Canadian joke

Falstaff · Aug 20, 2008, 07:28 PM

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either a Leafs or Jays fan. What team, do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan." the child said.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French Bastard from Montreal Kills Beloved Family Pet."

A French guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!"

A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"

"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.

"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."

He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."

What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common?
The taste.

BlueMak · Aug 20, 2008, 08:03 PM

Funny.

Judas · Aug 20, 2008, 10:02 PM

lawl..

cozumel · Aug 21, 2008, 12:23 AM

I really like the french guest in the hotel joke. I love that type of stuff. Jacques Clouseau style

OmegaRED · Aug 21, 2008, 02:12 AM

Not bad, not bad at all.

CDsDontBurn · Aug 21, 2008, 04:46 AM

i like the accident one best

**kris23** · Aug 21, 2008, 04:49 AM

niiice

Aug 20, 2008, 07:28 PM	#1
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	Canadian joke Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either a Leafs or Jays fan. What team, do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French Bastard from Montreal Kills Beloved Family Pet." A French guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?" "Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave. "Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade." An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth." He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here." "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his." What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common? The taste. __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Aug 20, 2008, 08:03 PM	#2
BlueMak HH's Asteroids' Dominator Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Hellas->Macedonia->Thessaloniki Posts: 13,474 Rep Power: 349 System Specs	Funny. __________________ The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others(Bertrand Russell)"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil,You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them." - Lt. Gen. James N. Mattis This is slavery, not to speak one's thought. [Euripides-The Phoenician Women (c.411-409 B.C.)] http://www.macedonia.info/FALLACIESANDFACTS.htm *Sic semper tyrannis.*

Aug 21, 2008, 12:23 AM	#4
cozumel I'm dangerous but cute... Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Under the waves... Posts: 3,577 Rep Power: 60 System Specs	I really like the french guest in the hotel joke. I love that type of stuff. Jacques Clouseau style __________________ Don't worry about money - Be a beach bum! Scuba Rocks

Aug 21, 2008, 02:12 AM	#5
OmegaRED Relapsed Gamer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ottawa , Canada Posts: 5,688 Rep Power: 173 System Specs	Not bad, not bad at all. __________________ E Penis Specs: <------------- See System Specs

Aug 21, 2008, 04:46 AM	#6
CDsDontBurn Lurking DriverHeaven Join Date: May 2003 Location: Southern California Posts: 22,795 Rep Power: 235 System Specs	i like the accident one best __________________ Her First Day \| A year later

Aug 21, 2008, 04:49 AM	#7
kris23 Going Insane..... Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 6,019 Rep Power: 131 System Specs	niiice __________________ Hardwareheaven Super-Moderator Building a new computer system and not sure where to start? Click Here! last updated (5/18/11) Rosewill FUTURE case replaces CM 690 II with its greater interior length. Building a PC: Step by Step Guide Written by Kristopher Pedemonte and Nathan Marks-Forder Edited by Allan Campbell Questions or Comments? feel free to post them in the forums!