craig5320

Flames? hmm.. what's the best flame you guys can attempt to pull on me?
forget all the geek, virgin, fat momma, idiot ones as they don't apply.

thanks for your participation.

I await your replies with baited breath. and no breath is another one that ain't gonna float me boat.

C

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reno

*flexes his muscles*

*cracks his knuckles*

Eh-hem...la-la-la-la-la....

Here we go:

Yo momma is idiotic and geeky while you, on the other hand, are a fat virgin.


*bows*

SPANKtheMONKEY

I hear ur so ugly that ur dad had 2 tie a pork chop around ur neck just 2 get the dog 2 play wit u

__________________
Spank me - spank the monkey
Spank me - spank the monkey
Spank me - spank the monkey
Spank me - spank the monkey
Spank me - spank the monkey

Still working out if the Angle of the Dangle is inversly proportional to the Heat of the Beat

ByteMe

Your "charm" has the effect of a mosquito bite on the left ass cheek of a fucking moose.

Greebo_x

I think anyone ASKING to be hurt doesn't need to be flamed.... he'll probably just go home to his boyfriend, put on his dog collar and let his "master" whip him into submission...

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ByteMe

You are prob. right. You wouldn't be the boyfriend by chance?

Greebo_x

Nope. I hear YOU are the one who likes them underage (like Craig)...

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GREEKRAGE

OK OK ..here goes.

"Man you are so bald im thinking of getting you a sponge instead of comb for x-mas"

or

"Man your wife is soooo ugly...i bet you both wear a bag over your heads during sex incase hers rips"

and

"Man you are soooo fat....i bet if you fart you put the sun out"


Ok where do i collect my prise ??

UberLord

Those are jokes!

We want flames in here. FFS flame and flame properly. Do you even know what a flame is? I bet you got some smart alec remark about lighters, matches and stuff - ahahahaahahaha.

Checkout the Hall of Flame thread for pointers on what real flames are.

You cannot be serious
Hang on - I've got a clue-by-four for ya

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"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
Stephen Roberts

GREEKRAGE

Thanks for noticing only my jokes and not the other 2 or 3 posts before me("your so ugly etc. ")

All i did was follow the flow buddy.
As you do down the drain when i flush.........(is that better ??)

BTW those are true flames and not jokes(i believe a flame is an insult and these are just that..dont you agree?)

Also i didnt get that "clue by 4 for ya"...honestly(im in europe and some sayings dont mean much here unless you know its meaning)

UberLord

I live in Europe. Well, actually the UK.

Clue = 2
Now thing of some measurements and apply them to a piece of wood

Whats it commonly referred to as?
Answer = 2 by 4

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"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
Stephen Roberts

Ryoko

2 inches by 4 inches, undried measurement. equal to 5cm by 10cm

uber, you live in europe, so why is it you didn't know the metric measurement?

UberLord

I know both, but commonly use imperial as its more practical

Example :-
A dozen = 12
You find a dozen (12) bottles of wine in a case of wine
Now try and fit a metric measurement into the case of wine - practically

__________________
Gentoo Linux - Developer (baselayout)
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"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
Stephen Roberts

Ryoko

so england still uses "imperial" measurements because it's more practical for alcoholic beverages?

Jeff

Same here in Canada, we get donuts, and beer, in dozens, and we measure wood in feet and inches.... and run from the drunken, donut filled cops with the wood we just stole, driving a car going 150KM/H.

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Kelsenellenelvian

Your mother is soo ugly that if uglieness were bricks she'd own her own projects!!!

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UberLord

Well, I am partial to a bottle of wine or two

That was just an example of why people aren't willing to let imperial measurements die simply because the government tells you to

__________________
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"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
Stephen Roberts

fornicatarachnid

I live in the UK and I don't get it either

I must be as thick as 2 short planks

Worthless Munkee

Lets try this flame: Craig5320 is so ugly that the only reason he is not virgin is because he likes to have sex with pigs while licking goat balls, and he truly is a animal ass phucker. When he was born it was the first and last time he will ever see female genitallia (sp?).

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----<<<[And that is My opinion and I am sticking to it!]>>>----

multi

look guys , just dont fucn piss this newbie off ,ok
if yer dont know what a "two by four" is,
U gotta be...
THICK AS A BRICK
Really don't mind if you sit this one out.
My words but a whisper -- your deafness a SHOUT.
I may make you feel but I can't make you think.
Your sperm's in the gutter -- your love's in the sink.
So you ride yourselves over the fields and
you make all your animal deals and
your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick.
And the sand-castle virtues are all swept away in
the tidal destruction
the moral melee.
The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers
the newfangled way.
But your new shoes are worn at the heels and
your suntan does rapidly peel and
your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick.

And the love that I feel is so far away:
I'm a bad dream that I just had today -- and you
shake your head and
say it's a shame.

Spin me back down the years and the days of my youth.
Draw the lace and black curtains and shut out the whole truth.
Spin me down the long ages: let them sing the song.

See there! A son is born -- and we pronounce him fit to fight.
There are black-heads on his shoulders, and he pees himself in the night.
We'll
make a man of him
put him to trade
teach him
to play Monopoly and
to sing in the rain.

The Poet and the painter casting shadows on the water --
as the sun plays on the infantry returning from the sea.
The do-er and the thinker: no allowance for the other --
as the failing light illuminates the mercenary's creed.
The home fire burning: the kettle almost boiling --
but the master of the house is far away.
The horses stamping -- their warm breath clouding
in the sharp and frosty morning of the day.
And the poet lifts his pen while the soldier sheaths his sword.

And the youngest of the family is moving with authority.
Building castles by the sea, he dares the tardy tide to wash them all aside.

The cattle quietly grazing at the grass down by the river
where the swelling mountain water moves onward to the sea:
the builder of the castles renews the age-old purpose
and contemplates the milking girl whose offer is his need.
The young men of the household have
all gone into service and
are not to be expected for a year.
The innocent young master -- thoughts moving ever faster --
has formed the plan to change the man he seems.
And the poet sheaths his pen while the soldier lifts his sword.

And the oldest of the family is moving with authority.
Coming from across the sea, he challenges the son who puts him to the run.

What do you do when
the old man's gone -- do you want to be him? And
your real self sings the song.
Do you want to free him?
No one to help you get up steam --
and the whirlpool turns you `way off-beam.

LATER.
I've come down from the upper class to mend your rotten ways.
My father was a man-of-power whom everyone obeyed.
So come on all you criminals!
I've got to put you straight just like I did with my old man --
twenty years too late.
Your bread and water's going cold.
Your hair is too short and neat.
I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no-one judges me.

You curl your toes in fun as you smile at everyone -- you meet the stares.
You're unaware that your doings aren't done.
And you laugh most ruthlessly as you tell us what not to be.
But how are we supposed to see where we should run?
I see you shuffle in the courtroom with
your rings upon your fingers and
your downy little sidies and
your silver-buckle shoes.
Playing at the hard case, you follow the example of the comic-paper idol
who lets you bend the rules.

So!
Come on ye childhood heroes!
Won't you rise up from the pages of your comic-books
your super crooks
and show us all the way.
Well! Make your will and testament. Won't you?
Join your local government.
We'll have Superman for president
let Robin save the day.

You put your bet on number one and it comes up every time.
The other kids have all backed down and they put you first in line.
And so you finally ask yourself just how big you are --
and take your place in a wiser world of bigger motor cars.
And you wonder who to call on.

So! Where the hell was Biggles when you needed him last Saturday?
And where were all the sportsmen who always pulled you though?
They're all resting down in Cornwall --
writing up their memoirs for a paper-back edition
of the Boy Scout Manual.

LATER.
See there! A man born -- and we pronounce him fit for peace.
There's a load lifted from his shoulders with the discovery of his disease.
We'll
take the child from him
put it to the test
teach it
to be a wise man
how to fool the rest.

QUOTE
We will be geared to the average rather than the exceptional
God is an overwhelming responsibility
we walked through the maternity ward and saw 218 babies wearing nylons
cats are on the upgrade
upgrade? Hipgrave. Oh, Mac.

LATER
In the clear white circles of morning wonder,
I take my place with the lord of the hills.
And the blue-eyed soldiers stand slightly discoloured (in neat little rows)
sporting canvas frills.
With their jock-straps pinching, they slouch to attention,
while queueing for sarnies at the office canteen.
Saying -- how's your granny and
good old Ernie: he coughed up a tenner on a premium bond win.

The legends (worded in the ancient tribal hymn) lie cradled
in the seagull's call.
And all the promises they made are ground beneath the sadist's fall.
The poet and the wise man stand behind the gun,
and signal for the crack of dawn.
Light the sun.

Do you believe in the day? Do you?
Believe in the day! The Dawn Creation of the Kings has begun.
Soft Venus (lonely maiden) brings the ageless one.
Do you believe in the day?
The fading hero has returned to the night -- and fully pregnant with the day,
wise men endorse the poet's sight.
Do you believe in the day? Do you? Believe in the day!

Let me tell you the tales of your life of
your love and the cut of the knife
the tireless oppression
the wisdom instilled
the desire to kill or be killed.
Let me sing of the losers who lie in the street as the last bus goes by.
The pavements ar empty: the gutters run red -- while the fool
toasts his god in the sky.

So come all ye young men who are building castles!
Kindly state the time of the year and join your voices in a hellish chorus.
Mark the precise nature of your fear.
Let me help you pick up your dead as the sins of the father are fed
with
the blood of the fools and
the thoughts of the wise and
from the pan under your bed.
Let me make you a present of song as
the wise man breaks wind and is gone while
the fool with the hour-glass is cooking his goose and
the nursery rhyme winds along.

So! Come all ye young men who are building castles!
Kindly state the time of the year and join your voices in a hellish chorus.
Mark the precise nature of your fear.
See! The summer lightning casts its bolts upon you
and the hour of judgement draweth near.
Would you be
the fool stood in his suit of armour or
the wiser man who rushes clear.
So! Come on ye childhood heroes!
Won't your rise up from the pages of your comic-books
your super-crooks and
show us all the way.
Well! Make your will and testament.
Won't you? Join your local government.
We'll have Superman for president
let Robin save the day.
So! Where the hell was Biggles when you needed him last Saturday?
And where were all the sportsmen who always pulled you through?
They're all resting down in Cornwall -- writing up their memoirs
for a paper-back edition of the Boy Scout Manual.

OF COURSE
So you ride yourselves over the fields and
you make all your animal deals and
your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick.

yeah so be careful u lot...
ill smap the damn hell out of ya...
damn elite forum flamers ,haha
wouldnt know a flame thread from a
yo! momma.... joke



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