Are you a lover of American high octane, gun totting, silly one liner movies? If so then Ghost Squad on the Wii might just tickle your fancy. It is a light hearted, tongue in cheek shooter with no pretences of bringing anything new to the table. For those of you who have no idea what "Ghost Squad" is all about, Sega has taken the 2004 arcade release and brought it onto the Wii entirely as it was albeit with some extras and Wii specific control adjustments.

You are part of the Global Humanitarian Operation and Special Tactics team (WTF? no really!) and your job is to deal with the bad guys by delivering as much pain as possible, yes, shooting everything that moves. I know it might be hard to absorb this extremely complicated game ethic in one sitting, so let's pause for breath. There are three locations in the game and the first is a rather pimped out villa filled with fully destructible objects such as tables, chairs and household appliances. Unfortunately due to the age of the game and the graphical limitations of the Wii (or a combination of both), the game looks extremely dated with very poorly detailed textures on display. This level, while fun, soon gets a little dull and repetitive and it isn't until we hit the Air Force One stages that the game picks up.

Air Force One is the second destination and your mission is to rescue the captive president (who for some reason acts like a white dumb version of Will Smith) and there are multiple routes which can take you confusingly into the hull and storage areas of the plane. Thankfully it appears that the hull of Air Force One can safely withstand the bullets of any weapon so even the most intense gunfights are perfectly safe, yah go Sega!! Visually this was my favourite level, however those of you who wanted a Gears of War Xbox 360 experience had better look elsewhere. The pacing of these levels is fast and furious, one minute you are saving the lives of the pilots and the next you are dicing it out with terrorists in the storage bay in the middle of heavy turbulence with explosions all around you. When you finally get to meet the terrorist leader he is about to make his escape in a conveniently parked mini jet. Sureeee. The game takes a quick pace change and you are now asked to take down the terrorist leader with a single head shot. This in turn knocks him out of the back of the plane and he dies. Well actually he explodes, yes explodes. Those of you laughing along with me by now are wondering what on earth this is all about, its simple. Forget realistic environments, forget intense graphics, and just try to relive the days you spent in the arcade mindlessly feeding quarters into the machines!

The third and last level is the most expansive, you are now in a jungle environment with walkways, bridges and huts, all surrounded by poorly designed foliage. The game attempts to break it's inherent linear nature by offering paths to save hostages and to erase as many bad guys as possible, however in the long run you will end up in a boat on a route to the final confrontation within the game.

So there you have it, three locations, easily beat within one hour (or less) if you choose the fastest route to the end boss in each level. That's not a hell of a lot of value for money in the grand scheme of things, and many people are already bitching that 3 hours for Half Life 2 Episode 2 was poor value for money. This certainly brings things into a new perspective doesn't it?! To be fair to Ghost Squad it has decent replayability and you can take various paths throughout the three levels which extend the game life and you can even disarm bombs if you so wish. You even have multiple weapon choices including a sniper rifle which can bring a new dimension to the gameplay in key areas. Sega have even introduced hand to hand combat in the Wii version. Which is utterly useless.

Other extras in the Wii version include a Training mode which lets you hone your skills for all the game modes. There is the obligatory "target shoot" option and a combat training mode which features a series of increasingly difficult situations you will need to finish. These basically just involve you shooting a lot of targets so it won't really add much to the game, but it is another little playable facet to a rather short lived title. Interestingly Sega have added a four player option in the target shooting mode so you can challenge your buddies to a game of "quick fire", you can choose from standard and unlocked weapons, giving you a total of 25 various guns.

As I mentioned the graphics are subpar and won't even tax the Wii, however to make matters worse, the voice acting is absolutely terrible. The dialogue sounds like it has been lifted out of a corny B movie and when you combine this with the horrific and incredibly stupid one liners from the henchmen you end up with an overall experience so bad, you end up laughing along with it. The music is electronic synth rock, french pron style , circa 1975 and is just as cheesy as the hilarious ham acting. You know when you end up in a cinema watching a movie so bad, it actually compels you to stay until the end? You get the deal then.

The Wii's incredibly strong online abilities are not put to good use either and all that is offered is the option to submit and track global and regional score tables.

In the vague attempt to be supportive of Ghost Squad, is it great that Sega have decided to port a relatively playable arcade game to the Wii, unfortunately it just doesn't work well at all.  Everything about the game feels substandard, outdated, rushed and inadequate. A mere 45 minutes of game play leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth and if I had spent $40 buying this game I would be right back in Best Buy ramming the case down a sales assistant's throat demanding my money back. I can only recommend this game as a rental to the most die hard Wii arcade shooter fanatics. Everyone else should just stay well clear.