HardwareHeaven.com
Looking for the skin chooser?
 
 

  • Home

  • Reviews

  • Articles

  • News

  • Tools

  • GamingHeaven

  • Forums

  • Network
 

Go Back   HardwareHeaven.com > Forums > HardwareHeaven's Heaven > Off-Topic Forum
Reload this Page

Costello Buys a Computer from Abbott

Register FAQ Members List Social Groups Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Off-Topic Forum A place to chill and relax ...

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old Jul 26, 2004, 09:01 PM   #1
HH Old Fuddy Duddy
 
Dyre Straits's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 14,032
Rep Power: 201
Dyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his statusDyre Straits is godlike in his status
System Specs

Gold Member
Big Grin Costello Buys a Computer from Abbott
Does anyone remember Abbott and Costell's very funny routine, "Who's on
First?" Here's an update!

Lou Costello Tries to Buy a Computer from Bud Abbott

ABBOTT (behind the counter at: Super Duper computer store): Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about
buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say,
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What

do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If its a long m ovie I also want to see reel 2. 3 & 4. Can I
watch
them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great, with what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1."

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"

ABBOTT: No, just one.. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of
Office.

COST ELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping,
you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??

ABBOTT: Click on "START".........
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vampyromaniac View Post
Thank you kindly for fulfilling my request, Dyre
You, sir, are a shining beacon of shiny shininess!
Quote:
If you have an issue with what you said, please resolve it in private
Dyre Straits is offline   Reply With Quote


Old Jul 26, 2004, 09:52 PM   #2
| n f e c t e D
 
Ev!L-aLphA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: California
Posts: 4,111
Rep Power: 60
Ev!L-aLphA will become famous soon enough
LOL!!!!!
__________________

R.I.P
8/8/04
4/21/08
Ev!L-aLphA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 26, 2004, 10:06 PM   #3
I = Greatest Dood
 
GutterPunk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 5,949
Rep Power: 70
GutterPunk is just super!GutterPunk is just super!GutterPunk is just super!GutterPunk is just super!GutterPunk is just super!GutterPunk is just super!GutterPunk is just super!

Donator
hah worth the long read..!
__________________
Rock On \m/ Thank you Mousey for the Sig!
---------------

Intel Core2Duo E6660 (3.4GHZ) ~ Tuniq Tower 120 ~ Enermax Galaxy 1000W ~ Corsair Dominator @ 1090MHZ 5-5-5-15 (OCZ XTC Modded Cooler)~ EVGA 8800GTX W/ HR-03 Plus 120MM ~ Asus DVD-RW LiteScribe ~ LG DVD-RW ~ Corsair Voyager 2GB ReadyBoost Drive ~ Vantec Nexus Fan Controller ~ ThermalTake Armor 25CM fan ~
Personal Finance Blog: Dent Your Debt
GutterPunk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 26, 2004, 10:41 PM   #4
HardwareHeaven Extreme Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,187
Rep Power: 69
Zelig has much to be proud ofZelig has much to be proud ofZelig has much to be proud ofZelig has much to be proud ofZelig has much to be proud ofZelig has much to be proud ofZelig has much to be proud ofZelig has much to be proud of
System Specs

Ha! That was great.
Zelig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 26, 2004, 11:48 PM   #5
HH Administrator
 
craig5320's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 8,282
Rep Power: 428
craig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his status
System Specs

haha, that scene rocks, I hope some one get's this acted out proper it's funny.

Who's on first?
__________________
craig5320 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 27, 2004, 01:35 AM   #6
ein Krieger
 
Nacht's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Clemson Uni
Posts: 3,127
Rep Power: 0
Nacht is on a distinguished road
it seems like that convo could never happen...but let me tell you..it can. working at circuit city, i saw some strange crap. i tried telling a lady for 30 mins one time that microsoft didnt make computers. all she would respond is "but my son said he had a microsoft computer, and he does".
Nacht is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 27, 2004, 05:44 AM   #7
Mr. Nobody
 
mainman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: OmniPresent Nightwatcher
Posts: 5,961
Rep Power: 69
mainman is a glorious beacon of lightmainman is a glorious beacon of lightmainman is a glorious beacon of lightmainman is a glorious beacon of lightmainman is a glorious beacon of lightmainman is a glorious beacon of light
OMFG!!!!
mainman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 27, 2004, 05:49 AM   #8
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Indiana , USA
Posts: 2,677
Rep Power: 0
Sourcer_2002 is on a distinguished road
wow great read!
Sourcer_2002 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 27, 2004, 06:11 AM   #9
I like computers.
 
MythicaL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: In front of a monitor
Posts: 3,399
Rep Power: 87
MythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMythicaL has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seen
System Specs

Donator
hahaha, another computer illiterate at need!
__________________


Always knew I didn't belong in this world. I wasn't made for this. But I'll never forget those who betrayed me, and those who never failed my trust.
MythicaL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 28, 2004, 05:48 AM   #10
DriverHeaven Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 30
Rep Power: 0
Whobetta is on a distinguished road
Very clever!
__________________
Asus P4S8X, 512MB DDR Ram, Radeon 9800 Pro 128MB, Maxtor 40gb 7200rpm, MSI dragonwriter 48X16X48, LG 4163B 16x DVD-RW, SB LIVE 5.1, Canoscan 320p, LG Studioworks 17' Monitor, Windows XP SP1
Whobetta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 28, 2004, 06:17 AM   #11
-=[DHzer0point Team]=-
 
Lchevy79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 725
Rep Power: 0
Lchevy79 is on a distinguished road
funny
__________________
msi K7N2 delta2-AMD 2800xp@2083-1gig of pc2700ram -ati x850xt 256mb -Audigy mp3+ - 1 80gig maxtor 8mb and 1 250gig 16mb maxtor -48x24x48 buslink burner-and a lite on 4x +/- dvd burner xp home samsung lcd (19") 930b monitor
Lchevy79 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 28, 2004, 06:28 AM   #12
Old Codger
 
Falstaff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: USAFA
Posts: 19,047
Rep Power: 206
Falstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his status

Donator Gold Member
Im not illiterate, my parents were married before I was born....bwahahahhahahah
__________________
"Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."
Falstaff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 28, 2004, 06:33 AM   #13
Space Monocerotis
 
Dexsal's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Aust
Posts: 1,401
Rep Power: 0
Dexsal is on a distinguished road
funny good read
Dexsal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 29, 2004, 12:58 AM   #14
Delete Me
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,648
Rep Power: 0
pr0digal jenius is a name known to allpr0digal jenius is a name known to allpr0digal jenius is a name known to allpr0digal jenius is a name known to allpr0digal jenius is a name known to allpr0digal jenius is a name known to all
very good...lol
pr0digal jenius is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 29, 2004, 12:18 PM   #15
HardwareHeaven Senior Member
 
Al_Vampyre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,532
Rep Power: 71
Al_Vampyre has much to be proud ofAl_Vampyre has much to be proud ofAl_Vampyre has much to be proud ofAl_Vampyre has much to be proud ofAl_Vampyre has much to be proud ofAl_Vampyre has much to be proud ofAl_Vampyre has much to be proud ofAl_Vampyre has much to be proud ofAl_Vampyre has much to be proud of
System Specs

Donator
Good one...loved Abbott & Costello!
__________________
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad" - Brian O'Driscoll - Ireland Rugby Team 2009 Grand Slam winning Captain.
Al_Vampyre is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

« What theme are you using on Driverheaven? | Porn Spam »
Thread Tools