Dating in America (more humour)

Falstaff · Nov 13, 2006, 06:52 AM

[COLOR=black]DATING RITUALS[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]WHITE WOMEN[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Third date: You get to have sex,[/COLOR][COLOR=black]but only in the missionary position. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]IRISH WOMEN[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]ITALIAN WOMEN[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]6th Anniversary:[/COLOR][COLOR=black] You find yourself a girlfriend. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]JEWISH WOMEN[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]First Date: You get dynamite head.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Second Date: You get more great head. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]CHINESE WOMEN [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]First date:[/COLOR][COLOR=black] You get to buy her an expensive dinner,but nothing happens. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]INDIAN WOMEN[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]First date: Meet her parents. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Second date: Set the date of the wedding. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Third date: Wedding night. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]BLACK WOMEN[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriendsa real expensive dinner. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Third Date: You get to pay her rent. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]MEXICAN WOMEN[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Second Date: She's pregnant. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Third Date: She moves in. One week later ~ her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, [/COLOR][COLOR=black]but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]The POINT?[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000](hope I havent pissed to many people off, this came from Duncan, the bartender at the Cock and Bull, a local pub)[/COLOR]

Geminiwave · Nov 13, 2006, 08:06 AM

Quote:

WHITE WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex,but only in the missionary position.

true.

Quote:

ITALIAN WOMEN

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.

VERY TRUE

Quote:

JEWISH WOMEN

First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again

VERY VERY VERY VERY TRUE!

cept in my case I said I'd go out with her and I never got head again.

but yea I have experience with those three types. The other examples I have not seen happen but then again I'm young enough that marriage doesn't come into play so much. Though there was one girl who basically decided we were gunna get married...when I was 16... *shudder*

damn thats funny though Jeff

TJ- · Nov 13, 2006, 08:40 AM

were talking about women gemini, not guys rofl

**temeteus82** · Nov 13, 2006, 10:25 AM

Jeff, you forgot the Icelandic women

SFOSOK · Nov 13, 2006, 01:28 PM

A lot of that is true except about Irish-American Women.

niceguyrichy · Nov 13, 2006, 04:19 PM

Quote:

the bartender at the Cock and Bull, a local pub

mmm, we have a Cock & Bull about an hour down the road.
wins awards and stuff for it's food (been there a few times, it is kinda nice, but hellish expensive)

Drakon · Nov 13, 2006, 04:27 PM

I guess I need to pencil in Ireland on my list of places to visit

Falstaff · Nov 13, 2006, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drakon

I guess I need to pencil in Ireland on my list of places to visit

yes you must you anglican warrior

Falstaff · Nov 13, 2006, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by temeteus82

Jeff, you forgot the Icelandic women

that comes under the heading of goddess really...Icelandic women are gorgeous..really!!

Sandok · Nov 13, 2006, 07:42 PM

What? I just went blind mate... Nasty!

Maddogg6 · Nov 13, 2006, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falstaff

that comes under the heading of goddess really...Icelandic women are gorgeous..really!!

At first glance - she looks like Alicia Silverstone... who would this gal be?

**temeteus82** · Nov 13, 2006, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falstaff

that comes under the heading of goddess really...Icelandic women are gorgeous..really!!

I know, about one year ago I was working in this theater festival called Baltic Circle. And there was this group from Iceland and man their cellist was gorgeous.

And man she was real party animal... Ask Mr. Tarantino about that part

SFOSOK · Nov 13, 2006, 10:04 PM

Her eyes are too big. She also looks dead.

TheBlackCat · Nov 14, 2006, 12:34 AM

She looks bored. I don't think this is doing it for her.

~~bobbytomorow~~ · Nov 14, 2006, 03:56 AM

haha........wot iz dating mean :s

Falstaff · Nov 14, 2006, 05:52 AM

Okay guys, it had to be cropped of course, but she is rather...welll...busy at the moment...LOL

Drakon · Nov 14, 2006, 06:09 AM

Can you pm me the uncropped version, jeff

**temeteus82** · Nov 14, 2006, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drakon

Can you pm me the uncropped version, jeff

same here

Falstaff · Nov 14, 2006, 10:52 AM

Gents, I am on a RAF managed computer most of the time, this might have to wait a bit, as I have to use it at my cubicle..dont want to risk my task manager getting any naughty bits on his audit...sorry

I can load this of my flash drive though

SFOSOK · Nov 14, 2006, 11:04 AM

That is a very good drawing. You are talented Jeff.

I think it would be more my taste if it was cropped with only her head and shoulders.

TJ- · Nov 14, 2006, 11:27 AM

id hit it, shes hot!

dsdsdk · Nov 14, 2006, 02:02 PM

Arab Women:
Take "Indian Women" 1-3 and add "Mexican Women" 2nd & 3rd date.

**temeteus82** · Nov 14, 2006, 11:01 PM

Buy the way Jeff you've heard about laptops

Sounds to me that you need one

Nov 13, 2006, 06:52 AM	#1
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,047 Rep Power: 206	Dating in America (more humour) *[COLOR=black]DATING RITUALS[/COLOR]* [COLOR=black][/COLOR] *[COLOR=black]WHITE WOMEN[/COLOR]* [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Third date: You get to have sex,[/COLOR][COLOR=black]but only in the missionary position. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] *[COLOR=black]IRISH WOMEN[/COLOR]* [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] *[COLOR=black]ITALIAN WOMEN[/COLOR]* [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]6th Anniversary:[/COLOR][COLOR=black] You find yourself a girlfriend. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] *[COLOR=black]JEWISH WOMEN[/COLOR]* [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]First Date: You get dynamite head.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Second Date: You get more great head. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]*CHINESE WOMEN* [/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]First date:[/COLOR][COLOR=black] You get to buy her an expensive dinner,but nothing happens. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] *[COLOR=black]INDIAN WOMEN[/COLOR]* [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]First date: Meet her parents. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Second date: Set the date of the wedding. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Third date: Wedding night. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] *[COLOR=black]BLACK WOMEN[/COLOR]* [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriendsa real expensive dinner. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Third Date: You get to pay her rent. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] *[COLOR=black]MEXICAN WOMEN[/COLOR]* [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Second Date: She's pregnant. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Third Date: She moves in. One week later ~ her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, [/COLOR][COLOR=black]but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]The POINT?[/COLOR] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black]DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?[/COLOR] *[COLOR=#000000][/COLOR]* *[COLOR=#000000](hope I havent pissed to many people off, this came from Duncan, the bartender at the Cock and Bull, a local pub)[/COLOR]* __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Nov 13, 2006, 08:40 AM	#3
TJ- DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Infinity Posts: 3,679 Rep Power: 0	were talking about women gemini, not guys rofl __________________ new sig comming soon

Nov 13, 2006, 01:28 PM	#5
SFOSOK 939 Goin Strong Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ontario Posts: 7,033 Rep Power: 89 System Specs	A lot of that is true except about Irish-American Women. __________________ Warning - Explicit Content Preceeding METAL!!

Nov 13, 2006, 10:04 PM	#13
SFOSOK 939 Goin Strong Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ontario Posts: 7,033 Rep Power: 89 System Specs	Her eyes are too big. She also looks dead. __________________ Warning - Explicit Content Preceeding METAL!!

Nov 14, 2006, 12:34 AM	#14
TheBlackCat DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Searching for the Candle in the Dark Posts: 567 Rep Power: 0	She looks bored. I don't think this is doing it for her. __________________ [color=#000000]There is always an easy solution to every human problem—neat, plausible and wrong.[/color] -H. L. Mencken

Nov 13, 2006, 04:27 PM	#7
Drakon DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Floatin'... Posts: 4,957 Rep Power: 56	I guess I need to pencil in Ireland on my list of places to visit

Nov 13, 2006, 07:42 PM	#10
Sandok DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 9,472 Rep Power: 66	What? I just went blind mate... Nasty!

Nov 14, 2006, 03:56 AM	#15
~~bobbytomorow~~ Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: vancouver Posts: 450 Rep Power: 0	haha........wot iz dating mean :s

Nov 14, 2006, 05:52 AM	Thread Starter #16
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,047 Rep Power: 206	Okay guys, it had to be cropped of course, but she is rather...welll...busy at the moment...LOL __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Nov 14, 2006, 06:09 AM	#17
Drakon DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Floatin'... Posts: 4,957 Rep Power: 56	Can you pm me the uncropped version, jeff

Nov 14, 2006, 10:52 AM	Thread Starter #19
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,047 Rep Power: 206	Gents, I am on a RAF managed computer most of the time, this might have to wait a bit, as I have to use it at my cubicle..dont want to risk my task manager getting any naughty bits on his audit...sorry I can load this of my flash drive though __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Nov 14, 2006, 11:04 AM	#20
SFOSOK 939 Goin Strong Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ontario Posts: 7,033 Rep Power: 89 System Specs	That is a very good drawing. You are talented Jeff. I think it would be more my taste if it was cropped with only her head and shoulders. __________________ Warning - Explicit Content Preceeding METAL!!

Nov 14, 2006, 11:27 AM	#21
TJ- DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Infinity Posts: 3,679 Rep Power: 0	id hit it, shes hot! __________________ new sig comming soon

Nov 14, 2006, 02:02 PM	#22
dsdsdk DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Denmark, CPH. Posts: 586 Rep Power: 0 System Specs	Arab Women: Take "Indian Women" 1-3 and add "Mexican Women" 2nd & 3rd date. __________________ No more Kitty!