My father died a couple of days ago and while not entirely out of the blue, it was certainly not expected or so soon either. I am not going to write about him or anything like that. Just about one aspect of the whole thing. It's not the first close person to me to have died, but it is the closest one. The mixed emotions about the whole affair...I find them interesting and the whole new-ish way of thinking about life/death, fascinating. Feelings and thoughts about how, at the same time, it all makes sense from both a scientific thinking and spiritual/religious. It's too complicated and mixed in my mind to come to any conclusions, but it is as I said, fascinating. Two of the things I find interesting and I am going to mention them. 1) The complete lack of desire to cry. This is nothing new, but I expected to cry even a bit because of how close this human was to me. 2) I've heard stories from others (non Atheists) losing people so close to them and they usually, at some point and some level, have thoughts that tend to go to two directions. Either complete acceptance (God's plan and all) or anger towards God. I have neither. God as being active part of his death, just doesn't come to my mind unless I make an effort to think if I want to think about this. I hope I make sense. Fascinating. Edit: Just to clarify, it's not that I don't feel sadness and depressed about it.