last wishes

Falstaff · Sep 4, 2009, 09:01 PM

I really dont know quite where this all fits in. I have a question really rather than any sort of argument. My father is a diabetic, a cancer survivor twice after extensive chemotherapy, a veteran of over twenty years of continuous service to the military and he is getting to the point in his life where like his father before him, wishes not to be a burden on the family and die at home if the lord is ready to recieve him.
I have, for the past five years accepted his wish to end his days at home, rather than at a big hospital with wires and tube all over him. He has however, rebounded from chemo-therapy, put on wieght, and even with occasional bouts of senility, entertained the nieghbors with his slippered treks through the waist high snow in his birthday suit, only to be rescued by my mother, a heart attack surviver times two and soundly scolded back into the house.
We have taken his guns, his keys and his donuts and cookies away from him to prolong the inevitable but he remains steadfast in his beliefs, that he wishes to die among his family.
Here is my idea...
When my fathers last days are upon us, and he fears the spectre of death at the threshold of the doorway, that we take a road trip back home to Big Timber Montana, drive to the fossil ridge over the old homestead and let him pass on to the otherside as the sun rises or sets if that be the case, but at no time should we intervene unless he specifically requests it.
I understand how he feels about his last days, his wishes and his desire to expire in his own bed, I am certainly not against that.
Wouldnt it make more sense or mean more to him if he was in his favorite place, above the Boulder River, over the old house and the old county road and wait for his maker there.
I know you cant predict when you will go, but like his father before him, he wishes not to be plugged into anything when he goes, merely give up the spirit when he is ready, not when the county hospital says he is.
I am ready to make this happen, should he see fit, and discuss any other option as well.
I am surprised I have lived this long, after all the mis-adventure, accidents and alcohol poisoning I suffered because of my own stupidity. I think it would much better to see the sun rise or set during my last few moments.
Maybe I am selfish, but I have to come to terms with the fact that I am not indestructible, only flesh and bone and I could disappear in a moment, only be replaced by one hundred screaming babies the world over.
Death is our constant companion from the time we are borne, time to get aquainted and plan for the moment when we should return from whence we came.

Tyrsonswood · Sep 5, 2009, 03:47 AM

I can't answer your question, but dieing while being in your favorite place would be the way to go. For me anyways.

OmegaRED · Sep 5, 2009, 05:07 AM

I admire you selflessness in going to great lengths to make him most comfortable in his last days. Would another option be for him to be at home with you and your family at the end rather than a hospital? This seems like a good middle ground and much less problematic than going on a road trip.

Falstaff · Sep 5, 2009, 06:07 AM

that is the way I feel.
better to be near his family rather than in a bed surrounded by beeping and chirping technology.

Sep 4, 2009, 09:01 PM	#1
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,047 Rep Power: 206	last wishes I really dont know quite where this all fits in. I have a question really rather than any sort of argument. My father is a diabetic, a cancer survivor twice after extensive chemotherapy, a veteran of over twenty years of continuous service to the military and he is getting to the point in his life where like his father before him, wishes not to be a burden on the family and die at home if the lord is ready to recieve him. I have, for the past five years accepted his wish to end his days at home, rather than at a big hospital with wires and tube all over him. He has however, rebounded from chemo-therapy, put on wieght, and even with occasional bouts of senility, entertained the nieghbors with his slippered treks through the waist high snow in his birthday suit, only to be rescued by my mother, a heart attack surviver times two and soundly scolded back into the house. We have taken his guns, his keys and his donuts and cookies away from him to prolong the inevitable but he remains steadfast in his beliefs, that he wishes to die among his family. Here is my idea... When my fathers last days are upon us, and he fears the spectre of death at the threshold of the doorway, that we take a road trip back home to Big Timber Montana, drive to the fossil ridge over the old homestead and let him pass on to the otherside as the sun rises or sets if that be the case, but at no time should we intervene unless he specifically requests it. I understand how he feels about his last days, his wishes and his desire to expire in his own bed, I am certainly not against that. Wouldnt it make more sense or mean more to him if he was in his favorite place, above the Boulder River, over the old house and the old county road and wait for his maker there. I know you cant predict when you will go, but like his father before him, he wishes not to be plugged into anything when he goes, merely give up the spirit when he is ready, not when the county hospital says he is. I am ready to make this happen, should he see fit, and discuss any other option as well. I am surprised I have lived this long, after all the mis-adventure, accidents and alcohol poisoning I suffered because of my own stupidity. I think it would much better to see the sun rise or set during my last few moments. Maybe I am selfish, but I have to come to terms with the fact that I am not indestructible, only flesh and bone and I could disappear in a moment, only be replaced by one hundred screaming babies the world over. Death is our constant companion from the time we are borne, time to get aquainted and plan for the moment when we should return from whence we came. __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

Sep 5, 2009, 05:07 AM	#3
OmegaRED Relapsed Gamer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ottawa , Canada Posts: 5,625 Rep Power: 171 System Specs	Re: last wishes I admire you selflessness in going to great lengths to make him most comfortable in his last days. Would another option be for him to be at home with you and your family at the end rather than a hospital? This seems like a good middle ground and much less problematic than going on a road trip. __________________ E Penis Specs: <------------- See System Specs

Sep 5, 2009, 06:07 AM	Thread Starter #4
Falstaff Old Codger Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USAFA Posts: 19,047 Rep Power: 206	Re: last wishes that is the way I feel. better to be near his family rather than in a bed surrounded by beeping and chirping technology. __________________ "Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."