Despair

Falstaff · Jun 4, 2004, 11:28 PM

my life was swallowed by fears and regrets
of unspoken words and unpaid debts

when others lept I had to wait
I stood at the threshold and paused at the gate

My friends and family forced my hand
they took my bottle and made their demands

I stood on the edge and refused to see
the terrible wages of my sins and eternity

My women have left and my children are grown
and yet I wander this earth in search of a home

then suddenly one day, as I lost all control
I asked for help for my tired body and my soul

In the mirror that I refused to stand before
was the image of a man I could not ignore.

So I gathered my courage and pulled him up by his belt
and forced him to play the cards that he had himself dealt.

from the edge I saw the possible pathes I could have taken
and in my resolve I made a choice and I was unshaken

two years now, I have had time to live and love and think.
and I am grateful for the fact that someone else took my drink

for the friend I saw in the mirror and in the broken glass
was myself and no other, I had ignored in the past.

GutterPunk · Jun 4, 2004, 11:52 PM

very moving... very good

Falstaff · Jun 5, 2004, 12:20 AM

thanx Greg...

~~HawK~~ · Jun 5, 2004, 08:02 PM

Thank you Jeff for sharing these words, I was on that road once & know what its like..

~~bluelight~~ · Jun 5, 2004, 08:47 PM

Jeff.......

Me too.Gave it up 15 years ago.I got to a limit where there was only two ways to go.

I wish i could meet you where you are.Take a ride in a car ...look.. talk..take photos of Gods nature.....

Take care man

Bluey

danjufo · Jun 5, 2004, 09:43 PM

im not usualy one for poems but that is realy nice, very emotional.. very nice

Falstaff · Jun 5, 2004, 10:57 PM

thankyou....there are so many paths I could have taken in my life and somehow with good fortune and the grace of god I have got this far. maybe I am a survivor, but I wish I was clever enough to learn from my mistakes the first time...LOL

Zardon · Jun 5, 2004, 10:58 PM

I missed this one, great wording jeff. right from the heart again dude.

Falstaff · Jun 6, 2004, 12:01 AM

thanx Allan, been kinda melancholy lately, my dad isnt feeling well anymore I am pretty selfish with my time with him now...

mainman · Jun 6, 2004, 06:32 AM

Simply beautifull...the gift of words...amazing...

pr0digal jenius · Jun 6, 2004, 06:41 AM

...a gift many of us don't possess

Patricia · Jun 7, 2004, 02:43 AM

Jeff, your gifts of incredible artistic abilities in writing, drawing and so forth have not ceased to amaze me at this point,...excellent job.

Jun 4, 2004, 11:28 PM	#1
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	Despair my life was swallowed by fears and regrets of unspoken words and unpaid debts when others lept I had to wait I stood at the threshold and paused at the gate My friends and family forced my hand they took my bottle and made their demands I stood on the edge and refused to see the terrible wages of my sins and eternity My women have left and my children are grown and yet I wander this earth in search of a home then suddenly one day, as I lost all control I asked for help for my tired body and my soul In the mirror that I refused to stand before was the image of a man I could not ignore. So I gathered my courage and pulled him up by his belt and forced him to play the cards that he had himself dealt. from the edge I saw the possible pathes I could have taken and in my resolve I made a choice and I was unshaken two years now, I have had time to live and love and think. and I am grateful for the fact that someone else took my drink for the friend I saw in the mirror and in the broken glass was myself and no other, I had ignored in the past. __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor." Last edited by fallang_jeff; Jun 5, 2004 at 10:55 PM.

Jun 4, 2004, 11:52 PM	#2
GutterPunk I = Greatest Dood Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Nebraska Posts: 5,949 Rep Power: 71	very moving... very good __________________ Rock On \m/ Thank you Mousey for the Sig! --------------- Intel Core2Duo E6660 (3.4GHZ) ~ Tuniq Tower 120 ~ Enermax Galaxy 1000W ~ Corsair Dominator @ 1090MHZ 5-5-5-15 (OCZ XTC Modded Cooler)~ EVGA 8800GTX W/ HR-03 Plus 120MM ~ Asus DVD-RW LiteScribe ~ LG DVD-RW ~ Corsair Voyager 2GB ReadyBoost Drive ~ Vantec Nexus Fan Controller ~ ThermalTake Armor 25CM fan ~ Personal Finance Blog: Dent Your Debt

Jun 5, 2004, 12:20 AM	Thread Starter #3
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	thanx Greg... __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Jun 5, 2004, 09:43 PM	#6
danjufo DH.Sig.Maker Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: england Posts: 1,231 Rep Power: 0	im not usualy one for poems but that is realy nice, very emotional.. very nice __________________ [COLOR=dimgray]DeviantArt Gallery[/COLOR] [COLOR=silver]How to add your signature image[/COLOR] [COLOR=white]Signature + Avatar Rules[/COLOR]

Jun 5, 2004, 10:57 PM	Thread Starter #7
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	thankyou....there are so many paths I could have taken in my life and somehow with good fortune and the grace of god I have got this far. maybe I am a survivor, but I wish I was clever enough to learn from my mistakes the first time...LOL __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Jun 5, 2004, 08:02 PM	#4
~~HawK~~ Banned Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 2,092 Rep Power: 0	Thank you Jeff for sharing these words, I was on that road once & know what its like..

Jun 5, 2004, 08:47 PM	#5
~~bluelight~~ Banned Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,328 Rep Power: 0	Jeff....... Me too.Gave it up 15 years ago.I got to a limit where there was only two ways to go. I wish i could meet you where you are.Take a ride in a car ...look.. talk..take photos of Gods nature..... Take care man Bluey

Jun 5, 2004, 10:58 PM	#8
Zardon DriverHeaven Founder Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 32,480 Rep Power: 179	I missed this one, great wording jeff. right from the heart again dude.

Jun 6, 2004, 12:01 AM	Thread Starter #9
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	thanx Allan, been kinda melancholy lately, my dad isnt feeling well anymore I am pretty selfish with my time with him now... __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Jun 6, 2004, 06:32 AM	#10
mainman Mr. Nobody Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: OmniPresent Nightwatcher Posts: 5,961 Rep Power: 71	Simply beautifull...the gift of words...amazing... __________________

Jun 6, 2004, 06:41 AM	#11
pr0digal jenius Delete Me Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 14,648 Rep Power: 0	...a gift many of us don't possess

Jun 7, 2004, 02:43 AM	#12
Patricia DriverHeaven's Angel Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 216 Rep Power: 0	Jeff, your gifts of incredible artistic abilities in writing, drawing and so forth have not ceased to amaze me at this point,...excellent job.