Did you know..

Falstaff · Jul 21, 2009, 05:09 AM

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

MythicaL · Jul 21, 2009, 08:14 AM

All of these are great; I know a lot of things don't make sense.

For instance, here in America, violence is condoned in the media, but anything sexual to the same extreme is instantly forbidden. Boggles the mind.

CDsDontBurn · Jul 21, 2009, 07:54 PM

hahah, these are great!

Cow_160483 · Jul 22, 2009, 07:11 AM

Quote:

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

these three are definitely the funnest

GigaWatt · Jul 22, 2009, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falstaff

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

have you noticed that since the expansion of the internet, people verbally communicate less and less...?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falstaff

Life is sexually transmitted.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

these cracked me up... LOL

charm_quark · Jul 22, 2009, 04:51 PM

nice one's

SeraphicSorcerer · Jul 22, 2009, 04:54 PM

These were funny, oh yeah.

Judas · Jul 22, 2009, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falstaff

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

huh?

charm_quark · Jul 25, 2009, 12:25 PM

Quote:

three fastest means of communication
1) tele-phone
2) tele-vision
3) tell-a-girl
..... still faster; tell her not to tell anyone

a few additions

Quote:

why do you call it building when it is already built?

If it is true that we are here to help others, then what are others here for?

if you aren't supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

tastyweat · Jul 25, 2009, 09:17 PM

lol... nice one

Falstaff · Jul 25, 2009, 10:28 PM

lots of conundrums...LOL
the zen ones escape me now, but they are funny too.

Jul 21, 2009, 05:09 AM	#1
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	Did you know.. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?' If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Jul 21, 2009, 08:14 AM	#2
MythicaL I like computers. Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In front of a monitor Posts: 3,399 Rep Power: 89 System Specs	Re: Did you know.. All of these are great; I know a lot of things don't make sense. For instance, here in America, violence is condoned in the media, but anything sexual to the same extreme is instantly forbidden. Boggles the mind. __________________ Always knew I didn't belong in this world. I wasn't made for this. But I'll never forget those who betrayed me, and those who never failed my trust.

Jul 21, 2009, 07:54 PM	#3
CDsDontBurn Lurking DriverHeaven Join Date: May 2003 Location: Southern California Posts: 22,795 Rep Power: 235 System Specs	Re: Did you know.. hahah, these are great! __________________ Her First Day \| A year later

Jul 22, 2009, 04:51 PM	#6
charm_quark incognito Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: BoTsWaNa Posts: 2,437 Rep Power: 140	Re: Did you know.. nice one's __________________ Three quarks for Muster Mark! Sure he has not got much of a bark And sure any he has it's all beside the mark. —James Joyce, Finnegans Wake

Jul 22, 2009, 04:54 PM	#7
SeraphicSorcerer HardwareHeaven Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Florida Posts: 2,295 Rep Power: 156 System Specs	Re: Did you know.. These were funny, oh yeah. __________________

Jul 25, 2009, 09:17 PM	#10
tastyweat Lurking Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The void Posts: 4,794 Rep Power: 75 System Specs	Re: Did you know.. lol... nice one __________________

Jul 25, 2009, 10:28 PM	Thread Starter #11
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	Re: Did you know.. lots of conundrums...LOL the zen ones escape me now, but they are funny too. __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."