Men

tastyweat · Dec 12, 2003, 06:47 PM

Lets pick on men...
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . . Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said . . . Well, you succeeded!

He said . . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . .That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . . I would but you're never there.

On a wall in a ladies room . . . "My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it . . . " I do not"

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.

Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time

Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
“But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

Skull · Dec 12, 2003, 07:03 PM

pretty funny, pity we have no women here to laugh at them

Saint_K · Dec 12, 2003, 07:06 PM

we got island girl dont we?

tastyweat · Dec 12, 2003, 07:06 PM

good point - but some of us may still find it funny

Skull · Dec 12, 2003, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Saint_K
we got island girl dont we?

opps

Falstaff · Dec 12, 2003, 07:23 PM

And shortstuff too, penguin, paddy...etc etc..

jjmd · Dec 12, 2003, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Skull
opps

HEHEHE

tastyweat · Dec 12, 2003, 10:00 PM

don't forget the women who have not made themselves known!

Dec 12, 2003, 06:47 PM	#1
tastyweat Lurking Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The void Posts: 4,794 Rep Power: 75 System Specs	Men Lets pick on men... He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? He said . . . Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said . . . Well, you succeeded! He said . . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . . .That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said . . . I would but you're never there. On a wall in a ladies room . . . "My husband follows me everywhere" Written just below it . . . " I do not" Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them. Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut. Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time Q. What do men and sperm have in common? A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer. Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A. The bonds mature. Q. Why are blonde jokes so short? A. So men can remember them. Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We don't know; it has never happened. Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends. Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow. Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married. Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." “But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." __________________

Dec 12, 2003, 07:03 PM	#2
Skull Boney Admin Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 659 Rep Power: 59	pretty funny, pity we have no women here to laugh at them __________________ How you can help DriverHeaven by using Digg!

Dec 12, 2003, 07:06 PM	Thread Starter #4
tastyweat Lurking Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The void Posts: 4,794 Rep Power: 75 System Specs	good point - but some of us may still find it funny __________________

Dec 12, 2003, 07:23 PM	#6
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,048 Rep Power: 207	And shortstuff too, penguin, paddy...etc etc.. __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Dec 12, 2003, 10:00 PM	Thread Starter #8
tastyweat Lurking Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The void Posts: 4,794 Rep Power: 75 System Specs	don't forget the women who have not made themselves known! __________________

Dec 12, 2003, 07:06 PM	#3
Saint_K InSaNe Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Den haag, netherlands Posts: 836 Rep Power: 0	we got island girl dont we?