Shaunboyland

I'm writing this for my Mythologies class, I'm not quite finished yet, but I thought some of you might like to read it. Please critique, I won't take it personal I don't consider myself a great writer or anything

In the beginning there was nothing except the sky and two seeds, one white and one black. For countless millennia these two seeds sat motionless in the nothingness. Then in one momentous moment the white seed opened to reveal the God of pure light, Lumina, followed shortly by the opening of the black seed revealing the God of perpetual darkness, Nonlum. For one thousand years the two Gods grew and filled the sky, until the time came when there was no more sky to grow into. At this point both Lumina’s light and Nonlum’s darkness each covered exactly half of the sky. And for a short while both Lumina and Nonlum were content with the way things were. This peace would not last long, however, for Lumina began to grow greedy over Nonlum’s portion of the sky, because she believed that her light should cover the entire sky. With a bow Lumina shot Nonlum countless times with sharp points of light, forever wounding Nonlum. In retaliation Lumina’s hostile action, Nonlum threw his black discus at Lumina, covering her most prized possession, the object brightest in her sky, the Sol. Lumina horrified by Nonlum’s power, quickly concedes that she cannot defeat Nonlum and that there should be peace between the two Gods. A wounded but still strong Nonlum, says that there can only be peace if Lumina recognizes Nonlum as the stronger of the two and as the ruler. And so it came about that Lumina agrees and Nonlum became the King of the Gods.

After several millennia, Lumina was weary of being ruled over continuously by Nonlum and she began to wish that she herself ruled over something. So in an act of defiance to Nonlum she created two more Gods, the God of the Land, Petrone, and the God of the Waters, Aginian. Lumina then commanded Petrone and Aginian to form the Earth under the brightest point in the sky, Lumina’s Sol. And so Petrone created and the ruled over the mountains, plains, valleys, and hills of the Earth, while Aginian created and ruled the oceans, rivers, lakes, seas, and streams of the Earth. Where the domains of Petrone and Aginian met sprouted the plants that soon covered over most of the Earth. Soon Nonlum discovered this small world called Earth and was severely angered with Lumina’s act of defiance. Nonlum then decreed that the Earth will be covered with his darkness half of time, powerless to challenge Nonlum, Lumina agrees to the judgment. To ensure that the other Gods, Petrone and Aginian, can never become too powerful, Nonlum creates two more Gods to be under his control. He creates Migrapet the God of Earthquakes, who will constantly shift Petrone’s lands, and Agurapt the God of Storms, who will relentlessly stir up Aginian’s waters. And so was how the Earth was created.




The ever conniving Lumina decided that she still wanted the Earth to be lighted up at night even when Nonlum decreed it not to be done. Lumina believed that maybe if some creature other than herself were to create light that Nonlum would not be too concerned. And so first she created a man-like creature from the land and she called it an ape, but when she tried to give the creature a lesser form of her light known as fire using a broken limb off a tree, the ape burned himself and ran into the jungle, where he lives to this day. On Lumina’s second try she used both the land and the water of the Earth in her creation, and thus was created the first Man. When Lumina gave this man the fire, he also burned himself, but he was not cowardly and did not run away. He tried again more cautiously and successfully picked up the fire without burning himself and felt the soft warmth on his skin and the beautiful light it made during the night. Lumina saw that this man could not light up the entire Earth alone during the night, so she created a female so that they can procreate and spread her light all around the Earth. For several hundred years Lumina’s scheme had worked and Nonlum did not notice the creatures called Man lighting up the Earth even during the hours of his darkness. But the time finally came when Nonlum noticed the many lights shining from Earth, and he was angered at the bold act of Lumina’s trickery yet again. And so Nonlum created thousands of animals many of which were incredibly ferocious in order to keep the numbers of humans down. Nonlum, incredibly angry with Lumina, decided to cover her most coveted light, the Sol, forever with his black discus, but she pleaded with him not to do it. She vowed to never interfere with his rule, if only he wouldn’t cover her precious Sol. Nonlum accepted her vow, and he decreed that once every 100 years he will cover her light from the sky in order to demonstrate his power over her forever more.

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Falstaff

this is gonna be a book I know it....
got admin?

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Shaunboyland

Added More

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Falstaff

cool beans

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Jitter

I see one problem in the first part. Its titled "Creation of the Sky", and the first sentence starts "In the beginning there was nothing except the SKY and two seeds......" The sky can not be created if its already there. Maybe just change it to "In the begining there was nothing but emptiness and two seeds." Or maybe change the title to something like "The Begining of Day and Night"

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Shaunboyland

In a older version of the myth there was nothing but the emptiness and the two seeds but when I changed it to it's current incarnation I forgot to change the title. Thanks for pointing out my problem

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SaintSatinStain

Good premise; although you could use another name for the planet and inhabitants, and create an original biome.

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Saint Satin Stain
"In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments - there are consequences."