Girlfriend with guy friends

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by TJ-, Apr 14, 2005.

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  1. TJ-

    TJ- New Member

    Ok does anyone else have this problem,

    Your girlfriend hangs out with her friends who are guys, and you know they are not be trusted. You tell her stuff like "that guy wants to bang you" and she doesnt think so, saying they are just friends. The more you bring it up the more she goes out with them. Its not like i dont trust her, i dont trust them damn guys...espicaly when they drink together :bleh:

    dammit. :wtf:

    I know girls that are my friends i would "do em" in a second, so it has to go the other way around. Guys only want one thing...

    or am i wrong? :wtf:
  2. pr0digal jenius

    pr0digal jenius Delete Me

    very few of us are to be trusted with other people's women, yes. :p

    I hear ya, but personally, I'd take the route of putting the fear of god in the guys, rather then telling her what to do.

    I understand yer trying to protect her, and I don't blame you. But you hafta play both sides of the field in such situations.
  3. merlinxi

    merlinxi The Paranoid Cook

    Hey man,

    I have been in a few relationships, and many of the girls have stabbed me in the back, and I have always been faithful to my girlfriends, never once have I cheated. They always have cheated on me. I can tell you this with sincere truth. Listen to me that woman in this world have all the power, they at any time can sue you for sexual harassment, cheat on you and never tell on you, lie to you and you will never know. Listen to me on this please: If she is starting to hang out with these guys HERSELF more and more. Their is something going on. I know for a fact, because shit like this never changes. It's always the same pattern the way it happens, not exatly the same, but preety much the same signs. Right now the only thing you can do is trust her, and if you really feel you don't, their isn't much of a relationship their. First of all how long have you been going out with her, and how long have you known her and how long have you known your friends?
  4. pr0digal jenius

    pr0digal jenius Delete Me

    very good questions
  5. TJ-

    TJ- New Member


    Well ive known her for about a year, she used to live here with me but is current in adelaide, bout 3 hr plane trip. Shes spose to come back here at the end of the year to live with me. These guys are all punks and dont like them, its not like i can threaten them, cause they are in a different state. The thing that pisses me off is when she says shes having a piss up at her house with them, like 3 guys and one chick, or she goes out to a party and gets drunk with them. And i know what she gets like when shes drunk. Shes real friendly, and guys take advantage of that. I know she would never intellintionaly cheat on me, and i do trust her, but wheen alchol is involved, plus she keeps telling me shes lonly, it makes me think the worst.
  6. pr0digal jenius

    pr0digal jenius Delete Me

    alcohol + lonely + drunk pricks = bad experiences :(


    Have you tried explaining to her that you're honestly worried and would appreciate it if she'd be careful, if not for her own good then for yours?
  7. TJ-

    TJ- New Member

    many many times, i dont even want to bring it up anymore, she lays the guilt trip on me saying i dont trust her bla bla... i say, i trust you i dont trust the guys, you know how it is... i guess i cant really do anything....

    one other big reason im worried is when she comes here (for holiday in few weeks) well i can say i dont really "use protection" (really dont like it) so thats a big thought is she slept with another guy when she was drunk, picked up a disease then gave it to me... thats a big worry...


    but it also came to me that i might just be a paraniod computer nerd :lol: at least thats what she tells me :D
  8. merlinxi

    merlinxi The Paranoid Cook

    Right their man, tells me she is cheating on you. Loneliness will let a girl do many things. In my experience long-distance relationships really do not work out for the better. If she has been getting drunk with them, I can only imagine what has been happening. If your friends are the way they are the way you say they are, then I know someting is going on. Right now you can't accuse, because she will deny, and deny, and deny. Then you will fight. Then she will win, it's the same process all the time. Really in my experience with other peoples problems, the guy most of the time is okay with the long-distance, whilst the girl can't take it. It's weird, but it most cases true. If shit went down, don't ask her. She will be expecting it and ready an answer for you, instead just let her tell you. If you bug her it will make her feel guilty and she will probably do it again.. Why? Because to make herself feel MORE guilty THINKING it will make her tell you. Just try to act normal, look at her moods, see if their are different expressions in her face. See if she changed a little bit the next time you see her. Actions speak louder then words.

    Also, girls like to take advantage of nice guys. "Nice guys finish last..." My girlfriend of a year and 6 months in the first 4 months of our relationship did something behind my back. It wasn't a BIG deal, but pissed me off none-the-less. So i gave her a guilt trip she could never forget. I never let a woman take advantage of me anymore from all the shit I experienced, and known that can and could happen, with certain signs and situations.
  9. pr0digal jenius

    pr0digal jenius Delete Me

    long distance relationships can work, it just depends on the environments...but drunk in a house with several guys doesn't sound like a healthy environment to me, no :(
  10. TJ-

    TJ- New Member

    you scaring me man :oops:
  11. pr0digal jenius

    pr0digal jenius Delete Me

    ANy girl who plays off genuine concerns you have as "shut up, nerdling" has got to go...sorry...that's just really shitty right there.
  12. merlinxi

    merlinxi The Paranoid Cook

    I don't mean to scare you, I mean to prepare you for the worst. Or the better. Situations like this are fucked up. I know how it feels, unfortunetly. Just lookin' out for my fellow driver heaven people. It hurts, it hurts like you are englufed in fire from 10,000 pipes exploding at the same time, whilst walking on spikes in a boiler room.
  13. TJ-

    TJ- New Member

    well she kinda says it in a good way, she says its cute :confused: i know that not real manly, but when im with her she always want me to teach her stuff on the comp... I think its not a bad thing that i know how do to stuff cause her friends are all dumb as a brick



    yes yes yes!. but i dont want to think the worst, im trying to be positive, i really do like this chick and dont want to dump her over some suspicians, i need some solid proof, but so far its just all in my head... or is it... thats what i cant figure out
  14. Callandor

    Callandor HH's Rogue Ninja Staff Member

    I've never had a gf, so I'm sorry, I can't help you on that one.
  15. dj_stick

    dj_stick Apple Fanboy? Staff Member

    i tend to think of it this way:
    I don't mind if my girlfriend goes out with her guy friends, because i know i can trust her. If there's no trust there's no relationship
    if she breaks that trust, she goes.
  16. jasonbourne

    jasonbourne New Member

    i really think that u should teel ur gf to stop doing that!!it's like u said u said u trust her and not the guys!!and it's like pj said alcohol + lonely + drunk pricks = bad experiences
  17. bug77

    bug77 New Member

    As it looks, you already know what's going on (don't kidd yourself). So the question is: what are you going to do about it? The answer is simple as well. But since I'm not in your shoes... It's up to you man.
    BTW: Why did you get involved with such a girl in the first place?
  18. studbagel9

    studbagel9 Rolling the Hard Six

    I dont' really know anyone in this thread in real life or are even good friends with them online, but from experience, you shouldn't wait for proof, because it will come after or at the time she breaks up with you. Almost every girl you'll ever meet is the same when it comes to that, and I know you may like her, maybe even love her, but if she won't even listen to you about this shit, can you really say she feels the same? I think you need to look at this thing really hard and have a good talk with this girl before she comes to live with you, because that's going to open an entirely different can of worms that is exponentially worse than the situation you have now. Like I said, you may love this girl, but you owe it to yourself to either get some straight answers, and then stay with her, or if you're still having doubts, just end it dude. You can't go through a relationship always wondering whether or not your significant other is faithful. This conversation is bringing up some bad memories so I'll end it here. My two cents: follow the advice of the other guys here aXe and get out while you can.
  19. Vikingod

    Vikingod Int'l Fish Liaison

    your not crazy, you shouldn't trust them. How old are you and your girl, how serious? these are things to be considered. I was with a girl for four years and she left me for some ass that wanted to be a pro wrestler and a michael jackson impersonator (doesnt say much about me, shit.) Oh well, it pretty much contributed to me meeting my wife (who was a once girlfriend of a best friend of mine). People should not be trusted. There are like three friends I would trust with my life, wife, and money. Not to sounds paranoid, but experience has taught me well, and rough. Good luck.
  20. HardwareHeaven

    HardwareHeaven Administrator Staff Member

    20 years+ of experience with women and from reading your comments. Ive the answer to this, but you wont like it.

    She is already cheating on you, the fact she is calling you paranoid, and still doing it and the other things you said, all link back to the fact she is playing around.

    It happened to me once, and it only happened once (once you learn), because these women are users and abusers and you treat them the way they treat you. trust me on this, this situation you have described is a classic female player situation.

    Next time you talk to her and she says, "im hanging out with my male friends and going partying", you reply with "oh really? hey thats great, well if you need me you have my mobile, but if I dont reply ill be out at **insert club name* with **insert friends name**.

    Get her out of your head and move on now, but dont dump her, just string her along and meet someone else while you are doing so - dont return calls, dont answer the phone, pick it up occassionally and say you were busy or out, etc etc.

    Dont fall for the games, play your own and beat them, works a treat - once they get deprived of the attention and the fact they know you arent running around like a love sick puppy they wont know how to handle it. Unless you are a paranoid insecure person, always trust your instincts, you will know when something is right. Trust me.

    Get used to it by the way, half of all women now are users and abusers man ! Just take what you need and move on.
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