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When Grandma Goes to Court

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Old Sep 29, 2011, 05:21 AM   #1
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Big Grin When Grandma Goes to Court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.


In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."
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Old Sep 29, 2011, 08:49 AM   #2
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Re: When Grandma Goes to Court
That's a good one
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Old Sep 29, 2011, 10:48 AM   #3
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Re: When Grandma Goes to Court
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Old Sep 29, 2011, 10:23 PM   #4
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Re: When Grandma Goes to Court
amazing...
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Old Sep 29, 2011, 10:35 PM   #5
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Re: When Grandma Goes to Court
hahahah gooo granny
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Old Oct 1, 2011, 02:14 AM   #6
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Re: When Grandma Goes to Court
If any of you so much as think about asking if she knows me....
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Old Oct 1, 2011, 02:35 AM   #7
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Re: When Grandma Goes to Court
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If any of you so much as think about asking if she knows me....
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Old Oct 1, 2011, 07:57 AM   #8
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Re: When Grandma Goes to Court
Oh my, where is a Hitman when you need him.
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The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others(Bertrand Russell)"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil,You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them." - Lt. Gen. James N. Mattis
This is slavery, not to speak one's thought. [Euripides-The Phoenician Women (c.411-409 B.C.)] http://www.macedonia.info/FALLACIESANDFACTS.htm Sic semper tyrannis.
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Old Oct 1, 2011, 08:31 AM Threadstarter Thread Starter   #9
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Re: When Grandma Goes to Court
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Oh my, where is a Hitman when you need him.
Reminds me of something one of my friends said a while back:

"Is there someone alive today...only because you couldn't afford a Hitman?"
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