Officially the best joke in the world

kinetic · Oct 4, 2002, 05:10 PM

It's official, 2 million people from around the world have judged 40,000 jokes and here is the winning entry.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and dials the emergency services.

He gasps "My friend is dead! What should I do?"

The operator says "Calm down, I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."

There is silence, then a loud gunshot is heard.

"Ok, I've done that, now what?"

***craig5320*** · Oct 4, 2002, 05:43 PM

The real joke is that they reckon that joke is the funniest joke in the world. Ever heard about the Royal Family having a party and Camilla was round....

Starscream · Oct 4, 2002, 07:04 PM

That joke didn't even get a chuckle from me.

digitalwanderer · Oct 4, 2002, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by craig5320
Ever heard about the Royal Family having a party and Camilla was round....

No, please share.

***craig5320*** · Oct 4, 2002, 08:12 PM

lol. The Office, UK Comedy at it's best, all who watched should understand.

kinetic · Oct 4, 2002, 08:13 PM

Ok, here's the American entry.

Texan: "Where are you from?"

Posh Harvard graduate "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

Texan: "Ok, where are you from, jackass?"

Oct 5, 2002, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kinetic
Ok, here's the American entry.

Texan: "Where are you from?"

Posh Harvard graduate "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

Texan: "Ok, where are you from, jackass?"

so funny yet so true... jackass

reno · Oct 5, 2002, 07:20 PM

Considering people from all over the world rated them...and considering that it was only the winner by ratings (not like it was "this joke, or this joke?")...and considering the lack of a sense of humor in all countries except the UK, the USA, Canada, and South Africa (what did one female tourist say to the other? "I only got raped once today, a new record!")....I conclude that this survey was fixed.

Come on, that joke sounds like it came from the comedic mastermind of a half-retarded, 12 year old, elephant boy.

kinetic · Oct 5, 2002, 08:19 PM

Jesus! Im just glad I didn't claim the joke as mine.

***craig5320*** · Oct 5, 2002, 10:52 PM

It is pretty poor tho. I guess they can't include jokes that are against a minority, i mean like the ole' how do you cercumcise a redneck, kick his sister in the jaw. "To which my mate actuallu replied.. awww. what did his sister do?" see there are innocent minds after all

Jokes like that while may be funny to most will offend a certain group of people. I'm sorry if your one I'm just making my example. No doubt some corner shop owners would have something to say, maybe even the irish man, scotsman and even a fellow englishman may have... where was I i'm lost? anyway.

skastel · Oct 5, 2002, 11:25 PM

I heard this one at work.
A harvard grad and a yale grad are both taking a piss. The Harvard grad finished his business and turns to leave. The Yale grad says in a pretentious voice: "At Yale they teach us wash our hands." The Harvard grad replies "Oh yeah, at Harvard they taught us not to piss on our hands!"

kinetic · Oct 5, 2002, 11:27 PM

Here about the Irish Pope.................he made a blind man lame.

~~TIGER~~ · Oct 5, 2002, 11:28 PM

[quote]Originally posted by kinetic
[b]It's official, 2 million people from around the world have judged 40,000 jokes and here is the winning entry.

I read somthing about this in the newspaper the otherday, the joke u've just told and the joke in the paper r totally different, mmmmmmmmmm wonder if if still got that paper.
BRB am a going midgie raking

***craig5320*** · Oct 5, 2002, 11:34 PM

It's the same joke TIGER, I heard it and read many times last week and each time there were lil variants, found that paper yet?

kinetic · Oct 5, 2002, 11:34 PM

[quote]Originally posted by TIGER

Quote:

Originally posted by kinetic
It's official, 2 million people from around the world have judged 40,000 jokes and here is the winning entry.

I read somthing about this in the newspaper the otherday, the joke u've just told and the joke in the paper r totally different, mmmmmmmmmm wonder if if still got that paper.
BRB am a going midgie raking

You're right it was in most of the papers but I'm sure I posted the right one. Doesn't matter, everyone thought it was shite anyway.

By the way what the F**k is midgie raking?

~~TIGER~~ · Oct 5, 2002, 11:35 PM

By the way what the F**k is midgie raking?

[/b][/quote]

its ermmmmmmm going through the bin

kinetic · Oct 5, 2002, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TIGER
By the way what the F**k is midgie raking?

its ermmmmmmm going through the bin [/quote]

Can't wait to use that one Tiger!

Oct 4, 2002, 05:10 PM	#1
kinetic DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester England Posts: 2,559 Rep Power: 0	Officially the best joke in the world It's official, 2 million people from around the world have judged 40,000 jokes and here is the winning entry. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and dials the emergency services. He gasps "My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator says "Calm down, I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead." There is silence, then a loud gunshot is heard. "Ok, I've done that, now what?"

Oct 4, 2002, 05:43 PM	#2
*craig5320* HH Administrator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 8,572 Rep Power: 445 System Specs	The real joke is that they reckon that joke is the funniest joke in the world. Ever heard about the Royal Family having a party and Camilla was round.... __________________ HardwareHeaven on Facebook

Oct 4, 2002, 07:04 PM	#3
Starscream King of the Decepticons! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Cybertron Posts: 117 Rep Power: 0	That joke didn't even get a chuckle from me. __________________ Over and outie...

Oct 4, 2002, 08:12 PM	#5
*craig5320* HH Administrator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 8,572 Rep Power: 445 System Specs	lol. The Office, UK Comedy at it's best, all who watched should understand. __________________ HardwareHeaven on Facebook

Oct 5, 2002, 07:20 PM	#8
reno Painlord of Ichor Join Date: May 2002 Location: bloinkin! Posts: 1,610 Rep Power: 0	sdfsd Considering people from all over the world rated them...and considering that it was only the winner by ratings (not like it was "this joke, or this joke?")...and considering the lack of a sense of humor in all countries except the UK, the USA, Canada, and South Africa (what did one female tourist say to the other? "I only got raped once today, a new record!")....I conclude that this survey was fixed. Come on, that joke sounds like it came from the comedic mastermind of a half-retarded, 12 year old, elephant boy.

Oct 4, 2002, 08:13 PM	Thread Starter #6
kinetic DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester England Posts: 2,559 Rep Power: 0	Ok, here's the American entry. Texan: "Where are you from?" Posh Harvard graduate "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Ok, where are you from, jackass?"

Oct 5, 2002, 08:19 PM	Thread Starter #9
kinetic DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester England Posts: 2,559 Rep Power: 0	Jesus! Im just glad I didn't claim the joke as mine.

Oct 5, 2002, 10:52 PM	#10
*craig5320* HH Administrator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 8,572 Rep Power: 445 System Specs	It is pretty poor tho. I guess they can't include jokes that are against a minority, i mean like the ole' how do you cercumcise a redneck, kick his sister in the jaw. "To which my mate actuallu replied.. awww. what did his sister do?" see there are innocent minds after all Jokes like that while may be funny to most will offend a certain group of people. I'm sorry if your one I'm just making my example. No doubt some corner shop owners would have something to say, maybe even the irish man, scotsman and even a fellow englishman may have... where was I i'm lost? anyway. __________________ HardwareHeaven on Facebook

Oct 5, 2002, 11:25 PM	#11
skastel Massive Happiness Join Date: May 2002 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 238 Rep Power: 0	I heard this one at work. A harvard grad and a yale grad are both taking a piss. The Harvard grad finished his business and turns to leave. The Yale grad says in a pretentious voice: "At Yale they teach us wash our hands." The Harvard grad replies "Oh yeah, at Harvard they taught us not to piss on our hands!" __________________ Barton 2800+ @ 1998Mhz (12x166) Radeon 9700 Pro ASUS A7N 1 GB Corsair Low Latency PC3200 (2-2-2-5) SBLive! 5.1 WD 80GB JB Samsung DVD 16x+/12x-/2.4x Dual Layer Lite-On CD-R/RW 48x12x48x

Oct 5, 2002, 11:27 PM	Thread Starter #12
kinetic DriverHeaven Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester England Posts: 2,559 Rep Power: 0	Here about the Irish Pope.................he made a blind man lame.

Oct 5, 2002, 11:28 PM	#13
~~TIGER~~ BANNED Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: OLDHAM Posts: 591 Rep Power: 0	Re: Officially the best joke in the world [quote]Originally posted by kinetic [b]It's official, 2 million people from around the world have judged 40,000 jokes and here is the winning entry. I read somthing about this in the newspaper the otherday, the joke u've just told and the joke in the paper r totally different, mmmmmmmmmm wonder if if still got that paper. BRB am a going midgie raking

Oct 5, 2002, 11:34 PM	#14
*craig5320* HH Administrator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 8,572 Rep Power: 445 System Specs	It's the same joke TIGER, I heard it and read many times last week and each time there were lil variants, found that paper yet? __________________ HardwareHeaven on Facebook

Oct 5, 2002, 11:35 PM	#16
~~TIGER~~ BANNED Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: OLDHAM Posts: 591 Rep Power: 0	Re: Officially the best joke in the world By the way what the F**k is midgie raking? [/b][/quote] its ermmmmmmm going through the bin