HardwareHeaven.com
Looking for the skin chooser?
 
 
  • Home

  • Reviews

  • Articles

  • News

  • Tools

  • GamingHeaven

  • Forums

  • Network

 

Go Back   HardwareHeaven.com > Forums > HardwareHeaven's Heaven > Off-Topic Forum


Off-Topic Forum A place to chill and relax ...

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old Aug 24, 2005, 09:08 AM   #1
Old Codger
 
Falstaff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: USAFA
Posts: 19,047
Rep Power: 206
Falstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his status

Donator Gold Member
A horse, a chicken and a Harley

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse,
both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when
the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for
the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving
at the farm, he searched and searched for the
farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town
with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's
new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition,
the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping
he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy,
to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and
he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the
chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the
farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward
and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the
horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to
the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when
he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented:
Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit,
and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the
horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled
the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the
chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then
lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him
up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? .......
(yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!)

"When You're Hung Like A Horse,
You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks"
__________________
"Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."
Falstaff is offline   Reply With Quote


Old Aug 24, 2005, 10:50 AM   #2
F0rum For Humans Only
 
Mr cairo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Slightly to the left
Posts: 1,763
Rep Power: 87
Mr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seen
System Specs

Donator
someone please .. shoot me in the head

awful m8 just awful theres bad jokes and then theres that one
__________________

Mr cairo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 24, 2005, 10:52 AM   #3
Apple Fanboy?
 
dj_stick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Basement of the first floor
Posts: 17,469
Rep Power: 188
dj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his statusdj_stick is godlike in his status
System Specs

heard something similiar before, but it was ferrari or something…
__________________
Chris - The Aussie Super Mod
Hardwareheaven Rules - Sig Request Thread

How you can help HardwareHeaven by using Digg!

Hardwareheaven Super-Moderator

Quote:
Originally Posted by OmegaRED View Post
You know, there's "off topic" and then there's so freakin' off topic it you gotta wear a straitjacket to join the conversation.
dj_stick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 24, 2005, 11:27 AM Threadstarter Thread Starter   #4
Old Codger
 
Falstaff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: USAFA
Posts: 19,047
Rep Power: 206
Falstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his status

Donator Gold Member
guys....it aint that bad....."sniff"
__________________
"Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."
Falstaff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 24, 2005, 03:29 PM   #5
HH Administrator
 
craig5320's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 8,282
Rep Power: 428
craig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his statuscraig5320 is godlike in his status
System Specs

Yeah, it was a BMW when I heard it, surely you'd only be able to pick up one chick, on a harley. You need a BMW to fit multiple chicks in
__________________
craig5320 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 24, 2005, 03:35 PM   #6
alpha male
 
LeanWolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Skyrim
Posts: 5,702
Rep Power: 80
LeanWolf has much to be proud ofLeanWolf has much to be proud ofLeanWolf has much to be proud ofLeanWolf has much to be proud ofLeanWolf has much to be proud ofLeanWolf has much to be proud ofLeanWolf has much to be proud ofLeanWolf has much to be proud ofLeanWolf has much to be proud of
System Specs

i thought it was pretty good
do bikes have bumpers?
__________________
LeanWolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 25, 2005, 02:31 AM   #7
F0rum For Humans Only
 
Mr cairo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Slightly to the left
Posts: 1,763
Rep Power: 87
Mr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seenMr cairo has a divinity and aura the likes we have never seen
System Specs

Donator
This guy's at work when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that his wife's been in an accident. He rushes to A&E where he's met by the doctor. They sit down in the waiting room and the doctor, with a very solemn look on his face starts to speak. But before he can, the guy interrupts.

Guy: "Doc, don't tell me my wife's dead. I just can't take it. Really, I can't take it. I love her."

Doctor: "Well, sir, I do have some bad news." Again the guy interrupts.

Guy: "Doc, just tell me, did she make it?"

Doctor: "As I was saying, we did all we could. Right now she's in a vegatative state, which is likely where she'll remain for the rest of her life. She can stay here overnight, but after that, you'll have to take her home because your insurance doesn't cover this type of thing."

The guy slumps, just crushed.

Doctor: "With the right care, which will include you feeding her five times a day, cleaning her and giving her constant care on a daily basis, she'll likely live for at least another 30 years."

The guy sinks even lower, just crushed, and starts to cry.

Doctor: "As I said, your insurance doesn't cover this kind of care, so you'll have to make some sort of arrangements to purchase the equipment you'll need for your wife. I would suggest you put your house on the market today and sell it as quickly as possible and buy a mobile home. You're gonna need the excess cash. It should be enough to buy the equipment your wife needs and for you to live on for the next couple of months. By then, you should be able to qualify for welfare and other forms of DSS and government aid."

By this point, the guy is sobbing uncontrollably.

The doctor reaches over, puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "Hey, look at me."
The guy looks up and the doctor smiles and says, "I'm just fucking with you, she's dead."
__________________

Mr cairo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 25, 2005, 06:29 AM Threadstarter Thread Starter   #8
Old Codger
 
Falstaff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: USAFA
Posts: 19,047
Rep Power: 206
Falstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his statusFalstaff is godlike in his status

Donator Gold Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by cairo
This guy's at work when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that his wife's been in an accident. He rushes to A&E where he's met by the doctor. They sit down in the waiting room and the doctor, with a very solemn look on his face starts to speak. But before he can, the guy interrupts.

Guy: "Doc, don't tell me my wife's dead. I just can't take it. Really, I can't take it. I love her."

Doctor: "Well, sir, I do have some bad news." Again the guy interrupts.

Guy: "Doc, just tell me, did she make it?"

Doctor: "As I was saying, we did all we could. Right now she's in a vegatative state, which is likely where she'll remain for the rest of her life. She can stay here overnight, but after that, you'll have to take her home because your insurance doesn't cover this type of thing."

The guy slumps, just crushed.

Doctor: "With the right care, which will include you feeding her five times a day, cleaning her and giving her constant care on a daily basis, she'll likely live for at least another 30 years."

The guy sinks even lower, just crushed, and starts to cry.

Doctor: "As I said, your insurance doesn't cover this kind of care, so you'll have to make some sort of arrangements to purchase the equipment you'll need for your wife. I would suggest you put your house on the market today and sell it as quickly as possible and buy a mobile home. You're gonna need the excess cash. It should be enough to buy the equipment your wife needs and for you to live on for the next couple of months. By then, you should be able to qualify for welfare and other forms of DSS and government aid."

By this point, the guy is sobbing uncontrollably.

The doctor reaches over, puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "Hey, look at me."
The guy looks up and the doctor smiles and says, "I'm just fucking with you, she's dead."

bwahahahhaha....long and wierd...like my humour...
__________________
"Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."
Falstaff is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools