Bellringer...joke

Falstaff · Aug 23, 2006, 05:25 PM

All across the kingdom, the news travelled quickly that the Queen’s bell-ringer, who faithfully served the royal family for decades, had passed. The Queen made the royal decree that she was looking for someone to come and take his place.

The next day, a humble peasant was first in the long line of applicants for the job. “My Queen,” he entreated her, “since I was a youth, I have always wanted to serve our kingdom and the royal family in this way. Let me be your bell-ringer, and I will serve in earnest all the days of my life.”

The Queen appreciated the peasant’s words, but was puzzled. “My humble servant, I have but one question: how can you serve the kingdom as the royal bell-ringer? You don’t have any arms!”

The peasant smiled and said simply, “Take me to the tower and I will show you.”

The Queen, her entourage, and the peasant climbed the steps of the bell tower until they reached the top. The peasant looked over his shoulder at the queen, “Behold!” And with that, the peasant ran to the far side of the room, spun around and ran directly at the bell. Faster and faster he ran then leapt, flew through the air, and–WHAM!–hit the bell full-force with his face.

Stunned, the Queen hesitated. But, when she heard the bell peal as never before, she told the peasant, “the position is yours.”

Weeks went by as the peasant served faithfully and punctually, and always in the same way: he would run across the room, spin around, charge directly at the bell, leap, and–WHAM!–hit the bell full-force with his face.

Until, that is, one fateful morning when the peasant woke up late. Certain he could still make it in time, he ran from his common home, tore across the kingdom, scrambled up the tower, across the room, spun, leapt and…missed the bell entirely! He instead flew across the room, out the nearby window and plummeted a thousand feet to his death.

Having heard the commotion, the castle guards ran upstairs to find the empty room. They looked out the window to find a crowd gathering around the peasant’s body. The one guard looks at each other and says, “My God–that poor man! Have you any idea who he is?”

The other:

(wait for it!)

“I don’t know, but his face rings a bell.”

LHC · Aug 23, 2006, 05:39 PM

Good one

Sandok · Aug 23, 2006, 05:47 PM

Now that's just lame

***craig5320*** · Aug 23, 2006, 05:52 PM

Oh dear.

LOL

SFOSOK · Aug 23, 2006, 07:57 PM

isn't it supposed be a name that rings a bell? lol

Tinkerhell · Aug 23, 2006, 09:41 PM

That's just bad.

BabylenTatarsky · Aug 23, 2006, 10:03 PM

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on her heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Queen continued hr interviews for a new bell ringer.

The first man to approach him said, "Your majesty, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."

The Queen agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, and died on the spot.

Two Castle guards, hearing the Queen's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

"What has happened? Who is this man?" the first Guard asked breathlessly.
"I don’t know his name," sighed the Queen...

(here we go again..)

“.... But he’s a dead ringer for his brother."

Falstaff · Aug 23, 2006, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabylenTatarsky

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on her heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Queen continued hr interviews for a new bell ringer.

The first man to approach him said, "Your majesty, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."

The Queen agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, and died on the spot.

Two Castle guards, hearing the Queen's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

"What has happened? Who is this man?" the first Guard asked breathlessly.
"I don’t know his name," sighed the Queen...

(here we go again..)

“.... But he’s a dead ringer for his brother."

DOH!!!!!

BWAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH

SexPistoL · Aug 23, 2006, 10:19 PM

OOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo.................... .

***craig5320*** · Aug 23, 2006, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabylenTatarsky

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on her heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Queen continued hr interviews for a new bell ringer.

The first man to approach him said, "Your majesty, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."

The Queen agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, and died on the spot.

Two Castle guards, hearing the Queen's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

"What has happened? Who is this man?" the first Guard asked breathlessly.
"I don’t know his name," sighed the Queen...

(here we go again..)

“.... But he’s a dead ringer for his brother."

hahahaha, that really finished it off, nice. lol

**dj_stick** · Aug 24, 2006, 12:16 AM

well the first post was only half the joke

BabylenTatarsky · Aug 24, 2006, 09:46 PM

I preferred the first half.

SFOSOK · Aug 24, 2006, 10:19 PM

Neither seemed funny to me at all. I don't know why.

Aug 23, 2006, 05:25 PM	#1
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	Bellringer...joke All across the kingdom, the news travelled quickly that the Queen’s bell-ringer, who faithfully served the royal family for decades, had passed. The Queen made the royal decree that she was looking for someone to come and take his place. The next day, a humble peasant was first in the long line of applicants for the job. “My Queen,” he entreated her, “since I was a youth, I have always wanted to serve our kingdom and the royal family in this way. Let me be your bell-ringer, and I will serve in earnest all the days of my life.” The Queen appreciated the peasant’s words, but was puzzled. “My humble servant, I have but one question: how can you serve the kingdom as the royal bell-ringer? You don’t have any arms!” The peasant smiled and said simply, “Take me to the tower and I will show you.” The Queen, her entourage, and the peasant climbed the steps of the bell tower until they reached the top. The peasant looked over his shoulder at the queen, “Behold!” And with that, the peasant ran to the far side of the room, spun around and ran directly at the bell. Faster and faster he ran then leapt, flew through the air, and–WHAM!–hit the bell full-force with his face. Stunned, the Queen hesitated. But, when she heard the bell peal as never before, she told the peasant, “the position is yours.” Weeks went by as the peasant served faithfully and punctually, and always in the same way: he would run across the room, spin around, charge directly at the bell, leap, and–WHAM!–hit the bell full-force with his face. Until, that is, one fateful morning when the peasant woke up late. Certain he could still make it in time, he ran from his common home, tore across the kingdom, scrambled up the tower, across the room, spun, leapt and…missed the bell entirely! He instead flew across the room, out the nearby window and plummeted a thousand feet to his death. Having heard the commotion, the castle guards ran upstairs to find the empty room. They looked out the window to find a crowd gathering around the peasant’s body. The one guard looks at each other and says, “My God–that poor man! Have you any idea who he is?” The other: (wait for it!) “I don’t know, but his face rings a bell.” __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Aug 23, 2006, 05:39 PM	#2
LHC Stingy and Stubborn Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 1,325 Rep Power: 0 System Specs	Good one __________________

Aug 23, 2006, 05:52 PM	#4
*craig5320* HH Administrator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 8,572 Rep Power: 445 System Specs	Oh dear. LOL __________________ HardwareHeaven on Facebook

Aug 23, 2006, 07:57 PM	#5
SFOSOK 939 Goin Strong Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ontario Posts: 7,033 Rep Power: 90 System Specs	isn't it supposed be a name that rings a bell? lol __________________ Warning - Explicit Content Preceeding METAL!!

Aug 23, 2006, 10:03 PM	#7
BabylenTatarsky Rocks Your Socks Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: St. Helens [UK] Posts: 1,656 Rep Power: 63 System Specs	The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on her heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Queen continued hr interviews for a new bell ringer. The first man to approach him said, "Your majesty, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty." The Queen agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, and died on the spot. Two Castle guards, hearing the Queen's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened? Who is this man?" the first Guard asked breathlessly. "I don’t know his name," sighed the Queen... (here we go again..) “.... But he’s a dead ringer for his brother." __________________

Aug 23, 2006, 05:47 PM	#3
Sandok DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 9,472 Rep Power: 0	Now that's just lame

Aug 23, 2006, 09:41 PM	#6
Tinkerhell Not all fairies are nice. Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Georgia, USA Posts: 989 Rep Power: 44	That's just bad.

Aug 23, 2006, 10:19 PM	#9
SexPistoL DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: UK Posts: 604 Rep Power: 0	OOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo.................... . __________________

Aug 24, 2006, 09:46 PM	#12
BabylenTatarsky Rocks Your Socks Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: St. Helens [UK] Posts: 1,656 Rep Power: 63 System Specs	I preferred the first half. __________________

Aug 24, 2006, 10:19 PM	#13
SFOSOK 939 Goin Strong Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ontario Posts: 7,033 Rep Power: 90 System Specs	Neither seemed funny to me at all. I don't know why. __________________ Warning - Explicit Content Preceeding METAL!!