Question for those who are content and at peace with themselves...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Calliers, May 10, 2018.

  1. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    So everyone talks about being content and happy, but, I ask you this: what do you do once you are content and happy? LOL! Life kind of becomes boring, because its like, hey look I have everything I want lol.

    I think it's kind of like you beat the final boss in a game, and then you watch the credits, then you're like ok now what do I do? Except you only have one game, and you can't play it again from the beginning. I suppose I could find a "purpose" in this world. I mean like, I was over at the volunteering page for my province checking out what you could do, there was one job I liked, it was like helping elderly people learn how to use their iPhone.

    Yeah, I might volunteer I guess, or something. And no, this black man is still -terrified- of a job application. LOL! :p
     
  2. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    You are doing something wrong if at your age you think you are content and happy.
     
  3. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood HH's curmudgeon

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    Die...
     
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  4. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    If one is happy with one's life, one hasn't finished the game, one is actually playing and enjoying it.

    If things are getting slightly boring, then it's a moment to think about some kind of change: it could be (generally speaking) finding/changing one's job, or finding a new hobby, learning a new skill or a new language, meting new people, or any other of countless human activities.

    I started dancing salsa ages ago, it was fun, it was satisfying to get better at it, it more or less kept me in shape and the social aspect was great, I met a ton of people at the school and at the parties, made friends, even travelled a bit.

    I started learning Italian, again, it was very satisfying to be learning something new, I also got more interested in their media, again met a few people (not nearly as much as in the previous case, but all nice, smart, nerdy types, from otherwise completely different backgrounds).

    So, more or less, whatever you choose, you're going to get better at something (which is always a satisfying thing), get a little smarter, meet a few people (and people you meet that way, people with interests, are usually slightly above the general average in most ways).
     
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  5. Judas

    Judas Obvious Closet Brony Pony

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    far too many people actually believe they are content... happy... but realistically aren't... they just have no where to go or just tired of trying and are telling themselves this.

    The only exception to that is that they are ignorant of what else could be done, lack imagination, or likely are beyond exhausted and have given up on life.
     
  6. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    I really liked this answer given on Quora:-

    [​IMG]


    It sounds like this quote by Charles Lamb is what you are going through.

    My answer would be… just continue being. Just continue being happy and satisfied. And grateful for your predicament. This is a very good problem to have, and not really a problem at all. Not many people can say what you have just said, so know that you are one of the lucky ones.

    Why are you asking this question though? It seems perhaps that you are looking for more, and in that sense not quite satisfied with being satisfied and not 100% happy to be happy.

    “Happy” and “Satisfied” are interesting concepts. Key word: Concepts.

    It is human nature to want more, strive for more, it is the nature of evolution to grow and evolve. But that also presents a problem, the troubled discontented mindset of either never having enough, or the “grass is greener on the other side” syndrome.

    Id be curious how you came to obtain this happiness, or if you were born with such a mindstate, if you find it easy (maybe too easy for you) to achieve satisfaction & happiness… if you feel that you have had it so easy that you arw on the lookout for something else, something harder…. Or if you feel that you have actually earned this happiness. Whether or not deep down yoh deserve it.

    A quote comes to mind: “The plain fact is, human beings are only happy when they are striving for something worthwhile”.

    You see, it may not be such a bad thing to not be completely satisfied with being happy, because then what are you striving for? Do you feel stuck or bored? Are you striving for anything meaningful?

    It seems like you may be looking for more in life. In that case, good! Why not?

    I have always felt that one of the best and worst things in life is to be… just… content in everything. If everyone felt that way, nothing would ever get changed.

    Don’t get me wrong, though, there is another side of this coin to keep in mind. I don't know if it's a personal quote or something I read somewhere, but I've come to realize: “One cannot be happy with everything unless one is happy with nothing.”

    Try looking into the practice of Buddhism, which is very much into the concept of achieving contentment of the present moment yet still strives to relieve suffering (which means that it predicates that human beings are not born happy and are not 100% happy). They argue that materialism and desire in the western sense creates unhappiness. However, how many Buddhist are 100% happy? And why is there constant suffering to accept then?

    That could be more of an “enlightenment” concept, though, so I digress…

    Here is a quote from Taoism (I love Taoism):

    [​IMG]


    According to this quote, as long as you realize and embrace your contentment and happiness, that is all that needs to exist for you.

    But here is another quote, also Taoist:

    [​IMG]


    So in this quote, the way I see it, is the only way to know what full satisfaction and happiness looks like, is to allow yourself to feel completely unsatisfied and unhappy. Or, another interpretation, to come from a place of nothing and emptiness so that you can feel those concepts fully without any preconceived notions or past ideas. But I'm just thinking aloud here….

    I digress again :)

    If we get philosophical about it, and take an example from this rabbit hole… that also means that the bum, or the “nowhere man” (quoting Beatles here), is completely content doing nothing, making nothing of him/herself, sitting on the street, having no real relationships, doing absolutely nothing but thinking about his next meal (and if he really were content he wouldn’t even really be trying to get his next meal anyway)… that would mean that he is satisfied. He is fine. He is truly happy.

    Now, there are 2 different lenses in which we can view this man: A more traditional Eastern philosophy, and a more modern Western philosophy. A philosophy of letting go of materialistic possessions, letting go of the past and future and concentrating on the “now”. Versus, a philosophy of striving, achieving, and goal setting in order to achieve the highest “human potential”.

    There is beauty in both perspectives; and yes, I do think it is possible to mix and match and learn and leave, to make your life however you see fit that makes you the happiest.

    Thus, I will not be the one to tell you that taking the “bum” mindset is the “wrong” way to go. There really is no “right” or “wrong” in life anyway, just different preferences based on different perspectives.

    Maybe being a floating empty vessel is your own way to fulfillment? Maybe it is constantly striving to grow?

    I do not know what it will be for you, and I will not try to implicate my own philosophies on you like an overbearing religious authority. All I know is what I myself have witnessed and my own reflections on the matter.

    I personally have always been curious of people who just don’t really want anything more than to just live…. and I think that that is, perhaps the easiest, simplest way to be “Happy” in the world. There is a profoundness in simplicity afterall.

    I know plenty of people who have many things in life, and on the outside it seems like they have it all, but what they really need to work on is the inside. They are not happy. In fact, they could use a lesson or two from the bummy nowhere man on how to be happy.

    At the same time, though I love the concept of “human potential”. I know that most of society revere inventors, forward thinkers, doers, achievers, changers, pushers, go-getters. Even if what they are pushing for is only their own concept of what will make people and themselves happy. But hey, I am definitely thankful for our societal advances. And I thoroughly enjoy building and creating things myself.

    Personally, it makes me happy to know that I am happy, yet continually strive for more happiness. Maybe happiness is not the word. But I just think, why not? It makes me feel good to know that there is always something else I can do, not because I have to but because I choose to. Maybe that's the key to happiness right there, having choice. Anyway, personally it makes me happy to evolve, change, be challenged, not take the easy way out. Yes, it is a blessing and a curse, I am fully aware. But it is my choice.

    Maybe there is also some fear there, that once I am content i might let things go under the illusion of content. But if it gets to a certain point, i will no longer be content; otherwise who cares, as long as we are happy, right? Right? (That is a whole other discussion…)

    Also, it makes me Happy to Want, and to be motivated in wanting to achieve my wants. I think that is one of the most beautiful things about life, is that we are given the “Ability” to want things. I’m not talking about materialistic things (although to want a comfortable lifestyle with the freedom to choose what you do every day is indeed not a bad idea). I am talking about wanting to make a difference in the world, or to challenge myself— because I can. Even wanting things like travel, going to new events, having fulfilling and meaningful relationships. Even wanting that chocolate cupcake with a little berry on the top. Man, even something that small makes me appreciate life all the more.

    So— I commend you for asking this question! Kudos to you for knowing and accepting that you are happy and satisfied, and wondering if that’s it, or if there is something more, or what.

    Anyway here are some quick answers:

    CHALLENGE yourself. Don't stop growing, learning, traveling, trying new things, evolving. You will gain much more perspective on what happiness is if you open your mind to different viewpoints on it.

    What do you think you cannot do? Try to do it. Why? Well, that is the trap I was talking about. The trap of thinking: Why do anything at all if I am already happy? Wasting your life away and doing absolutely nothing to me does not sound like happiness. That sounds horrible… but to each their own..

    LIVE. Live more! Do more things that make you happy. Do it on a higher scale. Get even better at it. Whatever you like to do, that you already do, that makes you happy… do more! Why the heck not?

    Guess what… you might be able to be even happier.

    SPREAD YOUR HAPPINESS. What about the rest of the world? Do you know how many people would love to be in your shoes?

    Finally, BE GRATEFUL. Like I said, this is a good problem to have. And more gratefulness might make you even more satisfied and happier, or appreciate even the times you are not.





    Now it may be a lengthy read but it was just what I needed to see. I also found a story by a guy who was like his life had become so plain it was a little boring at times but he had basically focused on kindness, being good to other people, and other virtues and he would set the compass and walk, and wherever he would appear he would surrender and accept. I thought that was pretty cool.

    And thanks @IvanV for reminding me that I'm still playing the game, it's just that I'm enjoying it. :)

    @Trusteft In case you didn't read all the stuff above, the saying goes "if you can't be happy with nothing, you can't be happy with everything".
     
  7. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    I started reading then stopped. Too long.

    If you have nothing, you don't have "time" for all the above.

    If you have no money, if you don't know how you are going to make it through another month. You don't care about any of the above.
    All the above matter only if you are bored, you have everything you want and plenty of time to spend.

    You need to be poor or live poor at least once in your life (and I don't mean one day) to open your mind. The problem is if you continue to be poor, very poor, you stop caring about philosophy, you care more for survival.

    If you have no real threats in your life and no real experience of what is to have nothing, then you start with philosophy. If you do not have education, if you have not studied philosophers, then you head to unintentional sophistry. Poorly based unintentional sophistry at that.

    Still, thinking is good.
     
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  8. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    Well, obviously having nothing is not ideal, but, a lot of bums who are bums by choice can teach a lot of very wealthy unhappy people a lot of lessons on life about being happy.

    I mean, having enough to eat, a warm place to sleep, clothes and so on is the basis for life. If you have those and a little left over then you can say you should be able to be content with just that before you can be content with a lot more. I mean, I am not one of those poor people around the world who live on less than a dollar a day, but isn't it funny that people with less tend to be more giving, and happier than their richer counterparts? It is not mere happenstance that this is the case in this world.

    I'll give an example, my little brother. He is very materialistic, almost like how I used to be in the past. If he gets something new, he will stop in the hall way or where ever he is in his house if he is on his way somewhere in the house and just spend moments looking at his new purchase, be it a shiny new TV, high end washing machine or smart speaker. He even admitted to me strangely today just as we were talking (as we talk most evenings) that he is in fact someone who is really materialistic. And for him that was a big step because he would always shy away from it when we talked about the subject and avoid it. Although I do implore you to read what is above, it may be long but it is some of the wisest stuff I've read in a while. :)
     
  9. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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  10. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    So I've found something to do that I like that is keeping me entertained as it were. I've started writing, more especially poems. I want to have a book ready in a couple months. :)

    I've ran a couple of my poems by a friend of mine who is an experienced artist and she thinks I have a gift for words so who knows where this may lead, I may go down in history as some great dude. LOL!
     
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  11. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    That is rather awesome! :)
     
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  12. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    Thanks man. Yeah, words come to me easily when I'm writing, at the same time I find it a real challenge to write stuff that is actually any good. I'll hook you up with a signed copy of my book when I'm done (if I don't just publish it as an e book).
     
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  13. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    Don't stop again.
    Good luck.
     
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  14. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids, 5 boys and 5 girls!

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    At my age, I still lack an understanding of "boredom". I really, and truly, cannot ever recall being bored. Either that, or I don't recognize it when it's right in front of me. If ever I run out of things to do, I just take a nap. :)
     
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  15. Liqourice

    Liqourice Well-Known Member

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    Never ever gonna be content. I'm not talking about wordly things like being economically independent and such here, I might get there one day but it still won't make me content. There's always something to discover, to learn and to experience. To be content is for me the same as quit living and just waiting for life to end. Not gonna happen, ever.

    Happy I don't know about. Never really been so I'm not even sure what it means.
     
  16. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    It's a real journey, for one to be happy you first have to realize that true happiness comes from within and not from without. Then you have to start working on yourself, maybe start meditating, make some quiet time for you to just reflect on life every day for 15-30 mins, it takes time but years later you will achieve happiness and from there you just keep going higher and higher in levels of enlightenment. :)

    Writing poetry is -so- liberating, I feel like a breath of fresh air has been blown into me, especially when I go back and read what I wrote like a while back, it's like, "I wrote that???", it's such a great thing. I'm soooo not bored anymore. :cool:
     
  17. Liqourice

    Liqourice Well-Known Member

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    That kinda comes with my handicap. As many other with some form of autism feelings and emotions can be really hard to understand. No, it doesn't mean I/we don't have them, we just don't know what they are and how to deal with them. That's how I react when people say they're happy, I have no idea what they're talking about. Maybe I have been, I just don't know. However, as many others with Aspergers I've learned that we're generally depressed, mostly because we don't know how to fit in anywhere. When I describe how I feel and what I think the experts say that I'm depressed. I wouldn't really know, I've been like this my entire life so for me this is normal.

    That's what i mean with not knowing what being happy means. I have nothing to relate to.
     
  18. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    I'm no expert but I'll say this, each of us have our own journey, and each journey is unique.
     
  19. Calliers

    Calliers HH's MC Staff Member

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    @Trusteft You know Trusteft, just coz you never read my post, and you make a habit of doing so, I just thought I'd leave a quote for you here:

    "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."

    - Henry Ford

    Try to listen to everyone, everyone's words carry weight, even a fools.
     
  20. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    What the fuck are you talking about? How did you reach the conclusion I never read your post?
     

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