Is it bad that I don't feel the need to procreate?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Calliers, Jun 25, 2018.

  1. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    Is it bad that I'm 32 and don't feel the slightest need to have kids? I just feel like they would be a nuisance and even if I do currently have a girl friend we have got a long ways to go before reaching that stage if we ever even reach that stage. I really don't see the point in kids.

    I know some people want to preserve their name, or pass on their genes or just give their lives meaning and have a family, but I am happy without them (kids). Maybe some of us are just wired differently.
     
  2. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood HH's curmudgeon

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    I never had kids...

    Most people would say that's a good thing.
     
  3. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    I should mention, I also think kids are really expensive.
     
  4. niceguyrichy

    niceguyrichy c c c COFFEE

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    no, it’s worse when people have kids just cos ‘that’s what you do’
    if you don’t want them, don’t have them. world is plenty full already, doesn’t need any extra unwanted kids.
     
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  5. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    Exactly my point as well, there are enough kids in this world, a lot of whom don't even have a home or anyone to take care of them. I've often thought that if one wanted kids, why not adopt instead of having your own?

    But kids aren't for me, I'll stay without. And no Richy, I would never bring kids into this world without taking full responsibility for them. I -HATE- when people do that.
     
  6. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    As long as the reason you claim that (here and to yourself) is that you indeed don't want to have kids, there is nothing wrong with that.
    If there is another reason you don't dare to admit and you use the other as an excuse, that's a problem that is bound to hunt you and kill you like an animal. Psychologically anyway.
     
  7. Mr Cairo

    Mr Cairo Require backup .... NO

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    Before we start I need to point out that my own parents gave me up for adoption I have always had a mixed feeling about parenthood

    Soooo .. I met my wife when i was 21 and she was 18 and we have been together (barring a split when we were 24 and 21 of 3 years) 30 odd years and I wont lie when we got back together after the split the house and marriage followed pretty quick but I did not want kids my wife however did

    we meandered on but we both knew that one day it may be a deal breaker she wanted kids I didn't .... 18 years ago she told me she was ready for kids, I loved her so I said ok ... terrified as I was , the night she told me she was pregnant i went for a long walk and I mean long trying to figure out what i wanted

    I love my wife immensely (still do) so I figured that I would try and see how things went .... I tried but wasn't invested, I shopped for baby stuff, painted the room but my heart was not on it and I thought about walking many times

    and so it was until her second scan .... there is no way to say this without sounding cheesy but that day it all just changed

    the moment I heard that heartbeat my world stepped sideways I was in and I mean all in ... I don't understand it to this day but something switched on and I was totally different on my attitude i could not wait for my son to be born

    When he was born i was the typical proud parent you would never have any doubt in your miond that I loved my kid , I did it all took him everywhere, took him to sports , walks, holidays I signed up for helping out at his school to spend time with him ... I did everything and that's how it is it all changed I would never give him up and cant believe that i ever considered not having kids

    Now hes 17 and a teenager and I want to kill the little gobshite at least once a day, but for the other 23 hours a day 7 days a week I love being a dad and love my son I never believed I would be that way and I still find myself surprised at times that I am

    I went from 100% against the idea to all for it literally overnight
     
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  8. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    That's an awesome post, Mr Cairo.
     
  9. Judas

    Judas Obvious Closet Brony Pony

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    It's rather unfortunate that it appears statistically that intelligent individuals, even hard working individuals that contribute some of the most in society are either having less children or none at all. Meanwhile the polar opposite is happening for the less intelligent and less ambitious.

    I've found that plenty of people, a shitpile of people rather, aren't prepared, or thought they were, or just did it by "accident" (mostly stupidity). The shear number of single mothers is astronomical, and society in this regard is in shambles due to compounding related problems.

    Cost of living in various places makes it entirely impractical to have a child, so some of the intelligent individuals that run the math and figure it out in order to prep and set some standards to ensure a properly supplied child for food/education/home and general safety end up either never being met or requiring special circumstances, meanwhile the less intelligent couldn't afford to feed themselves and are pumping out children left and right usually resulting in another generation of either equally or less ambitious/intelligent individuals being parasites on society and adding to the crime statistics.

    I think most people generally have a desire to have at least one child, but either never feel ready for it or are actually definitely not sufficiently ready. It also doesn't help that again in many places, few can afford to be the stay at home parent since both are more or less required to work in order to provide sufficient cash flow for themselves as is, and even more demand to raise a child. Studies have found that children that lack the attention and interaction with parents end up with quite often social/societal issues not to mention they then have issues themselves as parents growing up which of course tends to have a compounding problem long term.

    And then you've the other issues, general compatibility and the swarm of men/women that compromise so damn much that neither of them are actually happy and a child can definitely be the straw the breaks the camels back. There's some serious unrest though, you've got what is commonly called "incels" (involuntarily celibate) today, which are predominantly men, men that regardless of their physical/mental capabilities and even status in the social hierarchy will be repeatedly rejected no matter what they do or how many numbers the crank out for direct interactions in an attempt, which can be linked to the current turmoil involving women that are biologically desiring one thing but socially wanting another on top of consciously/subconsciously desiring both which are self contradicting. This tends to be why statistically, 20% of the men are ending up with the majority of women chasing them, and the other 80% are being actively rejected. It also doesn't help that there are a massive disparity between the gender population in numerous places where men are predominantly the greater number which of course compounds that problem too.

    Frankly, it's almost gotten to the point where a man, has a far greater chance of having offspring by donating their seed to a sperm bank... where as women, well they can get knocked up on a whim, and hell if their complete assholes of society these days, file a rape claim, get an almost endless supply of cashflow and force the man or even another man that had nothing to do with the child, into indentured servitude endlessly. This itself contributes to likely having far less of a desire to have a child as again, everything worked for, everything built, can be destroyed by getting involved with a woman these days no matter HOW well cultivated a relationship is and how much effort and compromise is made, so often now it's never enough and at least in western countries, specially US and Canada, the moment you even stick with a single individuals as a man for a short period without any marriage required, can result in them cleaning you out, add a child to the mix, and it's a certainty.
     
  10. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, if you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son.
     
  11. Judas

    Judas Obvious Closet Brony Pony

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    i'm not entirely following the statement short of it being a quote that is more often than not, shortsighted and ends up actually being the primary problem.
     
  12. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    Why did you quote me on your reply?
     
  13. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    Oh no I was just making fun of the guys that can't pull any girls. :p

    I thought your post was hinting at the fact that I might not want kids because I can't get a girl in the first place, which is why I quoted you then put Jay Z's quote from his song.

     
  14. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    I see.
    Well I will try to remember it next time you ask for input on a non technology matter.
     
  15. Judas

    Judas Obvious Closet Brony Pony

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    I'm sure if i really wanted to pull "any girl" so to speak... i could, but that wouldn't be me and from a psychological standpoint.. that'd be douchey....
     
  16. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    Well, I mean I'm at a stage at which I don't like most girls, I have to like their personality in order to bother with them.

    And yes I am always myself.
     
  17. Judas

    Judas Obvious Closet Brony Pony

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    I've been at that stage since before i was 10 years old....
     
  18. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    I find that with girls it's good to lay a few ground rules when you first start dating them. For example if I am dating multiple partners at once, I make sure that they all know about one another and they are fine with it. Also one very important rule I always lay down is I tell them I'm not about to spend a lot of money on them, so if they want that they can look elsewhere.
     
  19. Judas

    Judas Obvious Closet Brony Pony

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    one would have to date first... and these days at the fundamental level, it's kind of disappointing how many are honestly looking for a sugar daddy. Too often they say otherwise, but when you get them to finally break things down (and they generally won't talk to the candidate or a candidate they may have an interest in so it's always a break down provided to me as a "friend"), eventually they basically say they are looking for a sugar daddy, with far more words without every actually stating that clearly. "Oh i don't want a sugar daddy, I'm just looking for a..." followed by a man that basically does all the work so she can spend the money and live a life of luxury, which by definition, is looking for a sugar daddy.

    There are plenty of things that are instant turn offs, setting of alarms, and the mere mention of one's worth tends to draw attention.... i've no tolerance for that kind of attention, it's heavily skews things and no matter how much they may claim to like you for you, their eyes and their subconscious desires are focused on the money or wealth or assets or whatever retirement plan that is likely to ensure them the ability to live a lifestyle they would dream of.
     
  20. Mr Cairo

    Mr Cairo Require backup .... NO

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    Ferk me Im glad i did my dating in a different decade this all sounds like a godddamn minefield
     
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