halloween safety rules.

mike2h · Oct 14, 2004, 08:56 PM

The 21 Rules Of Halloween! With Halloween upon us, it
is worthwhile to remember a few simple rules to help
keep this season healthy, happy and SAFE!

Please use these helpful hints this and every year!!

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster,
NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as
a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power
has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other
language which they should not know, SHOOT them
immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the
long run. However, it will probably take several
rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies
to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair
off and go alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open
portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or
crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead
as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a
loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET
THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not
check for short circuits; just get out.

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's
probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look
around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless
you're sure you know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip
or fall down at least twice, more if you are female.
Also note that, despite the fact that you are running
and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still
moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit
uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination
for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so
on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations,
some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street,
Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you
recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws
are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in
Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely
road, do not go to he nearby deserted-looking house to
phone for help. If you think that it is strange you
ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a
tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die
anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example:
chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric
carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches,
soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from
deceased companions.

18. If you find that your house is built upon a
cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws.
This also applies to houses that had previous
inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died
in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who
performed satanic practices.

19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise
downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a
flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, not a candle.

20. Do not mention the names of demons around open
flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially
careful of fireplaces in this regard.

21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland
countryside.

Dark Lord · Oct 14, 2004, 09:13 PM

and remember, at all times carry a 12 gauge pump action sawed off shotgun. works wonders on zombies and small children

GutterPunk · Oct 14, 2004, 09:47 PM

hehe those are funny

Ript_Van_Winkle · Oct 17, 2004, 09:23 PM

LOL!

Always remember all the words to an incantation that can stop the demon horde as well-

Quote:

KLAATU! VERRATA! NIC-*cough*

mike2h · Oct 17, 2004, 09:59 PM

lol!!

riles9262 · Oct 17, 2004, 10:13 PM

haha, jolly good

mbeeston · Oct 18, 2004, 07:14 AM

thease are just commen sense rules ^^;

Scar_T · Oct 18, 2004, 10:01 PM

I'm gonna print those rules

, i wanna survive for christmas.

Oct 14, 2004, 08:56 PM	#1
mike2h DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: norcal Posts: 6,483 Rep Power: 89 System Specs	halloween safety rules. The 21 Rules Of Halloween! With Halloween upon us, it is worthwhile to remember a few simple rules to help keep this season healthy, happy and SAFE! Please use these helpful hints this and every year!! 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. 2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. 3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out. 4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, SHOOT them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice. 5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone. 6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. 7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well. 8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT! 9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out. 10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead. 11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around. 12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing. 13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. 14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately. 15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. 16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to he nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten. 17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions. 18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices. 19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, not a candle. 20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard. 21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside. __________________

Oct 14, 2004, 09:47 PM	#3
GutterPunk I = Greatest Dood Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Nebraska Posts: 5,949 Rep Power: 70	hehe those are funny __________________ Rock On \m/ Thank you Mousey for the Sig! --------------- Intel Core2Duo E6660 (3.4GHZ) ~ Tuniq Tower 120 ~ Enermax Galaxy 1000W ~ Corsair Dominator @ 1090MHZ 5-5-5-15 (OCZ XTC Modded Cooler)~ EVGA 8800GTX W/ HR-03 Plus 120MM ~ Asus DVD-RW LiteScribe ~ LG DVD-RW ~ Corsair Voyager 2GB ReadyBoost Drive ~ Vantec Nexus Fan Controller ~ ThermalTake Armor 25CM fan ~ Personal Finance Blog: Dent Your Debt

Oct 17, 2004, 09:59 PM	Thread Starter #5
mike2h DriverHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: norcal Posts: 6,483 Rep Power: 89 System Specs	lol!! __________________

Oct 17, 2004, 10:13 PM	#6
riles9262 Driverheaven brewmaster Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: British Columbia, Canada Posts: 4,842 Rep Power: 70 System Specs	haha, jolly good __________________ A beer a day keeps the doctor away.

Oct 18, 2004, 07:14 AM	#7
mbeeston HardwareHeaven Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: alberta, canada (thats north of the usa people) Posts: 1,037 Rep Power: 66 System Specs	thease are just commen sense rules ^^; __________________ R.I.P Roadee - you will be missed T_T peace,love, and war... 3 things people look for... "if your going off the deep end, show off, do a cannon ball!" - me

Oct 14, 2004, 09:13 PM	#2
Dark Lord HardwareHeaven Extreme Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 5,945 Rep Power: 124 System Specs	and remember, at all times carry a 12 gauge pump action sawed off shotgun. works wonders on zombies and small children

Oct 18, 2004, 10:01 PM	#8
Scar_T DriverHeaven Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 84 Rep Power: 0	I'm gonna print those rules , i wanna survive for christmas. Last edited by Scar_T; Oct 18, 2004 at 10:10 PM.