Are you an asshole?

vicsrealms · Sep 12, 2009, 08:42 AM

There are three types of people in the world: Dicks, Assholes, and Pussies......gah, Team America World Police was an absolute hoot.

Senor_Mota · Sep 13, 2009, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PH3N0M

I am an asshole.

It took me a while to finally realize it, but that statement is nothing shy of the truth. Sure, I hold the door for people, I help people when I can...but that is the extent of my "good samaritan" actions. I piss on the seat when I use public toilets. I will drink your last beer. I've never been in a committed relationship. If I found a wallet on the ground, I'd take the money and throw the wallet in the trash. I park in handicap spaces. I always find an easy out. I think I'm better than you. I don't tip. I will tell you when something makes you look fat. I will check out your hot friends right in front of you. I do what I want, when I want.

I am an asshole.

Here are some more facts to further support my asshole persona. Loving and leaving is my second nature...actually I'm so good at it that it might be my first nature. I won't call you. Conversations lasting more than 5 minutes bore me. I have a lot on my plate, and you will never be my number 1 priority (the lucky ones might rank around 3 or 4). I hate your cat. When I use the last of the toilet paper, I leave the cardboard roll on the spool. I drink too much. When I throw random objects, I'm actually hoping I put someone's eye out. I still think I'm better than you.

I am an asshole.

I never use the word love unless its between the hours of 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. I have the mouth of a sailor which will never fail to shine in front of your parents, grandparents, preacher, etc. I voted for McCain. I enjoy having fun at other people's expense. You are not famous...so, if you ever ask me to rate you, be prepared because the number will be below 5. I let people know how terrible their fashion sense is when their closet consists of nothing except t-shirts and elastic banded pants. Being fat is not an excuse, it is a problem. Get off your fat ass for something more than a trip to Wal-Mart. If your cooking sucks, you will know. If you ever leave your dog in your car, then wonder why the inside of your car is torn to all hell when you come out of the store...its because I was standing at your window doing everything I possibly could to provoke the little tyke. I still think I'm better than you.

I am an asshole.

I know that I'm incredibly handsome, and have references to prove such. Secrets don't exist as far as I'm concerned...so that amazing (or extremely poor) sexual performance you gave last night will be the first thing my friends and I discuss. I might even tell the Wal-Mart greeter. I hate kids...not some kids...ALL of them. Babies make me nauseous. I am good at everything I do. I believe that diseases that cause people to be over-weight are conspiracies. The doctors simply made these up because they're not nice enough to let you know just how lazy and disgusting you really are, for fear that you will kill yourself. Since I'm an asshole, I could care less. I argue for the sake of arguing. I'm never wrong. I'm always judging you. I still think I'm better than you.

This should be in the FW...but you're either the most sardonic mother f*cker ever, or just another random douchebag that thinks the world owes him something. Seriously, this is your creed?

This is the standard of living you apply? It seems as if you're a waste of good oxygen. I guess I was that cynical and pessimistic at one time - when I was like 16.

Grow the f*ck up, dude.

PH3N0M · Oct 10, 2009, 02:05 PM

Hey, fuck stick, who do you think you are? This thread was meant as a joke, for laughs, nothing more. If you can't take it as such then you need to pull the dick out of your ass and come down off your high horse. I can't stand people such as yourself who always take things seriously. Take a deep breath, click your heels together 3 times, and go fuck yourself.

P.S.- Thanks for the negative rep, ASSHOLE. I returned the favor.

**MIG-31** · Oct 10, 2009, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PH3N0M

Hey, fuck stick, who do you think you are? This thread was meant as a joke, for laughs, nothing more. If you can't take it as such then you need to pull the dick out of your ass and come down off your high horse. I can't stand people such as yourself who always take things seriously. Take a deep breath, click your heels together 3 times, and go fuck yourself.

P.S.- Thanks for the negative rep, ASSHOLE. I returned the favor.

It looks like you need to let off some steam.. So this thread is now moved to FWZ.

isaak · Oct 11, 2009, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIG-31

It looks like you need to let off some steam.. So this thread is now moved to FWZ.

lol I was just thinking that as I read Ph3noms post..

dawgXdenta · Oct 18, 2009, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falstaff

its not the size of your asshole
its what you do with it...

uummmmm okaaaay, thats pretty disturbing

Tyrsonswood · Oct 18, 2009, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawgXdenta

uummmmm okaaaay, thats pretty disturbing

magaa · Nov 16, 2009, 07:51 PM

i dont think im an asshole

Senor_Mota · Nov 18, 2009, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PH3N0M

I am an asshole.

It took me a while to finally realize it, but that statement is nothing shy of the truth. Sure, I hold the door for people, I help people when I can...but that is the extent of my "good samaritan" actions. I piss on the seat when I use public toilets. I will drink your last beer. I've never been in a committed relationship. If I found a wallet on the ground, I'd take the money and throw the wallet in the trash. I park in handicap spaces. I always find an easy out. I think I'm better than you. I don't tip. I will tell you when something makes you look fat. I will check out your hot friends right in front of you. I do what I want, when I want.

I am an asshole.

Here are some more facts to further support my asshole persona. Loving and leaving is my second nature...actually I'm so good at it that it might be my first nature. I won't call you. Conversations lasting more than 5 minutes bore me. I have a lot on my plate, and you will never be my number 1 priority (the lucky ones might rank around 3 or 4). I hate your cat. When I use the last of the toilet paper, I leave the cardboard roll on the spool. I drink too much. When I throw random objects, I'm actually hoping I put someone's eye out. I still think I'm better than you.

I am an asshole.

I never use the word love unless its between the hours of 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. I have the mouth of a sailor which will never fail to shine in front of your parents, grandparents, preacher, etc. I voted for McCain. I enjoy having fun at other people's expense. You are not famous...so, if you ever ask me to rate you, be prepared because the number will be below 5. I let people know how terrible their fashion sense is when their closet consists of nothing except t-shirts and elastic banded pants. Being fat is not an excuse, it is a problem. Get off your fat ass for something more than a trip to Wal-Mart. If your cooking sucks, you will know. If you ever leave your dog in your car, then wonder why the inside of your car is torn to all hell when you come out of the store...its because I was standing at your window doing everything I possibly could to provoke the little tyke. I still think I'm better than you.

I am an asshole.

I know that I'm incredibly handsome, and have references to prove such. Secrets don't exist as far as I'm concerned...so that amazing (or extremely poor) sexual performance you gave last night will be the first thing my friends and I discuss. I might even tell the Wal-Mart greeter. I hate kids...not some kids...ALL of them. Babies make me nauseous. I am good at everything I do. I believe that diseases that cause people to be over-weight are conspiracies. The doctors simply made these up because they're not nice enough to let you know just how lazy and disgusting you really are, for fear that you will kill yourself. Since I'm an asshole, I could care less. I argue for the sake of arguing. I'm never wrong. I'm always judging you. I still think I'm better than you.

The "Master of Sarcasm" my ass. If you knew the definition of sarcasm, then you wouldn't be making such an ass of yourself over my two sentences of drivel.

You SO wish you were Tucker Max, you hackneyed, pathetic douchebag. Flame Warzone, right? You're the asshole? Well, I see you as more of a pussy. I bet you're some suburban kid who's overweight, obsessed with 50 Cent and lives with his Mom...at age 32. Nice dictation, but ANYONE can point out the obvious, make debasing statements about women and life in general, then completely solidify themselves as one of the most impertinent and unintelligent individuals I've ever heard rant about absolutely nothing.

I've heard it all before. But the truth of the matter is, that's your ego talking. Not you.

dawgXdenta · Nov 18, 2009, 08:40 PM

We are all assholes, our pride sometimes gets the better of us Mr Morta, try not to be so judgmental.
In my 2x

years of living on earth everyone has been an asshole @ least once, friends neighbors family, myself. Some people though do it so much ,that they become DAMN good at it.

OmegaRED · Nov 24, 2009, 03:33 AM

A lot of people are surprised I haven't been punched in the face however all the people who said that were huge assholes so what do they know.

isaak · Nov 24, 2009, 10:42 AM

As dawg said...everyone is an asshole at some stage in their life whether they want to be or not.

deBelly · Nov 24, 2009, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PH3N0M

I am an asshole.

It took me a while to finally realize it, but that statement is nothing shy of the truth. Sure, I hold the door for people, I help people when I can...but that is the extent of my "good samaritan" actions. I piss on the seat when I use public toilets. I will drink your last beer. I've never been in a committed relationship. If I found a wallet on the ground, I'd take the money and throw the wallet in the trash. I park in handicap spaces. I always find an easy out. I think I'm better than you. I don't tip. I will tell you when something makes you look fat. I will check out your hot friends right in front of you. I do what I want, when I want.

I am an asshole.

Here are some more facts to further support my asshole persona. Loving and leaving is my second nature...actually I'm so good at it that it might be my first nature. I won't call you. Conversations lasting more than 5 minutes bore me. I have a lot on my plate, and you will never be my number 1 priority (the lucky ones might rank around 3 or 4). I hate your cat. When I use the last of the toilet paper, I leave the cardboard roll on the spool. I drink too much. When I throw random objects, I'm actually hoping I put someone's eye out. I still think I'm better than you.

I am an asshole.

I never use the word love unless its between the hours of 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. I have the mouth of a sailor which will never fail to shine in front of your parents, grandparents, preacher, etc. I voted for McCain. I enjoy having fun at other people's expense. You are not famous...so, if you ever ask me to rate you, be prepared because the number will be below 5. I let people know how terrible their fashion sense is when their closet consists of nothing except t-shirts and elastic banded pants. Being fat is not an excuse, it is a problem. Get off your fat ass for something more than a trip to Wal-Mart. If your cooking sucks, you will know. If you ever leave your dog in your car, then wonder why the inside of your car is torn to all hell when you come out of the store...its because I was standing at your window doing everything I possibly could to provoke the little tyke. I still think I'm better than you.

I am an asshole.

I know that I'm incredibly handsome, and have references to prove such. Secrets don't exist as far as I'm concerned...so that amazing (or extremely poor) sexual performance you gave last night will be the first thing my friends and I discuss. I might even tell the Wal-Mart greeter. I hate kids...not some kids...ALL of them. Babies make me nauseous. I am good at everything I do. I believe that diseases that cause people to be over-weight are conspiracies. The doctors simply made these up because they're not nice enough to let you know just how lazy and disgusting you really are, for fear that you will kill yourself. Since I'm an asshole, I could care less. I argue for the sake of arguing. I'm never wrong. I'm always judging you. I still think I'm better than you.

Man, voting for McCain was so wrong!

Tyrsonswood · Nov 24, 2009, 08:47 PM

Sep 12, 2009, 08:42 AM	#31
vicsrealms DriverHeaven Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Texas, US Posts: 58 Rep Power: 0 System Specs	Re: Are you an asshole? There are three types of people in the world: Dicks, Assholes, and Pussies......gah, Team America World Police was an absolute hoot.

Oct 10, 2009, 02:05 PM	Thread Starter #33
PH3N0M The Master of Sarcasm Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: The U.S. of A Posts: 348 Rep Power: 37 System Specs	Re: Are you an asshole? Hey, fuck stick, who do you think you are? This thread was meant as a joke, for laughs, nothing more. If you can't take it as such then you need to pull the dick out of your ass and come down off your high horse. I can't stand people such as yourself who always take things seriously. Take a deep breath, click your heels together 3 times, and go fuck yourself. P.S.- Thanks for the negative rep, ASSHOLE. I returned the favor. __________________ Last edited by PH3N0M; Oct 10, 2009 at 02:16 PM.

Nov 16, 2009, 07:51 PM	#38
magaa DriverHeaven Newbie Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 11 Rep Power: 0	Re: Are you an asshole? i dont think im an asshole

Nov 18, 2009, 08:40 PM	#40
dawgXdenta HardwareHeaven Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Gabz Posts: 1,995 Rep Power: 135 System Specs	Re: Are you an asshole? We are all assholes, our pride sometimes gets the better of us Mr Morta, try not to be so judgmental. In my 2x years of living on earth everyone has been an asshole @ least once, friends neighbors family, myself. Some people though do it so much ,that they become DAMN good at it. __________________ Today's world is of public opinion and the fates of nations are determined through its pressure. Once the tools for building public opinion are obtained, everything that you asked for can be done. --- Osama bin Laden when relating how global media has the minds of the masses. ______________________________________ http://dawgxdenta.deviantart.com/gallery/

Nov 24, 2009, 03:33 AM	#41
OmegaRED Relapsed Gamer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ottawa , Canada Posts: 5,688 Rep Power: 173 System Specs	Re: Are you an asshole? A lot of people are surprised I haven't been punched in the face however all the people who said that were huge assholes so what do they know. __________________ E Penis Specs: <------------- See System Specs

Nov 24, 2009, 10:42 AM	#42
isaak HardwareHeaven Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 2,285 Rep Power: 112 System Specs	Re: Are you an asshole? As dawg said...everyone is an asshole at some stage in their life whether they want to be or not. __________________ The first step... shall be to lose the way. - Galway Kinnell