Interesting thoughts about sex :D

crazy overclock · Jul 3, 2002, 02:20 AM

>If you had sex for 365 times a year, you could melt all
>
>the condoms and have enough rubber to make a tyre.
>
>And you could call this tyre :
>
>a Fucking "GOODYEAR"
>
>___________________________________________
>
>
>
>Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven
>
>first?
>
>A Kid replied : The legs...because everynight I see my
>
>mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".
>
>_______________________________________________ __
>
>
>
>Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?
>
>Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say
>
>"TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY".
>
>___________________________________________
>
>
>
>What's the difference between a panty and a stage
>
>curtain??
>
>Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is
>
>over.
>
>But when you pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.
>
>_________________________________________
>
>
>
>AGES OF VAGINA:
>
>16 to 19 BRAND NEW.
>
>20 TO 28 SLIGHTLY USED
>
>29 TO 36 SECOND HAND
>
>37 TO 45 SUBJECT TO REPAIR
>
>46 TO 55 FOR LUBRICATION
>
>56 TO 60 TOTAL WRECK
>
>61 TO 70 CLOSED FOR RENOVATION!!!!!!!
>
>__________________________________________
>
>
>
>MUM: Didn't I tell you if stranger touches your breast
>
>say "DON'T".
>
>And if he touches your pussy say STOP!
>
>GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him ...
>
>"DON'T STOP!!!!"
>
>__________________________________________
>
>
>
>GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES
>
>9 INCHES - Oh Shit, pain!!
>
>7 INCHES - Oh, I'm in heaven
>
>6 INCHES - OH PERFECT
>
>5 INCHES - UMMMM OK
>
>4 INCHES - PUSH MORE
>
>3 INCHES - IS THAT IN???
>
>2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!

dipstick · Jul 3, 2002, 02:24 AM

edperks · Jul 3, 2002, 02:32 AM

digitalwanderer · Jul 3, 2002, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by crazy overclock
>If you had sex for 365 times a year, you could melt all
>
>the condoms and have enough rubber to make a tyre.

If'n I saved all the condoms I used after having sex 365 times I wouldn't have enough latex for a hamster to make a condom out of! (Woo-hoo!!! The great advantages of marriage and surgically induced birth control!!!!

)

Onde Pik · Jul 3, 2002, 09:08 AM

The reason why u use a rubber is because it is 365 diffrent women ...

shortstuff · Jul 3, 2002, 09:58 AM

LMAO!

kinetic · Jul 3, 2002, 06:24 PM

A woman is walking past a shop when she sees an advert for a "Clitoris licking frog"

Excited, she enters the shop. "I'm enquiring about the clitoris licking frog" she says breathlessly.

"Oui madame" says the assistant.

Two women sat on a porch. The first woman says "Oh no here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend!"

"Don't you have a vase?" says the second woman.

Joe starts work in a lumber yard. The boss says "Right, we work 12 hours a day, we eat 2 meals a day, lights out at 10.30 and you can put your dick in that barrel over their for a blow job any day but Thursday"

Joe says"Why not Thursday?"

The boss says "Because Thursday it's your turn in the barrel"

Shaith · Jul 4, 2002, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digitalwanderer
If'n I saved all the condoms I used after having sex 365 times I wouldn't have enough latex for a hamster to make a condom out of! (Woo-hoo!!! The great advantages of marriage and surgically induced birth control!!!! )

You must have married my ex-wife.

Onde Pik · Jul 4, 2002, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by shaith
You must have married my ex-wife.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAH

JavaFox · Jul 5, 2002, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by shaith
You must have married my ex-wife.

What he meant, dude, was that he hasn't been using condoms!

w|red · Jul 5, 2002, 08:59 PM

*quickly searches trashcan for old condoms*
Oh yea.. I don't have sex.. now I can't get my dad a set of tires for his birthday

~~TIGER~~ · Sep 9, 2002, 10:34 PM

If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!

Jul 3, 2002, 02:20 AM	#1
crazy overclock Java programmer Join Date: May 2002 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 125 Rep Power: 0	Interesting thoughts about sex :D >If you had sex for 365 times a year, you could melt all > >the condoms and have enough rubber to make a tyre. > >And you could call this tyre : > >a Fucking "GOODYEAR" > >___________________________________________ > > > >Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven > >first? > >A Kid replied : The legs...because everynight I see my > >mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING". > >_______________________________________________ __ > > > >Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school? > >Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say > >"TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY". > >___________________________________________ > > > >What's the difference between a panty and a stage > >curtain?? > >Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is > >over. > >But when you pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME. > >_________________________________________ > > > >AGES OF VAGINA: > >16 to 19 BRAND NEW. > >20 TO 28 SLIGHTLY USED > >29 TO 36 SECOND HAND > >37 TO 45 SUBJECT TO REPAIR > >46 TO 55 FOR LUBRICATION > >56 TO 60 TOTAL WRECK > >61 TO 70 CLOSED FOR RENOVATION!!!!!!! > >__________________________________________ > > > >MUM: Didn't I tell you if stranger touches your breast > >say "DON'T". > >And if he touches your pussy say STOP! > >GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him ... > >"DON'T STOP!!!!" > >__________________________________________ > > > >GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES > >9 INCHES - Oh Shit, pain!! > >7 INCHES - Oh, I'm in heaven > >6 INCHES - OH PERFECT > >5 INCHES - UMMMM OK > >4 INCHES - PUSH MORE > >3 INCHES - IS THAT IN??? > >2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!

Jul 3, 2002, 09:58 AM	#6
shortstuff Sweetness Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,835 Rep Power: 0	LMAO! __________________ [color=Indigo]Joe "Roadee" Dawson R.I.P my friend. You will be missed [/color] If we keep doing what we've always done, we'll keep getting what we've always got.

Jul 5, 2002, 08:59 PM	#11
w\|red DriverHeaven Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: /home Posts: 38 Rep Power: 0	quickly searches trashcan for old condoms Oh yea.. I don't have sex.. now I can't get my dad a set of tires for his birthday __________________ fjear teh leet hax0r! 10 PRINT "J00 = H4X3D KEKE!" 20 GOTO 10

Jul 3, 2002, 02:24 AM	#2
dipstick HardwareHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: USA Posts: 3,609 Rep Power: 71 System Specs

Jul 3, 2002, 02:32 AM	#3
edperks HardwareHeaven Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Southern Illinois Posts: 780 Rep Power: 0 System Specs

Jul 3, 2002, 09:08 AM	#5
Onde Pik Rage3D Boy Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Denmark Posts: 146 Rep Power: 0	The reason why u use a rubber is because it is 365 diffrent women ...

Jul 3, 2002, 06:24 PM	#7
kinetic DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester England Posts: 2,559 Rep Power: 0	A woman is walking past a shop when she sees an advert for a "Clitoris licking frog" Excited, she enters the shop. "I'm enquiring about the clitoris licking frog" she says breathlessly. "Oui madame" says the assistant. Two women sat on a porch. The first woman says "Oh no here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend!" "Don't you have a vase?" says the second woman. Joe starts work in a lumber yard. The boss says "Right, we work 12 hours a day, we eat 2 meals a day, lights out at 10.30 and you can put your dick in that barrel over their for a blow job any day but Thursday" Joe says"Why not Thursday?" The boss says "Because Thursday it's your turn in the barrel"

Sep 9, 2002, 10:34 PM	#12
~~TIGER~~ BANNED Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: OLDHAM Posts: 591 Rep Power: 0	If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!