Suffocate

Drakon · Feb 3, 2005, 03:37 AM

This is something that I've been meaning to write, but I never got around to it. A Perfect Circle's "Gravity" and P.O.D.'s "Asthma" inspired me to write it. Could use a lil tweaking here and there... Dunno.
_________________________________

[color=white]Slowly I slip away[/color]
[color=white]Into the dark emptiness[/color]
[color=white]While these invisible hands[/color]
[color=white]Choke me mercilessly[/color]

[color=white]As gravity takes its hold on me[/color]
[color=white]I struggle to set myself free[/color]
[color=white]To give my hungry lungs[/color]
[color=white]A breath of air they so desperately need[/color]

[color=white]Further and further I drift away[/color]
[color=white]From the land where consciousness exists[/color]
[color=white]No one to hear my silent screams[/color]
[color=white]No one to see my frantic eyes plead[/color]

[color=white]Soon the darkness engulfs me[/color]
[color=white]Taking my mind, body and soul entirely[/color]
[color=white]And while I choke myself internally[/color]
[color=white]I wonder, “Will someone come rescue me?”[/color]

shortstuff · Feb 3, 2005, 04:06 AM

Very well done Drakon.

Drakon · Feb 3, 2005, 04:16 AM

thanks shortstuff...

Falstaff · Feb 3, 2005, 10:38 AM

nice job man...

Drakon · Feb 3, 2005, 04:14 PM

thanks jeff

shortstuff · Feb 3, 2005, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drakon

thanks shortstuff...

You are very welcome Drakon.

Callandor · Feb 4, 2005, 12:38 PM

WoW!!!! That's great Drakon!

I esp like the end bit, it sounds too cool man. I think maybe if you expand on it, you could just write a winner. But no more elaboration needs to be done on that part if you ask me, it's a-ok as it is right now, could make one hell of a chorus.

Drakon · Feb 4, 2005, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sun_walka

WoW!!!! That's great Drakon!

I esp like the end bit, it sounds too cool man. I think maybe if you expand on it, you could just write a winner. But no more elaboration needs to be done on that part if you ask me, it's a-ok as it is right now, could make one hell of a chorus.

thanks sun_walka. i was thinking of expanding it a lil... dunno, we'll see

GutterPunk · Feb 6, 2005, 06:15 AM

very nice gj drakon!

Drakon · Feb 6, 2005, 06:24 AM

thanks, greg. thought u were too lazy to comment?

Feb 3, 2005, 03:37 AM	#1
Drakon DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Floatin'... Posts: 4,957 Rep Power: 0	Suffocate This is something that I've been meaning to write, but I never got around to it. A Perfect Circle's "Gravity" and P.O.D.'s "Asthma" inspired me to write it. Could use a lil tweaking here and there... Dunno. _________________________________ [color=white]Slowly I slip away[/color] [color=white]Into the dark emptiness[/color] [color=white]While these invisible hands[/color] [color=white]Choke me mercilessly[/color] [color=white]As gravity takes its hold on me[/color] [color=white]I struggle to set myself free[/color] [color=white]To give my hungry lungs[/color] [color=white]A breath of air they so desperately need[/color] [color=white]Further and further I drift away[/color] [color=white]From the land where consciousness exists[/color] [color=white]No one to hear my silent screams[/color] [color=white]No one to see my frantic eyes plead[/color] [color=white]Soon the darkness engulfs me[/color] [color=white]Taking my mind, body and soul entirely[/color] [color=white]And while I choke myself internally[/color] [color=white]I wonder, “Will someone come rescue me?”[/color]

Feb 3, 2005, 04:06 AM	#2
shortstuff Sweetness Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,835 Rep Power: 0	Very well done Drakon. __________________ [color=Indigo]Joe "Roadee" Dawson R.I.P my friend. You will be missed [/color] If we keep doing what we've always done, we'll keep getting what we've always got.

Feb 3, 2005, 10:38 AM	#4
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	nice job man... __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Feb 4, 2005, 12:38 PM	#7
Callandor Forged on Dragonmount Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 7,237 Rep Power: 304 System Specs	WoW!!!! That's great Drakon! I esp like the end bit, it sounds too cool man. I think maybe if you expand on it, you could just write a winner. But no more elaboration needs to be done on that part if you ask me, it's a-ok as it is right now, could make one hell of a chorus. __________________

Feb 6, 2005, 06:15 AM	#9
GutterPunk I = Greatest Dood Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Nebraska Posts: 5,949 Rep Power: 71	very nice gj drakon! __________________ Rock On \m/ Thank you Mousey for the Sig! --------------- Intel Core2Duo E6660 (3.4GHZ) ~ Tuniq Tower 120 ~ Enermax Galaxy 1000W ~ Corsair Dominator @ 1090MHZ 5-5-5-15 (OCZ XTC Modded Cooler)~ EVGA 8800GTX W/ HR-03 Plus 120MM ~ Asus DVD-RW LiteScribe ~ LG DVD-RW ~ Corsair Voyager 2GB ReadyBoost Drive ~ Vantec Nexus Fan Controller ~ ThermalTake Armor 25CM fan ~ Personal Finance Blog: Dent Your Debt

Feb 3, 2005, 04:16 AM	Thread Starter #3
Drakon DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Floatin'... Posts: 4,957 Rep Power: 0	thanks shortstuff...

Feb 3, 2005, 04:14 PM	Thread Starter #5
Drakon DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Floatin'... Posts: 4,957 Rep Power: 0	thanks jeff

Feb 6, 2005, 06:24 AM	Thread Starter #10
Drakon DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Floatin'... Posts: 4,957 Rep Power: 0	thanks, greg. thought u were too lazy to comment?