For once in my life, I'm sadened, and just over all worried/concerned.

MrSpock2002 · Feb 4, 2007, 12:17 AM

Well,
About 2 years ago me and this girl met in Star Wars Galaxies. We became very close, and I basically packed up sold most of my stuff, and moved to Norway to be with her. I proposed, and we were to be married around this time this year. But we split, basically the only reason was she wanted kids, and I cant have any due to a genetic syndrome. So we broke it off, but remained friends, that changed when I started to not trust her, and her me. We both did a few things that we do/but not regret.

Well she just emailed me saying she was moving to the States (shockingly enough in Syracuse, where I flew out to see her 3 times) and will be about an hour away from me. She met this guy in Everquest 2... And she wants to visit him, and move here with him in September. All ofa sudden I'm a bit jealous, and sad. I guess I would have never imagined she would move here, let alone meet someone who's an hour away from me. Ironicly she will be flying in to the airport I fluently flew out of to go to Norway.

I'm happy for her, but at the same time pissed, and sad... This is going to be very difficult to get over, because I still have feelings for her, but I don't think she does me. Since she would be so close to me, I want to visit her, but I know that can't happen. Life just got difficult for me yet again...

MrSpock2002 · Feb 4, 2007, 12:20 AM

After reading what I just wrote this sounds like a Soap Opera... Sure is a fucking strange story... I just wished to bloody hell it wasnt true.

OmegaRED · Feb 4, 2007, 01:07 AM

I'd like to say I'm surprised but I knew a guy that also flew out to Norway to meet some chick he met on the internet I dunno how it turned out but something tells me Norwegian chicks should be avoided.

MrSpock2002 · Feb 4, 2007, 01:11 AM

Amen to that.

BlueMak · Feb 4, 2007, 01:22 AM

That sucks. I know how you feel. Swallow your pride and move on. There is nothing you can do to change things.

What would Mr. Spock say?

Guyver2K5 · Feb 4, 2007, 01:28 AM

ya move on, who hooks up wit guys on videogames? lol

Dowaco · Feb 4, 2007, 01:51 AM

Adoption?
Sperm doner?

If you two are in love then there are ways to get around the children issue.
Good Luck

SFOSOK · Feb 4, 2007, 04:46 AM

Sucks bro, there is no such thing as true love. Only something we decieve ourselves into believing to make something look better than it is. Love is created through hard work, respect, trust, and being able to accept someone for who they are and their problems. There are no perfect relationships, if it seems perfect then the relationship that is because you are decieving yourself instead of coping with the problems that are present. You guys didn't split because you could not give her kids, she left you because she didn't love you anymore and that is a hard thing to swallow.

Humans are imperfect and must suffer through tragedy because of it but without this tragedy we wouldn't be strong enough to be classified as human.

It hurts, I know. Some people know what the void is like though nothing anyone says or does will make it better. You will just have to keep goin and hope things will get better though they may even get worse. You need this to learn, I think all people do at least once in their lifetime to wake up from their dream they have been living and get their head on straight.

If you want my advice it follows:

Tell her you can't be her friend. Stop talking to her completely at least until you can get over it (because obviously you are not). Your friendship will fail and reap no rewards to either of you if you still feel the way you do about her.

It takes a while to heal but don't look to heal or force yourself. Some wound snever heal but at least your feelings for her can be severed over time.

GL, hope this helps.

Drakon · Feb 4, 2007, 05:00 AM

Quote:

I'm happy for her, but at the same time pissed, and sad... This is going to be very difficult to get over, because I still have feelings for her, but I don't think she does me. Since she would be so close to me, I want to visit her, but I know that can't happen.

You don't think she still has feelings for you? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, bud, but if this chick is telling you that she met some other guy, and is planning to visit and move in with him, then what she's REALLY saying is her feelings for you are NIL!!! Like the others said, I'd just accept the fact that it's over, move on, and have absolutely no contact with her; no emails, no text messages, phone calls etc.

SFOSOK · Feb 4, 2007, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drakon

You don't think she still has feelings for you? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, bud, but if this chick is telling you that she met some other guy, and is planning to visit and move in with him, then what she's REALLY saying is her feelings for you are NIL!!! Like the others said, I'd just accept the fact that it's over, move on, and have absolutely no contact with her; no emails, no text messages, phone calls etc.

One thing that should be established is that women do not handle emotions the same as men do. We hold on to them and have trouble releasing them while they have the ability to express and release them.

I think you could find that more men commit suicide then woman and suffer more from emotional distress. In society men are not given the tools to release their emotion and are thus more inclined break under it. Also men are expected to be "strong".

Thing is, she does not and will not ever feel the same way for you she did before, she is over it and you won't be for a while and may still feel something for her for the rest of your life.

So you can:

A) Try to fix it and fuck it up so much that you will be hurt from her for the rest of your life.

B) Suck it up, ditch the bitch and get on with your life.

"Happiness cannot be replaced, only filled with something else"
-Me

Commit yourself to work, school, (not games) anything and everything productive. The more you waste time thinking about it and feeling sorry for yourself the farther you will fall and the more pathetic and dependant you will become.

Edit: Above all do not rush into another relationship. If you don't deal with this shit and run away you will never achieve independance.

MrSpock2002 · Feb 4, 2007, 06:43 AM

Thank you for the advice guys. I graduated with my AS in Liberal Arts a few years ago, but couldn't go on at the time, due to a Genetic Syndrome. (That's why I can't have kids). In that time, I was put on dissability. But I'm hoping when I do finish college I can atleast teach part time. I am going back to college this fall to get my BA in History, then work on my Masters. I'm going to put college first, I think it will help me out with stress, and just give me somthing to do. I've been through alot with my health, more then most people do in an entire lifetime. I've been through a dozen operations for various things. Luckaly what I do have isn't life threatning so long as I keep ontop of it at all times. I really don't have any feelings for her any longer. I thought I did for the longest time, yes I miss how it was, hell I even miss our time together, including living in Norway. But in the end it has made me a stronger person. She was my first real relationship, and my first love. But the more I think about it the happier I am not being with her any longer. It may have made me a bit bitter, but I think that's what's keeping me in check.

I'm dropping the bitch faster then a hot potato. I don't wish her a life of sorrow, but at the same time I do. That's one thing about me, I am a very vandictive person.

BlueMak · Feb 4, 2007, 10:36 AM

Live long and...suffer? lol

Falstaff · Feb 4, 2007, 11:22 AM

giving up on the idea that love is real is not a good choice IMO, better to try to love, to give and learn and to live, than to wither in emotional decay. No man or woman is an island, so be careful, dont give up on the search.
I know that nothing is forever, but at least I can find my solace in knowing that someone loves me in return, thats something really...
How many of us were not in love, but fascinated by the idea of being in love. Hold fast and true to yourself, love yourself and you can love others that is what I say, but know yourself. We all learn from love as we do from pain.

RoyBatty · Feb 4, 2007, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMak

Live long and...suffer? lol

(sorry for off-topic)

Sandok · Feb 4, 2007, 04:47 PM

Avoid woman my friend...

One nite stands are all you need! Relationships are just too problematic...

Well, that's what I do... I can't do relationships...

SFOSOK · Feb 4, 2007, 05:58 PM

You risk more from relationship but gain a hell of a lot more than you risk. You can also lose a lot though.

Just don't rush into a new relationship for the wrong reasons or decieve yourself that you are doing it for the right reasons.

BlueMak · Feb 4, 2007, 06:58 PM

It is easy to get into a good relationship. Expect nothing, hell, even expect the worst, so whatever happens you are still ok. :-p
If you get into a relationship thinking that she is going to at least go with other guys, you will be fine if something goes wrong.

MrSpock2002 · Feb 4, 2007, 07:53 PM

Well the women where I come from are nasty. All are whores, and that's not a joke. I live in a small upstate NY town. I swear every girl has slept around with every guy for the most part. I guess that's why I thought a relationship from another country would be cool. I'm happy with the time I had with her though, because it really opened my eyes up to the world, I got to see a whole new culture, etc. It was very exciting to me. Hell one day in the near future I may visit Norway again, as there are lots of places there I'd love to see. I'm also planning a trip to Australia to see one of my closest friends. We've been playing EVE together since 2003, and have a couple of hundred hours logged on the phone chatting etc. (It's a guy so no funny ideas!). Also my very best friend from Highschool moved to China, so I'm definatly going to go there to visit him.

ferret2004 · Feb 5, 2007, 09:41 PM

Internet girls are nuts! Avoid them!

Judas · Feb 6, 2007, 05:02 PM

a series of unfortuneate events...

sorry to hear the dilemas and issues...

Feb 4, 2007, 12:17 AM	#1
MrSpock2002 Because I said so! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Watkins Glen NY Posts: 542 Rep Power: 0	For once in my life, I'm sadened, and just over all worried/concerned. Well, About 2 years ago me and this girl met in Star Wars Galaxies. We became very close, and I basically packed up sold most of my stuff, and moved to Norway to be with her. I proposed, and we were to be married around this time this year. But we split, basically the only reason was she wanted kids, and I cant have any due to a genetic syndrome. So we broke it off, but remained friends, that changed when I started to not trust her, and her me. We both did a few things that we do/but not regret. Well she just emailed me saying she was moving to the States (shockingly enough in Syracuse, where I flew out to see her 3 times) and will be about an hour away from me. She met this guy in Everquest 2... And she wants to visit him, and move here with him in September. All ofa sudden I'm a bit jealous, and sad. I guess I would have never imagined she would move here, let alone meet someone who's an hour away from me. Ironicly she will be flying in to the airport I fluently flew out of to go to Norway. I'm happy for her, but at the same time pissed, and sad... This is going to be very difficult to get over, because I still have feelings for her, but I don't think she does me. Since she would be so close to me, I want to visit her, but I know that can't happen. Life just got difficult for me yet again...

Feb 4, 2007, 01:07 AM	#3
OmegaRED Relapsed Gamer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ottawa , Canada Posts: 5,688 Rep Power: 173 System Specs	I'd like to say I'm surprised but I knew a guy that also flew out to Norway to meet some chick he met on the internet I dunno how it turned out but something tells me Norwegian chicks should be avoided. __________________ E Penis Specs: <------------- See System Specs

Feb 4, 2007, 01:22 AM	#5
BlueMak HH's Asteroids' Dominator Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Hellas->Macedonia->Thessaloniki Posts: 13,471 Rep Power: 349 System Specs	That sucks. I know how you feel. Swallow your pride and move on. There is nothing you can do to change things. What would Mr. Spock say? __________________ The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others(Bertrand Russell)"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil,You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them." - Lt. Gen. James N. Mattis This is slavery, not to speak one's thought. [Euripides-The Phoenician Women (c.411-409 B.C.)] http://www.macedonia.info/FALLACIESANDFACTS.htm *Sic semper tyrannis.*

Feb 4, 2007, 01:28 AM	#6
Guyver2K5 Don't make me hungry. Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Weyburn, Saskatchewan Posts: 4,319 Rep Power: 0	ya move on, who hooks up wit guys on videogames? lol __________________ *BlackberryPin-*31E36989

Feb 4, 2007, 01:51 AM	#7
Dowaco DriverHeaven Lover Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: East Coast, USA Posts: 217 Rep Power: 0	Adoption? Sperm doner? If you two are in love then there are ways to get around the children issue. Good Luck __________________ The above is my opinion and in no way reflects the views of this website.

Feb 4, 2007, 12:20 AM	Thread Starter #2
MrSpock2002 Because I said so! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Watkins Glen NY Posts: 542 Rep Power: 0	After reading what I just wrote this sounds like a Soap Opera... Sure is a fucking strange story... I just wished to bloody hell it wasnt true.

Feb 4, 2007, 01:11 AM	Thread Starter #4
MrSpock2002 Because I said so! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Watkins Glen NY Posts: 542 Rep Power: 0	Amen to that.

Feb 4, 2007, 04:46 AM	#8
SFOSOK 939 Goin Strong Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ontario Posts: 7,033 Rep Power: 90 System Specs	Sucks bro, there is no such thing as true love. Only something we decieve ourselves into believing to make something look better than it is. Love is created through hard work, respect, trust, and being able to accept someone for who they are and their problems. There are no perfect relationships, if it seems perfect then the relationship that is because you are decieving yourself instead of coping with the problems that are present. You guys didn't split because you could not give her kids, she left you because she didn't love you anymore and that is a hard thing to swallow. Humans are imperfect and must suffer through tragedy because of it but without this tragedy we wouldn't be strong enough to be classified as human. It hurts, I know. Some people know what the void is like though nothing anyone says or does will make it better. You will just have to keep goin and hope things will get better though they may even get worse. You need this to learn, I think all people do at least once in their lifetime to wake up from their dream they have been living and get their head on straight. If you want my advice it follows: Tell her you can't be her friend. Stop talking to her completely at least until you can get over it (because obviously you are not). Your friendship will fail and reap no rewards to either of you if you still feel the way you do about her. It takes a while to heal but don't look to heal or force yourself. Some wound snever heal but at least your feelings for her can be severed over time. GL, hope this helps. __________________ Warning - Explicit Content Preceeding METAL!!

Feb 4, 2007, 06:43 AM	Thread Starter #11
MrSpock2002 Because I said so! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Watkins Glen NY Posts: 542 Rep Power: 0	Thank you for the advice guys. I graduated with my AS in Liberal Arts a few years ago, but couldn't go on at the time, due to a Genetic Syndrome. (That's why I can't have kids). In that time, I was put on dissability. But I'm hoping when I do finish college I can atleast teach part time. I am going back to college this fall to get my BA in History, then work on my Masters. I'm going to put college first, I think it will help me out with stress, and just give me somthing to do. I've been through alot with my health, more then most people do in an entire lifetime. I've been through a dozen operations for various things. Luckaly what I do have isn't life threatning so long as I keep ontop of it at all times. I really don't have any feelings for her any longer. I thought I did for the longest time, yes I miss how it was, hell I even miss our time together, including living in Norway. But in the end it has made me a stronger person. She was my first real relationship, and my first love. But the more I think about it the happier I am not being with her any longer. It may have made me a bit bitter, but I think that's what's keeping me in check. I'm dropping the bitch faster then a hot potato. I don't wish her a life of sorrow, but at the same time I do. That's one thing about me, I am a very vandictive person.

Feb 4, 2007, 10:36 AM	#12
BlueMak HH's Asteroids' Dominator Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Hellas->Macedonia->Thessaloniki Posts: 13,471 Rep Power: 349 System Specs	Live long and...suffer? lol __________________ The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others(Bertrand Russell)"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil,You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them." - Lt. Gen. James N. Mattis This is slavery, not to speak one's thought. [Euripides-The Phoenician Women (c.411-409 B.C.)] http://www.macedonia.info/FALLACIESANDFACTS.htm *Sic semper tyrannis.*

Feb 4, 2007, 11:22 AM	#13
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	giving up on the idea that love is real is not a good choice IMO, better to try to love, to give and learn and to live, than to wither in emotional decay. No man or woman is an island, so be careful, dont give up on the search. I know that nothing is forever, but at least I can find my solace in knowing that someone loves me in return, thats something really... How many of us were not in love, but fascinated by the idea of being in love. Hold fast and true to yourself, love yourself and you can love others that is what I say, but know yourself. We all learn from love as we do from pain. __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Feb 4, 2007, 04:47 PM	#15
Sandok DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 9,472 Rep Power: 0	Avoid woman my friend... One nite stands are all you need! Relationships are just too problematic... Well, that's what I do... I can't do relationships...

Feb 4, 2007, 05:58 PM	#16
SFOSOK 939 Goin Strong Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ontario Posts: 7,033 Rep Power: 90 System Specs	You risk more from relationship but gain a hell of a lot more than you risk. You can also lose a lot though. Just don't rush into a new relationship for the wrong reasons or decieve yourself that you are doing it for the right reasons. __________________ Warning - Explicit Content Preceeding METAL!!

Feb 4, 2007, 06:58 PM	#17
BlueMak HH's Asteroids' Dominator Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Hellas->Macedonia->Thessaloniki Posts: 13,471 Rep Power: 349 System Specs	It is easy to get into a good relationship. Expect nothing, hell, even expect the worst, so whatever happens you are still ok. :-p If you get into a relationship thinking that she is going to at least go with other guys, you will be fine if something goes wrong. __________________ The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others(Bertrand Russell)"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil,You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them." - Lt. Gen. James N. Mattis This is slavery, not to speak one's thought. [Euripides-The Phoenician Women (c.411-409 B.C.)] http://www.macedonia.info/FALLACIESANDFACTS.htm *Sic semper tyrannis.*

Feb 4, 2007, 07:53 PM	Thread Starter #18
MrSpock2002 Because I said so! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Watkins Glen NY Posts: 542 Rep Power: 0	Well the women where I come from are nasty. All are whores, and that's not a joke. I live in a small upstate NY town. I swear every girl has slept around with every guy for the most part. I guess that's why I thought a relationship from another country would be cool. I'm happy with the time I had with her though, because it really opened my eyes up to the world, I got to see a whole new culture, etc. It was very exciting to me. Hell one day in the near future I may visit Norway again, as there are lots of places there I'd love to see. I'm also planning a trip to Australia to see one of my closest friends. We've been playing EVE together since 2003, and have a couple of hundred hours logged on the phone chatting etc. (It's a guy so no funny ideas!). Also my very best friend from Highschool moved to China, so I'm definatly going to go there to visit him.

Feb 5, 2007, 09:41 PM	#19
ferret2004 HardwareHeaven Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Ohio, USA Posts: 285 Rep Power: 0	Internet girls are nuts! Avoid them!