5000 members, anyone want an Driverheaven email address?

Zardon · Sep 5, 2002, 07:27 AM

ok we hit 5000 members which is a pretty big occasion, so im going to offer a couple of driverheaven.net email addresses to the people who post the funniest story in this thread just for fun. Something that could have happened to you, a friend or someone you know or something you read in a paper or on a website.

Thanks for the continued support guys btw, its been alot of fun.

Zardon.

Shaith · Sep 5, 2002, 08:22 AM

Obviously, mods/staffers need not apply

shortstuff · Sep 5, 2002, 08:40 AM

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO Way to go. I knew we would hit 5,000 sooner or later.

No need for the e-mail address.

JinksNet · Sep 5, 2002, 09:26 AM

This New York guy left home for work on Sept. 11 at about 6am to
go to his office in the World Trade Centre. When he got to Manhattan,
he went to his mistress/girlfriend's apartment in the Village, turned his
cell phone off, and thought of spending some good time with her. At about
10:00am, while still at her place, he turned his cell
phone back on, and a second later it rang. He answered, and it was his
wife who screamed at him, "Where are you? I've been trying to call you
for an hour. I've been worried sick about you!!!"
So he answered, "Where do you think I am? I'm in my office!!!"

uf4 · Sep 5, 2002, 09:27 AM

one per member? or any will do

;

wraith_form · Sep 5, 2002, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by uf4
one per member? or any will do?

Right. And, is this a "joke" contest or funniest "personal story" (as in, it actually happened to someone)?

***craig5320*** · Sep 5, 2002, 05:19 PM

This one time at band camp...

AT_curiousB · Sep 5, 2002, 06:00 PM

Ok I will bite, I got one for you.

In a large (un-named) Town here in the UK a New Police station was required.

In the fullness of time a new Police Station was provided by the tax payers, this new Police Station was at the time going to be state of the art with all mod cons ( no pun intended ) provided. including an enclosed secure area for the embarking of prisoners to court and for the reception of people arrested who would be held in custody.

Now as this was a large town, and parking was at a premium it had been decided early in the planning stages that the secure parking for the police vehicles would be under the station.

So came the day of the transfer to the new Station, and what was found, was that the roof of the underground car park was 1 foot too low to allow access for the High Roofed vehicles used by the Police force, and the Company who transported prisoners to court. This meant that all prisoners had to be escorted through the front entrance, and probably still do to this day.

A true story.

Also I dunno if it was the same area, but a police driver for a Chief Constable ( that is the most senior Police Officer in an area, for those outside of the UK ) decided to install a red toy telephone in the newly delivered car for the use by the Chief Constable. When the Cheif Constable saw the telephone he asked the driver what it was and the driver told him it was a hotline to the Home Secretary and should only be used in emergencies, and was believed, until the day a major incident happened, and the Chief Constable attempted to use the 'phone. The Chief Constable did not have a sense of humour, and the driver ended up on traffic duty.

Another true story.

Do I win?

Bill

Highwood · Sep 5, 2002, 07:10 PM

This guy gets a new credit card that he has decided to use only for emergencies and puts it away in his dresser drawer. About a month later he receives a statement telling him he owes $0.00, so he files the statement and does nothing thinking that no action is required. A month later he receives a second notice telling him he owes $0.00 and that he should pay this amount immediately, so he contacts the credit card company and they tell him they had been having a problem with their automated billing system but it is now fixed and he can ignore the statement. The next month he receives a final notice telling him if he does not pay the outstanding balance of $0.00 collection action will be taken against him and his credit rating will be damaged. The guy decides to send the credit card company a check for $0.00 to get the computer of his back. With in a week he gets a receipt and statement telling him his account is now up to date. The next day some one from this guy’s bank call him and asks why he is writing checks for $0.00 and telling him not to do it any more because he crashed the banks computer. The following month he received another statement telling him he owes $0.00

kinetic · Sep 5, 2002, 08:13 PM

Here's a couple of short true stories about would-be thieves.

A thief burst into a bank in Florida wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun.
Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled "Freeze motherstickers, this is a fuck-up!" reducing the previously terrified staff and customers to fits of laughter.
The red faced thief fled empty handed.

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This is a late entry and is unrelated to the first 2, I think this shows the power of Google

An Austrian circus dwarf died recently when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a hippopotamus. Seven thousand people cheered as Franz Dasch popped into the mouth of the Hippo and the animals gag reflex forced it to swallow. The crowd applauded wildly for several minutes before other circus entertainers realised what had happened

Alan Allen · Sep 5, 2002, 09:28 PM

This is supposed to be a true story:

A bank robber entered a bank in Chicago on a Friday afternoon around 1pm.
He walked up to the teller and pulled out a semi automatic handgun and shouted to everyone "don't move, this is a holdup"!

There were about 30 customers in the bank and just after he made his announcement, all 30 of them pulled out handguns and he was arrested on the spot!

It turns out that the bank he was robbing was directly across the street from the Regional FBI Field Office and it was payday for Government Employees. All 30 of the "customers" were FBI Agents cashing their paycheques.

I guess he should have done his homework a bit better.

Zardon · Sep 5, 2002, 09:46 PM

some pretty good ones so far, ill leave it open for a few more days to see some more interesting articles.

fornicatarachnid · Sep 5, 2002, 11:33 PM

A Real Ghost??

Watch this closely....it takes a little while to see the ghost so don't give up.

Apparently the owners of this house had been seeing
images and hearing voices for quite a while. They did some research and
found that a lady once lived in the house who lost her husband during the
civil war. Legend says that she used to sit at the table and look across the
fields in anticipation of her loved one returning home. He never came. So,
they say she still waits. They caught this photo of what they claim to be her.

It took me a few seconds to find it, but when you do it just stands out.
Like one of those optical illusions.

To save you some time, concentrate around the table. Best not to focus too
much on one spot. Look around the table and toward the window.
Click on the link below for the picture. Best to enlarge. For an added touch, turn up
the volume, it's faint but you can hear the ghost talking sometimes in a low murmur.

http://home.attbi.com/~n9ivo/whatswrong.swf

Ryoko · Sep 5, 2002, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fornicatarachnid
A Real Ghost??

Watch this closely....it takes a little while to see the ghost so don't give up.

Apparently the owners of this house had been seeing
images and hearing voices for quite a while. They did some research and
found that a lady once lived in the house who lost her husband during the
civil war. Legend says that she used to sit at the table and look across the
fields in anticipation of her loved one returning home. He never came. So,
they say she still waits. They caught this photo of what they claim to be her.

It took me a few seconds to find it, but when you do it just stands out.
Like one of those optical illusions.

To save you some time, concentrate around the table. Best not to focus too
much on one spot. Look around the table and toward the window.
Click on the link below for the picture. Best to enlarge. For an added touch, turn up
the volume, it's faint but you can hear the ghost talking sometimes in a low murmur.

real ghost ??

it might have worked if you had fixed your code

Zardon · Sep 5, 2002, 11:37 PM

**recovers from heart attack**

JavaFox · Sep 5, 2002, 11:39 PM

I've seen this before, but it still scares me every time.

Ryoko · Sep 5, 2002, 11:42 PM

i visit 3 forums regularly and another 8 every once in a while... i've seen about 40 topics with things like this in it, so it's really old to me. it still gets me that people haven't seen those swf's before.

fornicatarachnid · Sep 5, 2002, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ryoko
it might have worked if you had fixed your code

its fixed !

sorry bout that

kinetic · Sep 5, 2002, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fornicatarachnid
A Real Ghost??

Watch this closely....it takes a little while to see the ghost so don't give up.

Apparently the owners of this house had been seeing
images and hearing voices for quite a while. They did some research and
found that a lady once lived in the house who lost her husband during the
civil war. Legend says that she used to sit at the table and look across the
fields in anticipation of her loved one returning home. He never came. So,
they say she still waits. They caught this photo of what they claim to be her.

It took me a few seconds to find it, but when you do it just stands out.
Like one of those optical illusions.

To save you some time, concentrate around the table. Best not to focus too
much on one spot. Look around the table and toward the window.
Click on the link below for the picture. Best to enlarge. For an added touch, turn up
the volume, it's faint but you can hear the ghost talking sometimes in a low murmur.

http://home.attbi.com/~n9ivo/whatswrong.swf

Jesus H fucking Christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ryoko · Sep 5, 2002, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fornicatarachnid
its fixed ! sorry bout that

fixed - i mean like this:

http://www.cnn.com/news/80812028/ghost.jpg

fornicatarachnid · Sep 5, 2002, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ryoko
fixed - i mean like this:

http://www.cnn.com/news/80812028/ghost.jpg

WTF ! The link works so whats the problem ??

Ryoko · Sep 5, 2002, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fornicatarachnid
WTF ! The link works so whats the problem ??

lol

long story. to put it simply, if you write the link down as a cnn news article with a jpg extension, ppl would be much less likely to be able to tell that it was a fright swf. especially because the plain link was to a file called whatswrong.swf, when ou were talking about a picture of a ghost... the filename should look like ghost.jpg. look at the link i typed up. if you read it, it looks like a legit story. but it still links to your swf.

fornicatarachnid · Sep 6, 2002, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ryoko
lol

long story. to put it simply, if you write the link down as a cnn news article with a jpg extension, ppl would be much less likely to be able to tell that it was a fright swf. especially because the plain link was to a file called whatswrong.swf, when ou were talking about a picture of a ghost... the filename should look like ghost.jpg. look at the link i typed up. if you read it, it looks like a legit story. but it still links to your swf.

ok ok I take your point

I did try to type it up as just Real Ghost ? but it wasn't workin for some reason ?

***craig5320*** · Sep 6, 2002, 12:04 AM

My tale is of the elder days of DH IRC.

Long before middle earth reached its third age, IRC had been spoken of. It came about in the days of the 133735t elves. For many an age IRC remained a tool of leetness, it was always forsaken that such an implement of wonder should be restrained to those worthy of wielding such power.
The DH IRC came about in it's original form of davidserve.myftp.org, this was a most honourble gesture of David (see appendix *here) At one time, this place was a wantum hive of buzzing bee's busily gathering tales of old to replenish their machines, and service their software. The elders days spoke highly of DH IRC, yet these days have long been lost, the legends of david, Wyre Wolf and Wife, the ever loving OndePik, ShuKi to name a few and on special occassion legend tells of the almighty Zardon (the 'big cheese' as he probably doesn't like to be known) graced that there channel, the user list of this age lyes a mere shadow of it's former self, for long have gone the days of splendour and chat till the wholesome hours of the morning, a dark shadow grows on the horizon, some believe it to be the comings of NickServ and it's evil tidings "You Must Register Your Nick", others lay sake on the annoying craig5320 who refuses to part with the channel. The solution lies with the one command /MSG NICKSERV REGISTER, for this command is needed only to bring a second life to the channels of DH and forever cast the loneliness of the past month into the fires of mount. doom for an age of wonder and chat galour.

Craig

No I'm not on drugs,
No I've not consumed ten times my weight in alcohol
No I'm not providing my body for services anymore
and
No I'm not related to Elvis whether we have a striking resemblance or not.

SidCat · Sep 6, 2002, 12:28 AM

Well it would be nice to see 5000 responces here

Ryoko · Sep 6, 2002, 12:47 AM

it would be nice, yes. but most of them signed up for the sp1 betas

irikumi · Sep 6, 2002, 02:33 AM

I'll tell you about one time I put my foot in my mouth... I was visiting some people, at there home, that I had just met. This family was amazing because they had an incredible 17 children! 17 kids from the same mom and dad, no twins or triplets or anything like that, 17 kids… one at a time. The lady was about to have her 18th, or so I thought, because her tummy looked like you would expect on a pregnant woman’s. I say, “Wow 17 kids, looks like number 18 is about here”. She turned and looked at me and said, “No not really, I’m just fat!” I realized at that moment that looking pregnant doesn’t make you pregnant! I felt a bit embarrassed.

Psycam · Sep 6, 2002, 03:05 AM

A man comes into the bar one day and goes up to the bartender. He asks for a whiskey, so the bartender goes, "Havin' a bad day? Tell me what's wrong, and maybe I'll give ya some help." The man says "I just found out my best friend is gay." The bartender had nothing to say, so the guy left. The next day, the same guy came back and asked for another round of hard liquor. The bartending goes "I can see you're having trouble again." So the guy says "Yeah, I just found out my brother is gay." Again, the man left the bar, and came back the third day. Again he calls for some heavy liquor, so the bartender out of curiosity asked "Does anyone in your family love women?"

And the man goes "Yeah, my wife."

Malus · Sep 6, 2002, 03:45 AM

Well, one time I was at work and a lady came in and ordered a hamburger. We asked her if she wanted a 1/3, a 1/2, or a 2/3 pound burger. She asked which was bigger.

Also, I knew a lot of people who though Bill Clinton was impeached because he had sex with his intern. That made me laugh a lot. I can't believe people actually thought that.

Ok, so maybe it isn't that funny, but this is:

humble · Sep 6, 2002, 04:17 AM

Many years ago, my father and I were playing with Scott, a toddler cousin of mine. We were floating a toy boat in a pond near Scott's house.

As Scott gleefully watched the boat sail off into the pond, he excitedly shouted, "Boap! Boap!” My father, determined to insure Scott did not grow up having a speech impediment, took him aside and somberly instructed, "No Scott. It’s boat-teh, boat-teh", clearly enunciating the ending "T" sound for Scott's edification.

Scott was clearly impressed with my father's imparted wisdom, which he immediately demonstrated by intoning, "Teh. Teh. Boap"

Sep 5, 2002, 07:27 AM	#1
Zardon DriverHeaven Founder Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 32,480 Rep Power: 179	5000 members, anyone want an Driverheaven email address? ok we hit 5000 members which is a pretty big occasion, so im going to offer a couple of driverheaven.net email addresses to the people who post the funniest story in this thread just for fun. Something that could have happened to you, a friend or someone you know or something you read in a paper or on a website. Thanks for the continued support guys btw, its been alot of fun. Zardon.

Sep 5, 2002, 08:22 AM	#2
Shaith HardwareHeaven Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 916 Rep Power: 0	There once was a man from Nantucket... Obviously, mods/staffers need not apply

Sep 5, 2002, 08:40 AM	#3
shortstuff Sweetness Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,835 Rep Power: 0	WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO Way to go. I knew we would hit 5,000 sooner or later. No need for the e-mail address. __________________ [color=Indigo]Joe "Roadee" Dawson R.I.P my friend. You will be missed [/color] If we keep doing what we've always done, we'll keep getting what we've always got.

Sep 5, 2002, 09:26 AM	#4
JinksNet DriverHeaven Newbie Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1 Rep Power: 0	Story This New York guy left home for work on Sept. 11 at about 6am to go to his office in the World Trade Centre. When he got to Manhattan, he went to his mistress/girlfriend's apartment in the Village, turned his cell phone off, and thought of spending some good time with her. At about 10:00am, while still at her place, he turned his cell phone back on, and a second later it rang. He answered, and it was his wife who screamed at him, "Where are you? I've been trying to call you for an hour. I've been worried sick about you!!!" So he answered, "Where do you think I am? I'm in my office!!!" __________________ System : Widows XP Pro Pentium4 1.7 Gig clocked to 2.0gig 512 Megs 2700 DDR 80 Gig Hard Drive Nvida GeoForce2 MX400 tv/o 64meg 8x4x32 spd Burner 16 spd Samsung DVD-rom 15' Flat-screen Samsung Monitor (SyncMaster 151s) 56k D-Link DFM-560E Externel Modem

Sep 5, 2002, 05:19 PM	#7
*craig5320* HH Administrator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 8,573 Rep Power: 445 System Specs	This one time at band camp... __________________ HardwareHeaven on Facebook

Sep 5, 2002, 09:27 AM	#5
uf4 Always newbie & cocky kid Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 439 Rep Power: 0	one per member? or any will do ;

Sep 5, 2002, 06:00 PM	#8
AT_curiousB DriverHeaven Lover Join Date: May 2002 Location: England Posts: 128 Rep Power: 0	Funny Story Ok I will bite, I got one for you. In a large (un-named) Town here in the UK a New Police station was required. In the fullness of time a new Police Station was provided by the tax payers, this new Police Station was at the time going to be state of the art with all mod cons ( no pun intended ) provided. including an enclosed secure area for the embarking of prisoners to court and for the reception of people arrested who would be held in custody. Now as this was a large town, and parking was at a premium it had been decided early in the planning stages that the secure parking for the police vehicles would be under the station. So came the day of the transfer to the new Station, and what was found, was that the roof of the underground car park was 1 foot too low to allow access for the High Roofed vehicles used by the Police force, and the Company who transported prisoners to court. This meant that all prisoners had to be escorted through the front entrance, and probably still do to this day. A true story. Also I dunno if it was the same area, but a police driver for a Chief Constable ( that is the most senior Police Officer in an area, for those outside of the UK ) decided to install a red toy telephone in the newly delivered car for the use by the Chief Constable. When the Cheif Constable saw the telephone he asked the driver what it was and the driver told him it was a hotline to the Home Secretary and should only be used in emergencies, and was believed, until the day a major incident happened, and the Chief Constable attempted to use the 'phone. The Chief Constable did not have a sense of humour, and the driver ended up on traffic duty. Another true story. Do I win? Bill __________________ Bill

Sep 5, 2002, 07:10 PM	#9
Highwood Comfortably Numb Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 504 Rep Power: 0	This guy gets a new credit card that he has decided to use only for emergencies and puts it away in his dresser drawer. About a month later he receives a statement telling him he owes $0.00, so he files the statement and does nothing thinking that no action is required. A month later he receives a second notice telling him he owes $0.00 and that he should pay this amount immediately, so he contacts the credit card company and they tell him they had been having a problem with their automated billing system but it is now fixed and he can ignore the statement. The next month he receives a final notice telling him if he does not pay the outstanding balance of $0.00 collection action will be taken against him and his credit rating will be damaged. The guy decides to send the credit card company a check for $0.00 to get the computer of his back. With in a week he gets a receipt and statement telling him his account is now up to date. The next day some one from this guy’s bank call him and asks why he is writing checks for $0.00 and telling him not to do it any more because he crashed the banks computer. The following month he received another statement telling him he owes $0.00

Sep 5, 2002, 08:13 PM	#10
kinetic DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester England Posts: 2,559 Rep Power: 0	Here's a couple of short true stories about would-be thieves. A thief burst into a bank in Florida wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled "Freeze motherstickers, this is a fuck-up!" reducing the previously terrified staff and customers to fits of laughter. The red faced thief fled empty handed. A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This is a late entry and is unrelated to the first 2, I think this shows the power of Google An Austrian circus dwarf died recently when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a hippopotamus. Seven thousand people cheered as Franz Dasch popped into the mouth of the Hippo and the animals gag reflex forced it to swallow. The crowd applauded wildly for several minutes before other circus entertainers realised what had happened

Sep 5, 2002, 09:28 PM	#11
Alan Allen The "Eye" Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada Posts: 286 Rep Power: 0	Poor Bank Robber Planning This is supposed to be a true story: A bank robber entered a bank in Chicago on a Friday afternoon around 1pm. He walked up to the teller and pulled out a semi automatic handgun and shouted to everyone "don't move, this is a holdup"! There were about 30 customers in the bank and just after he made his announcement, all 30 of them pulled out handguns and he was arrested on the spot! It turns out that the bank he was robbing was directly across the street from the Regional FBI Field Office and it was payday for Government Employees. All 30 of the "customers" were FBI Agents cashing their paycheques. I guess he should have done his homework a bit better. __________________ [COLOR=lightblue] [SIZE=small]Alan Edward Allen[/COLOR] [/SIZE] [SIZE=xsmall] [COLOR=yellow]AMD Athlon T-Bird 1.4Ghz 266fsb (AIR COOLED MC-462A), Gigabyte GA-7DXR - Microsoft Windows Me Micron 512Meg PC2100 DDR 16-8-8-2-6-2-2 @ 2.7v, IBM Deskstar 60GXP 40Gb (x2), Setup as RAID 0 ASUS V8200 Deluxe GeForce3 - nVidia 40.71's [/SIZE] [/COLOR]

Sep 5, 2002, 09:46 PM	Thread Starter #12
Zardon DriverHeaven Founder Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 32,480 Rep Power: 179	some pretty good ones so far, ill leave it open for a few more days to see some more interesting articles.

Sep 5, 2002, 11:33 PM	#13
fornicatarachnid Clanless Join Date: May 2002 Location: On the web, England UK Posts: 714 Rep Power: 0	*A Real Ghost??* Watch this closely....it takes a little while to see the ghost so don't give up. Apparently the owners of this house had been seeing images and hearing voices for quite a while. They did some research and found that a lady once lived in the house who lost her husband during the civil war. Legend says that she used to sit at the table and look across the fields in anticipation of her loved one returning home. He never came. So, they say she still waits. They caught this photo of what they claim to be her. It took me a few seconds to find it, but when you do it just stands out. Like one of those optical illusions. To save you some time, concentrate around the table. Best not to focus too much on one spot. Look around the table and toward the window. Click on the link below for the picture. Best to enlarge. For an added touch, turn up the volume, it's faint but you can hear the ghost talking sometimes in a low murmur. http://home.attbi.com/~n9ivo/whatswrong.swf

Sep 5, 2002, 11:37 PM	Thread Starter #15
Zardon DriverHeaven Founder Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 32,480 Rep Power: 179	recovers from heart attack

Sep 5, 2002, 11:39 PM	#16
JavaFox E Pluribus Unum Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 3,203 Rep Power: 0	I've seen this before, but it still scares me every time.

Sep 5, 2002, 11:42 PM	#17
Ryoko American Soldier Join Date: May 2002 Location: Williamsburg, VA Posts: 1,725 Rep Power: 0	i visit 3 forums regularly and another 8 every once in a while... i've seen about 40 topics with things like this in it, so it's really old to me. it still gets me that people haven't seen those swf's before.

Sep 6, 2002, 12:04 AM	#24
*craig5320* HH Administrator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 8,573 Rep Power: 445 System Specs	My tale is of the elder days of DH IRC. Long before middle earth reached its third age, IRC had been spoken of. It came about in the days of the 133735t elves. For many an age IRC remained a tool of leetness, it was always forsaken that such an implement of wonder should be restrained to those worthy of wielding such power. The DH IRC came about in it's original form of davidserve.myftp.org, this was a most honourble gesture of David (see appendix *here) At one time, this place was a wantum hive of buzzing bee's busily gathering tales of old to replenish their machines, and service their software. The elders days spoke highly of DH IRC, yet these days have long been lost, the legends of david, Wyre Wolf and Wife, the ever loving OndePik, ShuKi to name a few and on special occassion legend tells of the almighty Zardon (the 'big cheese' as he probably doesn't like to be known) graced that there channel, the user list of this age lyes a mere shadow of it's former self, for long have gone the days of splendour and chat till the wholesome hours of the morning, a dark shadow grows on the horizon, some believe it to be the comings of NickServ and it's evil tidings "You Must Register Your Nick", others lay sake on the annoying craig5320 who refuses to part with the channel. The solution lies with the one command /MSG NICKSERV REGISTER, for this command is needed only to bring a second life to the channels of DH and forever cast the loneliness of the past month into the fires of mount. doom for an age of wonder and chat galour. Craig No I'm not on drugs, No I've not consumed ten times my weight in alcohol No I'm not providing my body for services anymore and No I'm not related to Elvis whether we have a striking resemblance or not. __________________ HardwareHeaven on Facebook

Sep 6, 2002, 12:28 AM	#25
SidCat DriverHeaven Newbie Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 1 Rep Power: 0	5000? Well it would be nice to see 5000 responces here

Sep 6, 2002, 12:47 AM	#26
Ryoko American Soldier Join Date: May 2002 Location: Williamsburg, VA Posts: 1,725 Rep Power: 0	it would be nice, yes. but most of them signed up for the sp1 betas

Sep 6, 2002, 02:33 AM	#27
irikumi DriverHeaven Newbie Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 1 Rep Power: 0	I'll tell you about one time I put my foot in my mouth... I was visiting some people, at there home, that I had just met. This family was amazing because they had an incredible 17 children! 17 kids from the same mom and dad, no twins or triplets or anything like that, 17 kids… one at a time. The lady was about to have her 18th, or so I thought, because her tummy looked like you would expect on a pregnant woman’s. I say, “Wow 17 kids, looks like number 18 is about here”. She turned and looked at me and said, “No not really, I’m just fat!” I realized at that moment that looking pregnant doesn’t make you pregnant! I felt a bit embarrassed.

Sep 6, 2002, 03:05 AM	#28
Psycam Hey You! Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: IMSA, IL Posts: 37 Rep Power: 0	A man comes into the bar one day and goes up to the bartender. He asks for a whiskey, so the bartender goes, "Havin' a bad day? Tell me what's wrong, and maybe I'll give ya some help." The man says "I just found out my best friend is gay." The bartender had nothing to say, so the guy left. The next day, the same guy came back and asked for another round of hard liquor. The bartending goes "I can see you're having trouble again." So the guy says "Yeah, I just found out my brother is gay." Again, the man left the bar, and came back the third day. Again he calls for some heavy liquor, so the bartender out of curiosity asked "Does anyone in your family love women?" And the man goes "Yeah, my wife." __________________

Sep 6, 2002, 03:45 AM	#29
Malus BSD SMASH! Join Date: May 2002 Location: A rabbit hole. . . Posts: 1,170 Rep Power: 0	Well, one time I was at work and a lady came in and ordered a hamburger. We asked her if she wanted a 1/3, a 1/2, or a 2/3 pound burger. She asked which was bigger. Also, I knew a lot of people who though Bill Clinton was impeached because he had sex with his intern. That made me laugh a lot. I can't believe people actually thought that. Ok, so maybe it isn't that funny, but this is: __________________ quad (FreeBSD/amd64 8-CURRENT): Intel Q6600 - Asus P5E-VM HDMI - 2x2 GB Kingston PC6400 DDR2 Ram - Seagate 320GB 7200RPM HD - 2xSeagate 1TB 7200RPM HD in RAID 1 via ZFS - Lite-On 20x DVD Multi Recorder - Coolermaster Centurion 5 router (FreeBSD/amd64 8-CURRENT): Intel E4500 - Intel D945GCNL - 2 GB PC6400 Mushkin Ram - Lite-On 48x24x48x16 - Seagate 320GB 7200RPM HD - Silverstone SST-SG02-F wanderer (FreeBSD/i386 7-CURRENT): Lenovo Thinkpad T61p mini (OS X 10.5): Intel Core 2 Duo @ 1.8Ghz, 4 GB Mushkin PC5400 Ram - Headroom MicroDAC Portable sound: Rockboxed iPod Video -> Westone UM2's Not-So-Portable Sound: Headroon MicroDAC -> Singlepower PPX3-SLAM -> Grado RS-1's or Beyerdynamic DT-880's Very-Not-Portable-Sound: Squeezebox v3 -> Denon AVR-1507 -> B&W 683's & Sunfire HRS-10

Sep 6, 2002, 04:17 AM	#30
humble DriverHeaven Newbie Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 1 Rep Power: 0	True Anecdote Many years ago, my father and I were playing with Scott, a toddler cousin of mine. We were floating a toy boat in a pond near Scott's house. As Scott gleefully watched the boat sail off into the pond, he excitedly shouted, "Boap! Boap!” My father, determined to insure Scott did not grow up having a speech impediment, took him aside and somberly instructed, "No Scott. It’s boat-teh, boat-teh", clearly enunciating the ending "T" sound for Scott's edification. Scott was clearly impressed with my father's imparted wisdom, which he immediately demonstrated by intoning, "Teh. Teh. Boap"