sample of court record between lawyer and witness (humour)

Falstaff · Apr 23, 2008, 07:41 PM

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law.

BlueMak · Apr 23, 2008, 08:16 PM

I never got the hatred towards lawyers, but, funny.

Tril · Apr 23, 2008, 11:15 PM

Falstaff, you should do a search before you post. It's been posted a few times already.

Mr cairo · Apr 24, 2008, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tril

Falstaff, you should do a search before you post. It's been posted a few times already.

but what is he to search on ... some simple search Queries

court record - 112 search results

lawyer and witness - Ok only 7 results but one of those is 500+ posts is he to check every one

Doctor - 300 results ... wont even bother looking in there

Blood Pressure - 80 results ...pheww that narrowed it down

Autopsy - 20 results and about halfway down i find a previous posting of this joke ... but so what it was funny and be honest does everyone have to do a 15 minute search for a possible earlier posting just to post a 10 second joke

Tril · Apr 24, 2008, 01:02 PM

Don't take it like that. I was joking.

Falstaff is free to repost any joke, any time. He's doing an honest effort to entertain us and I usually like his jokes. I like this one too.

Mr cairo · Apr 24, 2008, 01:38 PM

Fair enough

Markius · Apr 25, 2008, 06:39 AM

i agree most of the stuff falstaff posts humor wise is funny.

thx again for another laugh mate

Apr 23, 2008, 07:41 PM	#1
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	sample of court record between lawyer and witness (humour) ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Apr 23, 2008, 08:16 PM	#2
BlueMak HH's Asteroids' Dominator Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Hellas->Macedonia->Thessaloniki Posts: 13,465 Rep Power: 349 System Specs	I never got the hatred towards lawyers, but, funny. __________________ The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others(Bertrand Russell)"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil,You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them." - Lt. Gen. James N. Mattis This is slavery, not to speak one's thought. [Euripides-The Phoenician Women (c.411-409 B.C.)] http://www.macedonia.info/FALLACIESANDFACTS.htm *Sic semper tyrannis.*

Apr 24, 2008, 01:38 PM	#6
Mr cairo F0rum For Humans Only Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Slightly to the left Posts: 1,780 Rep Power: 92 System Specs	Fair enough __________________ *Please consider Sponsoring my wife for the race for life*

Apr 25, 2008, 06:39 AM	#7
Markius DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 2,350 Rep Power: 0	i agree most of the stuff falstaff posts humor wise is funny. thx again for another laugh mate __________________ DriverHeavens Aussie... "Lifes tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late"

Apr 23, 2008, 11:15 PM	#3
Tril S-3D enthusiast Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 1,676 Rep Power: 64 System Specs	Falstaff, you should do a search before you post. It's been posted a few times already.

Apr 24, 2008, 01:02 PM	#5
Tril S-3D enthusiast Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 1,676 Rep Power: 64 System Specs	Don't take it like that. I was joking. Falstaff is free to repost any joke, any time. He's doing an honest effort to entertain us and I usually like his jokes. I like this one too.