Very short jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Trusteft, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -1 Great-grandson-and one in the oven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2002
    Messages:
    18,905
    Likes Received:
    1,805
    Trophy Points:
    153
    At Christmastime, a Sunday School teacher, of 6 and 7 years olds, gave the class a project to draw a picture of their favorite Christmas song. They needed to write the name of the song across the top and then draw beneath what they thought the song was about.

    At the end of the class, she collected the drawings and began to look through them.

    She came across one that had, "Silent Night" written at the top. She could make out baby Jesus, Mary, the manger, some animals and what appeared to be the Three Wisemen. But, at one side was a huge round character that she had no clue as to who he was supposed to be.

    Curious, she called the youngster to the front and commented, "I can make out most of who and what you have in the drawing. But, I'm puzzled as to who this big round fellow is over here"...pointing to the big round character.

    Matter of factly, the little fellow stated, "Why, teacher, that's Round John Virgin!"
     
  2. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2004
    Messages:
    10,370
    Likes Received:
    1,625
    Trophy Points:
    138
    What's the difference between a single and a married man?
    A man living alone does all of the house chores by himself; a married man has a wife to make him do those things.
     
  3. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2004
    Messages:
    21,535
    Likes Received:
    2,138
    Trophy Points:
    153
    I don't get it.
     
  4. MIG-31

    MIG-31 HardwareHeaven News Mod Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Messages:
    73,644
    Likes Received:
    1,907
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Trusteft likes this.
  5. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2004
    Messages:
    21,535
    Likes Received:
    2,138
    Trophy Points:
    153
  6. Calliers

    Calliers Just got off the hedonic treadmill... Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2004
    Messages:
    44,200
    Likes Received:
    2,893
    Trophy Points:
    139
    Hahahaha!!! Good one! (especially for those of us single guys on here :) )
     
  7. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -1 Great-grandson-and one in the oven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2002
    Messages:
    18,905
    Likes Received:
    1,805
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Two old ladies were sitting in church together.
    One turned to the other and quietly stated, "My butt fell asleep."
    The other lady replied, "I know. I heard it snore a couple of times."
     
    IvanV, Trusteft and Calliers like this.
  8. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -1 Great-grandson-and one in the oven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2002
    Messages:
    18,905
    Likes Received:
    1,805
    Trophy Points:
    153
    I hesitate to post this because: 1. Many of you may be too young to actually understand the significance of this, and, 2. Those outside the USA will likely not have had the exposure to what the comment alludes to... But, here goes...


    [​IMG]


    NOTE: If, for any reason, you're still scratching your head...

    "Oh! Susanna!"

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh!_Susanna
     
    Tyrsonswood and Calliers like this.
  9. Calliers

    Calliers Just got off the hedonic treadmill... Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2004
    Messages:
    44,200
    Likes Received:
    2,893
    Trophy Points:
    139
    Oh, nice! Sadly I didn't get the joke until I read the lyrics of the song hehe, although I have heard the song before. :)
     
  10. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2004
    Messages:
    21,535
    Likes Received:
    2,138
    Trophy Points:
    153
    I don't find it particularly funny (At all), but thanks for sharing.

    I had no idea what the full lyrics were so I was a bit surprised with this part
    Racism aside, it reminds me of a friend of friends I used to know when I was a kid who claimed to have killed around 150 Turks on an sole expedition. He was like 13.
    j
     
  11. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2004
    Messages:
    10,370
    Likes Received:
    1,625
    Trophy Points:
    138
    I don't know why I always thought it was Louisiana. EDIT: Oh, he's going to Louisiana, I got the two mixed up.
     
  12. Calliers

    Calliers Just got off the hedonic treadmill... Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2004
    Messages:
    44,200
    Likes Received:
    2,893
    Trophy Points:
    139
    The following is about The Hateful Eight and contains spoilers.

    That's one of the reasons I love The Hateful Eight so much, even though Samuel L. Jackson's character is black, of course, he seems to be the one in charge of everything, right up to the part where he gets his balls blown off obviously. Considering the times this was quite an achievement.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2019
  13. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2004
    Messages:
    21,535
    Likes Received:
    2,138
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Thanks for the spoilers warning...
     
    IvanV likes this.
  14. Calliers

    Calliers Just got off the hedonic treadmill... Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2004
    Messages:
    44,200
    Likes Received:
    2,893
    Trophy Points:
    139
    Sorry. :(
     
  15. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -1 Great-grandson-and one in the oven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2002
    Messages:
    18,905
    Likes Received:
    1,805
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Like I said at the outset, I had some hesitation about posting this. The song was written in 1840 when attitudes toward the races was a whole other matter of discussion. Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) used the offensive word in his own writings even many years later.

    What MY own first thought was when seeing this was this: "Just how DRUNK was he when he commissioned this tattoo?!" :)
     
  16. Calliers

    Calliers Just got off the hedonic treadmill... Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2004
    Messages:
    44,200
    Likes Received:
    2,893
    Trophy Points:
    139
    Don't worry Dyre, we know your intentions were pure. You're a good soul. :)
     
  17. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2004
    Messages:
    10,370
    Likes Received:
    1,625
    Trophy Points:
    138
    I want us to be like Romeo and Juliet!
    - Are you sure you read that thing all the way till the end?
     
    Trusteft and Calliers like this.
  18. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2004
    Messages:
    10,370
    Likes Received:
    1,625
    Trophy Points:
    138
    dentist, while working on a patient: "All right now, it looks like we're going to have to pull this one out! Don't be scared, Mike, there's first time for everything..."
    patient: "But my name isn't Mike!"
    dentist: "I know, that's my name..."
     
    Calliers likes this.
  19. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2004
    Messages:
    10,370
    Likes Received:
    1,625
    Trophy Points:
    138
  20. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2004
    Messages:
    21,535
    Likes Received:
    2,138
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Good joke.
    I miss this gun.
     

Share This Page

visited