[Callandor]

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

FASCIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows.
The government takes both and shoots you.

FEUDALISM
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.

TOTALITARIANISM
You have two cows.
The government takes them and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both
to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other,
pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while
they were in the hospital.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking cow.

CALIFORNIAN CORPORATION
You have a cow and a bull.
The bull is depressed.
It has spent its life living a lie.
It goes away for two weeks.
It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
You now have two cows.
One makes milk; the other doesn't.
You try to sell the transgender cow.
Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
You lose in court.
You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow.
You change your business to beef. PETA pickets your farm.
Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway.
Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows".
Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for the children".
Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico.
The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats.
You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
The cow starves to death.
The L.A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.


ENVIRONMENTALISM
You have two cows.
The government bans you from milking or killing them.

FEMINISM
You have two cows.
They get married and adopt a veal calf.

MEXICAN CORPORATION
You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like.
You take a nap.

INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTAN CORPORATION
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to
you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for
military aid, British
for warplanes, Italy for machines,
Germany for technology, French
for submarines, Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs and Japan for
equipment. You buy the cows with all this
and claim exploitation by the world.

BANGLADESH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You don't know economy.
You choose one of them as the Prime Minister of the country and the other as the Leader of the Opposition.

CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

SINGAPORE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows.
The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed animals in an apartment.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the Feng Shui is bad.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge for storing them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You enter into a partnership with an American corporation.
Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad.
The government doesn't do anything.

ANARCHY
You have two cows.
Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.

[Asmoday]

Hahaha!!!

[Vikingod]

Thats good, I think I have seen that before, or something like it.

[pr0digal jenius]

hahaha

I've seen the "why'd the chicken cross the road" version of that

[Logla]

Absolute class. Just what I needed to start the weekend. Thanks for that.

[Sandok]

PERFECT!!!

[vince3425]

thats great! i love the california one, its so damn true!

[Vikingod]

Originally Posted by pr0digal jenius

hahaha

I've seen the "why'd the chicken cross the road" version of that

thats right, thats the one I've seen.

the Totalitarian one is funny, it like it

[Chubby_C]

thumbs up for a good laugh

[dj_stick]

this is the extended version of the one posted her last year

pretty funny

[mainman]

OMFG!! Thats awsome!!

[CDsDontBurn]

Originally Posted by sun_walka

CALIFORNIAN CORPORATION
You have a cow and a bull.
The bull is depressed.
It has spent its life living a lie.
It goes away for two weeks.
It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
You now have two cows.
One makes milk; the other doesn't.
You try to sell the transgender cow.
Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
You lose in court.
You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow.
You change your business to beef. PETA pickets your farm.
Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway.
Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows".
Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for the children".
Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico.
The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats.
You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
The cow starves to death.
The L.A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.

I love living in California

[Nicky-chan]

ROLF! Thats great!

your forgot Manism tho


Manism:
You have two cows.
You eat them.
You wonder were they went.
You blame the beer.
You toss the blamed beer in a fire.
Your friend next to you gets blown up.
You tell your master.
He kill you.
He wonders were the cows went.
He blames the whisky.
He tosses it into the fire.
He blows up and dies.
The whole colony dies of starvation.

Of corse an alternitive to manism
Manism:
You Have 2 Cows
You bust out a 12 pack of whisky.
The Cows Drink Them All
They turn and look at you.
They turn into mad cows and kill you and everyone around.
The Presedent gets calls about a missing town.
They found the cows eating the presedent a week after they where sent out to find the cows.
They die and everyone on the face of earth.
The Aliens wonder what happend to the pitiful humen race that they watched on there tv's.
The cows took a rocket into space to kill anything that lived even there own kind.
All aliens were no more and the universe was overunned by 2 mad cows.
The End.

Makes almost no sence but i thinks its funny
=P

[md5]

A bit old, but funny nonetheless