[Dyre Straits]

The Man Rules
*******************

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear ' the rules '
from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving i t.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,'
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
you are prepared to discuss such topics as
Motorcars , or Football
or golf, or Darts etc.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round I S a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[TomLeggett]

haha those are good =)

[Dyre Straits]

Originally Posted by TomLeggett

haha those are good =)

I thought so, too.

And, if any of the lovely ladies come here complaining, simply tell them to re-read Rule #1.

[GigaWatt]

Originally Posted by Dyre Straits

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

hahahahahahah , the last two... HILARIOUS, hahahahhaha

[Rahazan]

Originally Posted by GigaWatt

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

[Mousey]

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

The ultimate governing law for all males.

[DJ BIG T]

i love the #1 rule!!!

[Cow_160483]

Originally Posted by Dyre Straits

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

these three got me loling, coz they are so true
I have printed it out and will be giving it to my girlfriend; hope i wont be spending the night camping on the couch!!

[GigaWatt]

Originally Posted by Cow_160483

I have printed it out and will be giving it to my girlfriend; hope i wont be spending the night camping on the couch!!

don't be so sure about that... women get pissed about these sorts of things... especially if you give it to her as a gift... hahahahhaha

[Knight_Breed]

Those are all good Dyre and on the first number one isn't that so true !

I just flat out told the woman I am dating right now men are no good at playing "Guess whats wrong". So if something is bothering you tell me or hit me with something I am a man

[Cow_160483]

Originally Posted by GigaWatt

don't be so sure about that... women get pissed about these sorts of things... especially if you give it to her as a gift... hahahahhaha

Not as a gift of course but as joke that shall be referred to in the future .

[trapezoid]

That is absolutely hilarious!

[CDsDontBurn]

these are truely awesome! I shall be using some of these