4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:)

mike2h · Dec 6, 2008, 08:29 PM

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
I know you'll forgive me.' She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.-------------------------------------------------------------------------
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.

The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'The husband, rejected, turns over.A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?''Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.'Yes, I did.' he replied. 'My God, Bill, what happened?'I got fired.'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?''Oh...she got fired too.'

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.''I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.''Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.''I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal

marwinek · Dec 6, 2008, 08:34 PM

rofl

**Mousey** · Dec 6, 2008, 10:13 PM

true classics, the coffee and oatmeal one cracked me up

mike2h · Dec 6, 2008, 10:17 PM

that was my fav to

IvanV · Dec 6, 2008, 11:02 PM

Falstaff posted the last one three days ago (topic "Geriatric humor"), but I didn't know the first three and each gave me a nica chuckle.

mike2h · Dec 6, 2008, 11:07 PM

i dont think jeff was posting it as joke, think he was telling a personal story

Valdeam · Dec 7, 2008, 04:23 AM

LMAO! I love the last one

CDsDontBurn · Dec 7, 2008, 05:53 AM

those are just comedy!

TomLeggett · Dec 7, 2008, 07:00 AM

Thoes are REAL good!!!

GigaWatt · Dec 7, 2008, 05:08 PM

hahahahha

, the first one was GREAT... hahahahahhaha

***craig5320*** · Dec 8, 2008, 03:10 PM

Loving the pickle slicer joke.

trapezoid · Dec 8, 2008, 03:37 PM

I hadn't heard the first 2 before -those were great!

drivehard454 · Dec 9, 2008, 12:42 AM

Good ones.

charm_quark · Dec 10, 2008, 05:21 PM

funny really funny

Dec 6, 2008, 08:29 PM	#1
mike2h DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: norcal Posts: 6,483 Rep Power: 91 System Specs	4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.' She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.------------------------------------------------------------------------- One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'The husband, rejected, turns over.A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked. 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?''Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.'Yes, I did.' he replied. 'My God, Bill, what happened?'I got fired.'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?''Oh...she got fired too.' A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.''I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.''Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.''I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal __________________ Last edited by mike2h; Dec 6, 2008 at 08:36 PM.

Dec 6, 2008, 08:34 PM	#2
marwinek DriverHeaven Newbie Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1 Rep Power: 0	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) rofl

Dec 6, 2008, 10:13 PM	#3
Mousey Synth's Long Lost Bro Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Web Design Hell Posts: 7,189 Rep Power: 245 System Specs	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) true classics, the coffee and oatmeal one cracked me up __________________

Dec 6, 2008, 10:17 PM	Thread Starter #4
mike2h DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: norcal Posts: 6,483 Rep Power: 91 System Specs	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) that was my fav to __________________

Dec 6, 2008, 11:02 PM	#5
IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 5,917 Rep Power: 336 System Specs	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) Falstaff posted the last one three days ago (topic "Geriatric humor"), but I didn't know the first three and each gave me a nica chuckle. __________________ If anyone has Portal 2 and hasn't played the co-op and wants to do me a favour, let me know (PM me or whatever).

Dec 6, 2008, 11:07 PM	Thread Starter #6
mike2h DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: norcal Posts: 6,483 Rep Power: 91 System Specs	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) i dont think jeff was posting it as joke, think he was telling a personal story __________________

Dec 7, 2008, 04:23 AM	#7
Valdeam DriverHeaven Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 50 Rep Power: 0	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) LMAO! I love the last one __________________ "If you always do what you've always done, how can you ever be any better than you've always been?"

Dec 7, 2008, 05:53 AM	#8
CDsDontBurn Lurking DriverHeaven Join Date: May 2003 Location: Southern California Posts: 22,795 Rep Power: 235 System Specs	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) those are just comedy! __________________ Her First Day \| A year later

Dec 7, 2008, 07:00 AM	#9
TomLeggett DriverHeaven Lover Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 132 Rep Power: 0 System Specs	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) Thoes are REAL good!!! __________________ Where can i download a life??

Dec 7, 2008, 05:08 PM	#10
GigaWatt Now In Color :D Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Macedonia, Skopje Posts: 2,116 Rep Power: 81 System Specs	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) hahahahha , the first one was GREAT... hahahahahhaha __________________ It's not schisophrenia... it's just a voice in my head...

Dec 8, 2008, 03:10 PM	#11
*craig5320* HH Administrator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 8,573 Rep Power: 445 System Specs	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) Loving the pickle slicer joke. __________________ HardwareHeaven on Facebook

Dec 8, 2008, 03:37 PM	#12
trapezoid DriverHeaven Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 52 Rep Power: 0	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) I hadn't heard the first 2 before -those were great! __________________

Dec 9, 2008, 12:42 AM	#13
drivehard454 HardwareHeaven Addict Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 324 Rep Power: 0 System Specs	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) Good ones.

Dec 10, 2008, 05:21 PM	#14
charm_quark incognito Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: BoTsWaNa Posts: 2,437 Rep Power: 140	Re: 4 jokes u all prolly heard but what the hell:) funny really funny